I have just injected my dh, and now we wait for the side effects....

[naswm]

...I am so scared.

Last week the side effects were horrendous. This week we have given the injection later in the day, and dh hopes he will be able to sleep some of it off through the night. I am not so confident. I saw how ill he was and he doesnt remember all of it. I hate the fact that I have deliberately injected him with a poison that will make him ill.

I am feeling very and and mixed up this evening.

(dh has liver failure and has just started anti-cancer treatment)

oh i wish i could help you .You have a good cry if it makes you feel better .What a lot you haveto worry about. Is there no family or anyone at all.You have lots of people you cantalk to on here when the load gets too much for you .

mummylin youa re being too kind

no fmaily nearby. Infact family dont knwow abotu traatment... Few fridns, but there is only so much you can depoend on issnt there?

I wish I could share waht is going on in my head atm. I feel so alone

i can talk to you for a while if you want

are you on msn ?

you know that what you just have done is for the best, or at leat thtaq you hope for thest...so he won't old it against you!

mummylin you really dont need to be so kind. I am fine, honeslsty. I wil sober myself up and pluck up the coruogage to go up to bed and then lie thre and see hwhat happens.

Yes to msns btw

sorry, my post is a bit abrunpt...but I really hope what |I mean...you can only what is best, when you think it is!

my msn is lineaton at hotmail dot com if you ever want to chat .keep your chin up .im sure you will get a lot of support on here to help you get through.

you go on to bed then ,im sure sleep will be welcome for you .You must feel shattered.i will talk to you again i hope.goodnight

felel such a fool now.

A scared fool as I rlaly dont want to go to bed

This is the lonelyest place I ahve ever been. I cant face ti. horribele

hi, nas, are you still up?

Sorry to hear you're both having such a tough time. You must be feeling awful, especially if you're on your own tonight.

Maybe this time won't be so bad?

Love and hugs

naswm - despite what you think, you are very brave and you ARE doing what's best for your DH - but because it hurts him, its hurting you too.

I hope you were able to get some rest last night - you need to keep your strength up and take care of you too {hug}

Let us know how you are? I only saw this thread this am

Poor, poor thing...I hope you got some sleep xxx

Hope last night went as ok as can be expected and your feeling alright.

hi naswm hope you managed to get your much needed sleep in the end ,i enoyed chatting to you and i promise i will find that photo !! maybe not today because i am going on a hen night tonight.Hope you dh is not too bad this morning.will look out for you on msn.

How are things now naswm? Sorry I wasn't here for you last night, but I think a lot about how you are coping and how awfully difficult it must be for you. How was your night and how have you coped today?
{{hugs}}

naswn, how are things today?

Hope you and dh have had a better day today Naswm xxx

Thank you for all the posts.

Well, it is now two nights since the injecion and overall we think he has tolerated it better. That is not to say that it has been trouble free, on the contrary, but all in all he has not reacted quite so severely. He is very jaundiced still and weak.

However, I have not been dealing with it well at all. I was in a dreaful state on Friday evening (as you possibly could tell from my posts - literally sitting waiting for something to happen. I drank a lot but still hardly slept. Yesterday was a manic day. Single parents have always had my admiration, and now even more so. The boys are getting used to the fact that Daddy is unwell. Although, on what level we cannot know at this stage.

Today is set to be another busy day. We bought the boys a new little tykes climbing frame for their birthdays which we had planned to put up yesterday. However, due to all the rain lately the grass was so long it wasnt possible yesterday. But I cut the grass last night (nightmare job as it was 8inches high) and in a minute I will rake it up and hopefully put in the new jungle climbing frame together. I hope I can manage it - the box was huge when it was delievered. I dont quite know how I dragged it in to the garage! Then later today the boys have a party. That should be nice.

Right, now I am waffling. Thank you for your support, as always.

I am changing my meds today and am a bit anxious about the effect that will have on my ability to keep going.

I can hear screams from the other room. I had better go.

hi naswm,hope you have a good day and manage to get the frame put together,maybe we will chat later .

I am just astounded at how brilliant you are. Ok, I know the drinking is not good, so do you no doubt and I worry when I see the posts you mention, but on the whole, you cope. How clever it is to even plan to set up a jungle frame, never mind the state you are in. Or the state your dh is in.
Bless you dearie, keep posting, it's the first thing I look for, hope you don't feel 'stalked'

Prayers. {{{{hugs}}}}

you have my utmost admiration Naswm.....you really do

I am wishing you and DH and teh boys, all the strength in the world to get through this xxxxx

naswm reiterating all th previous posts , I would also like to say I think you are being very bvrave and strong. Its so ok to be anxious , confused , down , up , philosophical, the lot. Im glad you have MN to come and chat with others and open your heart, its always good to let it out. What you are going through with your dh(& him too) , is a really difficult thing.

Sending you my healing thoughts for you and your family x