parents Inheritance

[Murphy99]

My parents organised their will back in 1997, when I was still married, I have one brother, we are not close, I have 3 kids, he has 4, they are all in their 20s.

Our solicitor originally drafted the Will on a 50/50 basis between me and my brother, with 25% of our share to go to grandkids. My brothers wife interfered afterwards and mum agreed to change to a third to me and my brother each, and a third to grandkids so they had a larger share of the pot.

At that stage the values werent massive, but mum 7 dad have inherited a significant amount from another source, and I have gone through a nasty divorce and come out with little, both since the original will was drafted.

Originally my mum had envisaged the grandkids, who now are all in late 20s would have about £1k, but on current values this will be in the region of £15k each, and i think its too much.

I have suggested that we need to revise the Will

Any thoufghts would be appreciated

Not your money - seems a very fair split to me anyway. The kids are not young so it will be a good start to saving for a home or paying off student debts

If they died intestate then I believe the money would be split between you and your DB. But as they have chosen to include the grandchildren then you have to suck it up.

They should leave it all to the grandkids, give them an excellent start in life. That’s what we do in my family.

Your SIL should have kept quiet (your DB must have been complicit) and your parents should have stuck to their plan if that is what they wanted.

I can understand your parents wanting to leave a particular amount to each of their grandkids, though, and for them all to be treated the same.

There is potential here to cause massive permanent upset, not just with your DB and SIL, I’ve whom you sound bitter and jealous, but with your parents, who may feel like disposable cash cows.

Stir it up at your peril.

The way they have done it seems fair. It means booth children get equal money as do all grandchildren. I'm presuming you are annoyed because as a whole your brother's family will get 15k more on the total figure? Would you split your half with your children?, or would it be in inheritance instead at a later date?
What do your parents want?

Are you upset that tour DC share would have come to you to dole out - because you could have chosen to not given it to your DC?

Or that each DGC gets the same amount with this new method, because you and yours would have had a few k extra under the original will?

Is this about the fact that your brother has 4 kids and you have 3 so his family gets more?

You’ll be inheriting over 100k and you want to upset your parents over 13k. You don’t come out of this well at all.

If I were your parents I think I'd leave it all to charity! I can't believe family are organising things to get other peoples' wills re- written. I've no clue how my mum has written her will!

Yes, I expect his DCs would have got less as there are four of them, now they all get the same.
Not too bad an idea really imv. Are the DPs in care homes as that money could seriously dwindle with care costs before it reaches you.

Well see, my parents will is split 50/50 between me and my brother.

Sounds fair - but - I have DC he doesn't. I have spent hours and hours of my time providing care and working part time in order to do this. He visits a few times per year (lives in different city, works FT)

However this is all a moot point because it will all go in care fees anyway (£150,000 so far ..... in last 18 months since it became too much for me)

If anyone tried to put pressure on me to rewrite my will I’d disinherit them.

Seriously money brings out the worst in people, and this trend for believing you should have a say in how someone else’s money should be distributed is incredibly unpleasant.

And it’s even more unpleasant when people start working out how much money there will be and how much individuals stand to inherit.

I’ve told my parents they should spend their money. There is certainly no expectation that they should leave it to me, and while I imagine they will if there is any left, we’ve certainly never discussed how much there is and how it should be divided.

Dear God talk about grabby and entitled.

Wow you are coming across as greedy and grabby! Why should your children and nieces/nephews not benefit just because you had a messy divorce? I agree with PP, people of that age need the help much more with things like rising property, childcare costs etc. Plus you are still getting way more!

When my grandfather died, my dad and his brother got 25% each, the four grandchildren got 12.5% each. This was about £40k each for us grandkids. I suppose you would've thought that was far too much! I put every penny of mine towards my house deposit, and I will forever be grateful to my grandad.

Apples

I would do the same as your parents in their circumstances. I think an even split between children is almost always the fairest way. I don't think just because one child takes on more of the burden of looking after their parents they should be given more inheritance.
I've a couple of siblings who hardly see my parents despite living very close. I'm supportive of my parents decision to split everything fairly. The thought I would be rewarded for being a helpful daughter would be wrong to me.
Also, I don't think people should be rewarded for having more kids than siblings. What if one sibling was unable to have children for some reason - why should they be penalised for it.

I'd do an even split every time unless one child had particular problems such as a disability.

My SF and DSM have given me a copy of their will, in a sealed envelope.
I wouldn't dream of opening it until the time comes. It's none of my business until then.
I'm horrified at the thought of you suggesting to your DP that 'we re-write the will'

But that aside, when you work out the shares, the current will sounds very fair. The DC get equal amounts. The GC get equal amounts. No one is penalised for having more siblings than their cousins have.

You've obviously got a gripe with your SIL, but don't drag your elderly parents into a spat.

Sorry - should read DF not SF.

Personally I’d want my kids to benefit more from any parents will.

I bet they’ve still got mortgages to pay off, kids to bring up, and for some of them it could mean they get on the property ladder. Something that is increasingly hard for younger generations.

Why would you want/need more than the grandkids? Why do you care?

Praps your Parents will need to go into care homes and you'll be left with nothing

When my mum passed away I found clothes she hadn't worn, things she hadn't done, places she hadn't been and loads of things which I know she would have loved to buy. But she was a determined saver. So never really fully enjoyed her life in my opinion and missed out on lads. So now I actively encourage my dad to spend spend spend, but He still has my mums mindset to a certain extent unfortunately 😧. I view my life as I came in with nothing and I'll go out with nothing, I don't expect anyone to give me anything. It's up to me to provide for myself no one else

So you initially expected that each GC would get around £1k - that would get:
Your DC £1k x3
You 9k
Your DB 9k
Your N&N £750x4
Total £24k (initial suggested split)

Now your share has gone up over 10x and everyone benefits more - why are you so unhappy with this?

I know loads of people in their 20s whose parents have had massive inheritances and are just spending it like there's no tomorrow - fancy holidays, designer gear, going out all the time. And they've given their kids who are mostly renting absolutely nothing - £10k could really help to get someone on the housing ladder and set them up for life.
Fine - it's their money.

But your parents obviously want to help the GC and from your posts it seems like you won't be sharing your proportion anyway!

Hiphopopotamous I know of someone like this and I was actually a bit disgusted. A friend and her brother are in their late 30's, no chance of having saved anything for a decent house deposit. Their grandfather died and left a lot of money to their dad, I'm talking £100ks (expensive house in London sold). The dad gave my friend about £15k towards a help to buy deposit, and nothing to the brother as he already had a (small, inexpensive) house. Meanwhile he's swanning around in expensive cars etc. Why wouldn't you want to help your kids, especially when you've got so much?!

@FlipF sorry my post obviously wasn't written very clearly. I was trying to point out that whereas I may think that there could be seen to be inequalities in my parents will it doesn't matter anyway as all if their savings will be gone in care fees.

Therefore the OP could well be wasting her time getting her up over this as it may not be relevant at the end if the day if her parents also have to pay expensive care fees.

They are not dead yet.

If they need to go into a residential care home that £300K approx will be gone before they are.

Their wills their choice.

You're parents want to leave equal amounts to each of their children and then equal amounts to each of their grandchildren.... Honestly, they sound like monsters, how could they think this is fair.

Your personal finances aren't great (guessing your brother and his kids fault) so clearly its fairer if they get less and you get more. Simple really, don't see why you are getting a hard time.