My mother does not bath

[Hstarr]

So as time has gone by ive noticed my mum doesn't wash or shower at all only thing shes washes is her hair, i find it absolutely gross as I cannot go a day without a wash!
Last time I witnessed her shower was at Christmas its been months since then!
How can I approach this situation or just let her get on with it?

Is her health OK? How old is she? Does she need help?

Does she have a good strip wash every day?
Does she smell?

Yeah shes in her 50's no health issues at all

Maybe she's struggling physically or mentally. Could you talk to her and explain that you are worried and ask if you can help?
I would be blunt and just say you have been worrying about her as you have noticed.

No water touches that woman's body lol im at home all day as currently on mat leave

Sorry just seen your pp.
I'd just come out and say you know and ask why.

Does she look unkempt? Lack of self care can be a marker for MH issues.

Well a month ago i did mention it slightly in a joke way but she claims she does when im out which is only when ive been at work and so has she! Its become embarrassing as my DH has noticed it aswell

Its odd as she always looks presentable more than me most days i just find it odd

Agree with pp about mental health. Personally when my mental health isn't great I put on a 'show' with hair and makeup but have bypassed the shower as I feel so mentally drained it feels like a chore

Does she wash her body when she washed her hair? How does she do hair washing without getting in the shower or bath?

TBH if she hadn't washed since Christmas you would smell her by now!

Maybe she does only shower when everyone is out of the house. Does she have an ensuite bathroom. Has the bathroom got a lock on the door? She may have a fear about being naked with other people in the house.
If she doesn't smell then she is doing something to clean herself. I wouldn't worry about it.

This is your mother you are taking about. You need to take into consideration whether or not she is clinically depressed as people who feel this way do not have the energy to have a shower or a bath. It is not her fault if that's the case. Instead of being nasty about the woman who has birthed and brought you up, how about you go and see her and support her - find out what's wrong, is she feeling OK, does she need support or help?

If a stranger would notice that she hasn't been washing (ie she smells) or she has health problems caused by poor hygiene (fungal infections for example) then see if you can help her. If not then it's not really any of your business.

Do you live with your Mum? Sorry if you've already said and I've missed it.

My DSIL used to refuse to wash. She was lazy and in poor health and it was just too much bother. She absolutely reeked. She has a friend who used to bully her into the shower.

May i add I'm not being nasty at all to the woman who has raised me i was asking for advise from those in a similar situation ! She has no mental health issues as my brother is just as bad! It is just down to laziness

Could you buy her a gift of some nice bath oils just to say thanks for being around and suggest a nice relaxing soak. She may feel obliged to use them, esp if you keep asking what she thought of them.

Im sensing that you're not at all sincere in your concern for her.

Is it a generation thing? My mum only baths once a week, MIL too. Neither of them have a shower at home. They don't smell awful but you can tell.

Do you live with her? It's just not clear. How do you know what she is doing all the time? How do you know she doesn't wash when she washes her hair? I'm just confused as to how you know so much about your mum's showering habits.

I shower and bathe daily but never at the same time as washing my hair. I wash my hair with a shower hose, over the bath, fully clothed. My elderly mum washes her hair in a bathroom basin by bending over and using jugs of water. Not everyone gets a shower and a hair wash at the same time.

Have you asked her about this?

ie had an open and honest conversation?

If it were my mum I'd be ok about saying I noticed she was a bit whiffy.

Yes we live under the same roof! On most showers you can use the hose and shower head and put your head over the bath to wash your hair i do it all the time.
Im never to close to her to smell her but she does wear a strong perfume I've noticed. I clearly do have concern but I'm unable to speak about this to people I actually know I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone in this situation. Its not a subject that you can just bring up.