parents Inheritance

[Murphy99]

My parents organised their will back in 1997, when I was still married, I have one brother, we are not close, I have 3 kids, he has 4, they are all in their 20s.

Our solicitor originally drafted the Will on a 50/50 basis between me and my brother, with 25% of our share to go to grandkids. My brothers wife interfered afterwards and mum agreed to change to a third to me and my brother each, and a third to grandkids so they had a larger share of the pot.

At that stage the values werent massive, but mum 7 dad have inherited a significant amount from another source, and I have gone through a nasty divorce and come out with little, both since the original will was drafted.

Originally my mum had envisaged the grandkids, who now are all in late 20s would have about £1k, but on current values this will be in the region of £15k each, and i think its too much.

I have suggested that we need to revise the Will

Any thoufghts would be appreciated

Yabu - your parents have made the decision, they weren't forced and it's their choice
Don't make it something to fall out about

Concentrate on spending quality time with them whilst they are still around

When they do go, I hope all inheritors are grateful for such a life enhancing amount

If you have 3 DC and your DB has 4, with the original will your DC would get a larger share each than DB's DC.

e.g you and DB get £100k each.
Your 3 DC get £25k split 3 ways
DB DC GET £25k split 4 ways

I actually think the 3rd each split is the fairest way. Each grandchild gets the same amount.

How can a will specify that a percentage of the money bequeathed to one person must go to other people?

So you resent that the grandkids are getting some?

Who the hell really cares? It's money that's coming and staying in your family. As long as you all have enough to live off it doesn't sound like something to get upset it. And if you don't have faith in your children/niblings to take some care with the cash, talk to them about their options. If they decide to blow it on a trip or whatever, sure what of it?!

In essence, what you are griping about is that because your brother has 4 kids vs. your 3, a slightly higher proportion of the total is not coming down your side of the family.

If each 'child' is getting around £15k. x7 = £105k. So a total of around £315k.
You want to split that 50:50 and then divide 25% of each share between the kids. This puts you and brother on around £118k each, your kids on £13k and your brother's on just under £10k.

Does that still sound fair and not at all grabby that you increase what you get personally by £13k while reducing almost everyone else's? Why does it seem more fair than the current split?

The new way is the fairer way.

You are rude.

It's not your decision to make. It's your parents and tbh it sounds quite fair to me but the bottom line is that they can do what they want with their money. They can give it all to charity if they want.

When my GP died we the GC inherited the whole estate our parents got nothing. Worked out that at £50k each, no complaints as it helped those that needed the help and it was our GP wishes.

Not the point but did anyone else know there was a “is this normal?” section? I’d no idea!

You'll be called grabby for expecting anything OP. These threads are a disaster usually.

Personally I think the fairest way is to split your estate evenly between your children (unless one has specific needs) and let them take care of the next generation. But it is your parents' choice and given their ages and the money involved (one share of 15K) I just wouldn't bother too much about it all.

I suspect you are actually angry at your parents listening to interfering SIL instead of thinking about your needs.

Well spotted 2019Dancerz

I don't think I've ever seen it before!

You're not arguing about the value.... Except the only thing you're arguing about is the value 🙄 So it was okay when the GC were getting 1k each but now it's 15k it's too much for them and not enough for you.

I think it's fairer the current way. Despite you having three and brother having four kids, they are all equal grandchildren to your parents. I can see why you'd be annoyed with your SIL for interfering with things but that's more of a relationship issue. Also, just because all these grandchildren have houses doesn't mean they won't benefit from a nice little nest egg, they could have huge mortgages that don't allow them to afford holidays, have debts you don't know about, or be hoping to start a family.

Get a grip OP. It’s their money to do as they wish.

My GP have 3 GC in their 30s and 2 who are primary aged (Uncle had his DC in his 50s.) In their will, the younger GC will get more than the older GC, to even up what they’ve spent on us in our childhood/adult years.

My sibs went mental, I actually thought it was very nice of my GP to think of the younger GC in that way. I feel awful that the younger GC won’t have our GPs in their lives as long as we have; they’re amazing people.

This topic is one of the health ones - are you currently concerned for an imminent death?

You "think its too much" and you think it's appropriate "to revise the will".

It's not your will. What do your parents think -it's their decision.

I don't know why you think £15k is too much. And I don't know why you think our recent divorce changes matters.

*your recent divorce (I wasn't your partner!)

£15k in today’s standards isn’t much at all! As others have said if their share has increased then your own will have too.

Don’t say anything.

I'm just hoping my parents and in-laws can pay for their own funerals.

OP I think you are greedy as 15K isn't too much.

The GC, if their GP dropped dead tomorrow, are at an age where they can still use the money to make life changing alterations which will have a great impact on the rest of their lives. I actually know quite a few people who used money inherited from GPs to enable them to change careers e.g. for postgraduate degrees and then for house deposits.

In fact in some cases the GP delibrately disinherited their own children and the money went straight to the GC so you are lucky to get anything.

£15k in your late 20's these days is not a great amount of money. At best it will just about (at a massive push) provide a deposit for a house, which these days is the best thing they can do as it means lower monthly payments to renting and some security for their own children and grandchildren.

Are you annoyed that your DB's side of the family is getting a slightly larger share than you as he has more kids?

The difference to you between the two scenarios is about £13 000. £105 000 vs £118 000. I'm not sure I'd upset your parents over that.

Firstly I think it's none of your business how your parents distribute their wealth after death. I hate it when people assume they should inherit anything at all and as pp have said, should either of your parents require care, the money could all disappear anyway.

The split of a third each to you and your brother and a third between the grandkids sounds fair to me. It doesn't matter if the DHC already have their own houses. No doubt they also have mortgages and a lot more expenses than you do so £15K won't go far. It's really not that much. I don't think you should blame the "interference" entirely on your SIL as I doubt anything happened without the full support of your DB.

My parents ringfenced an amount in their will for the two DGC (there is an amount in ISAs) so they will get £45K each. The remainder of the estate, if there is anything, will go 50/50 to me and my brother. I don't begrudge the kids getting this amount of money as it will benefit them as they buy homes/have kids etc. You and your DB should keep out of it and stop giving your DPs unsolicited advice on their will.

However, your children would get about £13 000, and your nieces/nephews only £10 000.