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Original poster

Health anxiety

41 replies

Clastegra · 28/01/2019 09:30

Does anyone else have a symptom of the big C n instantly diagnose themselves, even though my symptom could be lots of other things all I focus on is cancer, oh how I hate being like this.

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Hotpinkangel19 · 28/01/2019 09:43

Yes. This is 100% me. It's horrible. Are you okay?

Original poster
Clastegra · 28/01/2019 09:54

I'm just waiting on tests which seems to take forever, I've had microscopic haematuria and done loads of research in it and it states many causes but I seem to just focus on it being cancer, i look at other people who are 'normal' n so wish I could be like them. 😢

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Hotpinkangel19 · 28/01/2019 10:52

Completely feel the same, are you on any meds for your health anxiety?

Original poster
Clastegra · 28/01/2019 11:13

I'm not at the moment, I was on sertraline a few years ago but was weaned off them and was fine for a couple of years, but now my ha is back, I'm begining to wonder if there is a cure for it or if I'm stuck being a complete wreck for life :(

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Original poster
Clastegra · 28/01/2019 17:27

I hate the waiting for tests and results, feels like life is on hold. Can't smile or enjoy anything 😥

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grumblina · 28/01/2019 22:06

I am also exactly like this. It’s absolutely draining. I’ve been at the docs 3 times this week it’s really affecting my life at the moment

everycloud30 · 29/01/2019 05:18

Me too. There's something wrong with me everyday.

grumblina · 29/01/2019 21:49

That’s me finished watching neighbours now. Absolutely sent a chill down my spine

Original poster
Clastegra · 29/01/2019 22:13

Everywhere you look there is someone with cancer or some other scary disease that reminds us of our fears , Facebook, news, billboards , newspapers etc I feel like wearing a blindfold constantly 😪

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Applecrumble79 · 03/02/2019 07:38

Totally see with you! I am the same. I had a terrible thing happen to me 4 years ago and that’s when I first got anxiety.
I had some cbt and felt better. Now I’m having another cancer scare and I can’t think about anything else. I seem to cheer up when I’m around others but when I’m on my own I’m petrified. Not eating or sleepig. Waiting for a scan appointment. Every advert seems to be about cancer and my heart starts beating.
@clasregra are you awaiting tests?

FriedaTheBreeder · 03/02/2019 07:43

@AppleCrumble79 that’s really interesting what you say about being with others. Although I’m quite an introvert I find I feel so much better when with others, I stop symptom spotting and obsessing, I stop feeling sick and then the moment I’m alone it all starts again. I’m not allowing myself to be alone too much at the moment. I’be had health anxiety on and off all my life, it tends to peak, I get help, im fine for three or four years, I hit a difficult patch in life, the anxiety starts to build, and off we go again.

Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 08:02

@applecrumble79 yes I have scans on Tuesday re looking for kidney and bladder cancer as had microscopic haematuria. Private urologist I saw yesterday was very hard, gave me no reassurance at all, said 20% find something but 80% don't. I tried to reassure myself by saying I've read age , sex, smoking etc increases my risk n all he said was the body isn't a textbook and that he was seeing a 23 yr old with it. I went to pieces, thank goodness my hubby was with me.

I'm the same as you, can't stand being alone, I follow my hubby around like sheep, he's very good with me, if we're sat down I hold onto him, like a child with a comfort blanket. I'm really struggling at the moment, I used to love life, be happy n smiley, but currently constant crying, nauseaus, shaking etc.
It's horrible isn't it. I dress waking up as I already know it's going to be a long emotional day for me. Xx

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Applecrumble79 · 03/02/2019 08:32

Yes @ FreidaTheBreeder, It’s a terrible cycle. I hope one day I can learn to deal with life events more positively it’s not as easy though.
Clastegra I hope your tests go well.
I’m going to Portugal next weekend but awaiting a scan appointment that my GP put through as urgent. It’s totally ruined the excitement for my trip. I just want to stay in bed.x

Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 09:18

Do you have a date for your scan ?
Health anxiety ruins everything for me.
Life n life's plans just stop untill I can get tests scans etc and if ok I move on til the next tiny symptom of something else n then I'm back to being in this state again.
Life is really difficult for me ATM, every minute seems like an hour and im very envious of people who don't suffer with this.
Hearing people moan about going to work or having to go shopping irritates me, let them live with the fear they have cancer 24/7 I think to myself.

I'm very frightened for the scans. X

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Applecrumble79 · 03/02/2019 09:46

Yes I totally agree with what you say. It only takes one health scare and you’re Back In the anxiety cycle. Tests only satisfy me temporarily because not long after, a new symptom will appear and set me off again. I feel like I’m just existing at the moment. No quality of life and no fun. Just getting by day by day.
I am waiting for a scan due to a high ca125 blood test for ovarian cancer. I have fibroids and always have ovarian cysts. I had vaginal and ultrasound scan in June 18 because I had a fibroid removed. I had the same scans the previous year. I’m hoping the raise is due to fibroids and cyst. It’s the waiting that’s driving my crazy. Dreading going to work tomorrow because I can’t concentrate.

Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 14:07

I'm sorry you're going through this. I had my fibroids our a year ago.

I've had to cancel work as I'm not mentally right atm thanks to health anxiety.

Convinced I've got kidney cancer or bladder cancer. Just so tired of living with this mental burden.

Do you have a scan date?
Google is vile, I need to stay off it.

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Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 17:17

@applecrumble79 how are you? I'm very scared re my scan on Tuesday. Trying to take it minute by minute at the moment. How are you?

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Applecrumble79 · 03/02/2019 18:06

I can imagine the nerves and stress you are feeling. Try and keep busy. I know it’s hard. I will be the same when it’s my turn. I haven’t got a date yet. GP only told me about this on Friday so hopefully in the next 2 weeks. I keep drifting in and out of positivity and sheer panic. I’m sure I’ve been googling all weekend. You’re right, we really need to stay off it as it’s making the anxiety worse. Decided to have a Chinese tonight to cheer myself up a little bit. Good luck for Tuesday. Message me whenever you need to xx

Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 18:40

@applecrumble79 please message me also if you need too. I have tried to take my mind off it but it's so difficult to do.

I hope your appointment comes through quick for you, it's mental torture waiting.
Do you have someone with you ?
Since googling I've now noticed a few more symptoms but unsure if they are in my head after reading about them.
I'm not sure how I could cope with a cancer diagnosis.

Enjoy your Chinese, I hope it cheers you up. X

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Applecrumble79 · 03/02/2019 19:16

Awww thank you. Either my mum or partner will come. Then I will have more torture waiting for results as it depends how nice the radiographer is and willing to share findings.
Google definitely makes you imagine more symthoms. I totally agree, you somehow don’t know what’s fake from reality. Hopefully your scan will be ok and you can put this behind you. Have you got someone to go with you?

Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 19:51

Yes my husband will come with me, I couldn't go on my own. I've not spoke to my mum or dad for almost a year after a family argument but my anxiety was so awful last night I messaged them saying I need my mom n dad and they met me today for hugs. My mom said well Clare you look alright, if only I felt right, my dad said lost a bit of weight haven't you, instant panic again. It's horrific is this anxiety. :(

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Applecrumble79 · 03/02/2019 20:47

That’s nice. It’s really nice to be around people when the anxiety starts.
You made me smile about the weight comment, not disrespectfully. It seems to set my anxiety off too when someone says I look slimmer I start to panic and start stuffing my face just to see if i can put the weight back on. In my mind I think if I don’t put it back on I’ve got C. Terrible terrible anxiety. The mind tricks. Sad

Original poster
Clastegra · 03/02/2019 21:26

I diet to lose weight, n when I do I panicking I have the c, I told my hubby this, he just said you're nuts Clare, n the annoying thing is he's right. Sometimes logic sets it n for ⅝ths of a second I'm normal, but oh how my mind darent let me enjoy it for long. I desperate want these tests, test day comes n I'll be horrific with anxiety. I find myself convincing myself Ive got c just incase I have. I need a brain transplant but no doubt I'd be anxious about that 🙄

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Sarha · 04/02/2019 20:25

Hi guysi suffer health anxiety too. Im so envious of others. I was told i have cervical ectropion and hpv and ive gone crazy with the researching on internet. Constantly going doctors. They saud not to worry but i cant stop. I keep thinking im going to get cervical cancer. Xx

Original poster
Clastegra · 04/02/2019 20:59

There's a lot about cervical cancer in the news at the moment n that must make it harder for you, is this a recent diagnosis for you, are you having more frequent smears ? X

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