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Original poster

I have just injected my dh, and now we wait for the side effects....

66 replies

naswm · 06/07/2007 21:05

...I am so scared.

Last week the side effects were horrendous. This week we have given the injection later in the day, and dh hopes he will be able to sleep some of it off through the night. I am not so confident. I saw how ill he was and he doesnt remember all of it. I hate the fact that I have deliberately injected him with a poison that will make him ill.

I am feeling very and and mixed up this evening.

(dh has liver failure and has just started anti-cancer treatment)

OP posts:
DutchOma · 08/07/2007 20:39

Nas, I went to church tonight and as I was a bit early I spent the time praying for you trying to imagine what you wer going through. I wondered whether the Bible had anything to say to you and opened it at the book of Psalms. This is what I found and I copy it for you in full in case you find it hard to find a Bible. I've changed one word in v4, him to her.

  1. How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?

  2. How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and every day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

  3. Look on me and answer, O Lord my God
    Give light to my eye, or I will sleep in death;

  4. my enemy will say, "I have overcome her,"
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

  5. But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.

  6. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.

I do so hope that you may find some comfort in the fact that there have been people thousands of years before you who have felt just like you and who have come out at the other end.
I will continue to pray for you

wrinklytum · 08/07/2007 20:45

Naswm,glad it has not been as bad this time.

I was pretty inebriated on Fri night tooas you could probably tell from my poststhanks for YOUR support,too.

Wishing you and your family much strength.

shhhh · 08/07/2007 21:15

have been watching this thread. thinking of you x

Original poster
naswm · 08/07/2007 21:25

Gosh so many posts. I feel very overcome. But I am not strong or any of the other thigns you said. I feel anything but strong. Or any of the other things.

Thank you DutchOma for that psalm. I do have a bible. I have many. And I can see a whole shelf of concordances and theological books. But God is a distant reality for me at the moment. I know that Jesus is walking beside me, but I cannot feel his Spirit in me any more

Oh dear, now I am feelin even sadder

OP posts:
lou031205 · 08/07/2007 21:42

Nawsm, these words are for you:

Nawsm's help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip?
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Nawsm
will neither slumber nor sleep. (Psalm 121:2-4)

He will not be sleeping, so you can. Rest a while, and He WILL strengthen you.

God bless you tonight,

Lou

Original poster
naswm · 08/07/2007 21:45

thansk lou - I just wish I could feel him again

OP posts:
DutchOma · 08/07/2007 22:50

If you take a deep breath, that is the Spirit of God in you. If you drink a glass of water, Jesus is the water of life.You'd maybe better have Ribena at the moment rather than wine, but Jesus' blood was shed for you. If you take a crust of bread: this is my body.
These are realities, whether you feel it or not. Your emotions are all over the place and cannot be trusted. God is above all that and He will watch over you. And your dh. And your ds1 and ds2.
And 'when I am weak, then I am strong'.
Make yourself praise God, that is an act of your will, I will praise the Lord.
Every blessing

Original poster
naswm · 08/07/2007 23:14

then why am I not lsitening then?

this is not abotu me anyway

OP posts:
Marina · 08/07/2007 23:31

naswm, I felt very distanced from God after a stillbirth for a time, and some words written by Julian of Norwich in the 14th century really spoke to me then:

"He said not 'Thou shalt not be tempested, thou shalt not be travailed, thou shalt not be dis-eased'; but he said, 'Thou shalt not be overcome.' "

Original poster
naswm · 08/07/2007 23:34

oh marian I am soyr. I thnk we live near easch other btw....

OP posts:
Original poster
naswm · 08/07/2007 23:36

marina

OP posts:
Marina · 08/07/2007 23:38

I'll CAT you naswm. I hadn't realised you were nearby.

mamama · 08/07/2007 23:50

{hugs}

Original poster
naswm · 09/07/2007 00:09

thansk marina - hi mamaa

OP posts:
Original poster
naswm · 09/07/2007 21:11

just heard dh on phone to his dm. He has been telling her how he is feeling. I am quite upset to hear him talk so frankly. He doesnt normally talk to her so openly about things like this. It must be bad

OP posts:
mamama · 09/07/2007 23:20

Oh dear. Did he tell you the same as you head him tell his dm?

I'm sorry you had to hear something so upsetting

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