Pretty sure I have a melanoma (skin cancer)

[Shadow1986]

Unfortunately, in my teens and early twenties I was a sun worshipper and a regular user of sunbeds. My natural skin is very pale. I got to the age where I was single and going out a lot and I felt better about myself with a tan. I know I was very stupid. I then had children mid twenties and became a lot more sensible, stopped the sunbeds and other than holidays and sitting out in the garden every now and then I was better. Now in my thirties and though I do still like to sunbathe a bit on holiday I use a high factor as these days I’m more bothered about wrinkles than getting a tan! But i think the damage has already been done.

I have a mole on my thigh, it’s always stood out to me as it’s so dark it’s almost black. It’s not been there my whole life but it has been there a long time. I had it checked almost 4 years ago, at the time they said it was 3mm and looked ok, and to keep an eye on it. Then last year in 2018 I noticed it looked quite dry and scaley and maybe bigger so I went back again. Had a few different GP’s look, referred to a dermatologist - dermatologist agreed with me ‘it’s not right. It needs to come off for a biopsy’

I now have 3 weeks to wait for the biopsy, then two week wait for the results.

Last night I trawled through my old phone and found a pic of my mole from the time I had it checked and it’s only now I see it actually has changed quite a lot. Im not pretty certain it’s a melanoma.

Not sure why I’m posting. DH just dismisses me every time I mention it saying no point talking about it till we know. I get that but I’m so worried. And more than anything I feel so fucking stupid knowing it’s my fault.

Mole in 2015

I think you should maybe take a little comfort from the fact you aren't getting it removed for three weeks. When I had a mole on my back my dermatologist wanted removed and biopsied, I waited 3 weeks for removal. However he had an option on the referral form (to the biopsy nurse) to get it removed immediately/within the week. I took comfort from this. And the results came back absolutely fine.
I know it's easy for me to say but try not to worry.
Not sure if you already do this but I am now seen every 6 months by my dermatologist and he checks every mole on my body against photographs. I initially paid for this privately (£120 per appointment) but he now sees me on the NHS.

Mole now - although more zoomed in so size difference probably isn’t as much as they appear in photos. It’s now 5mm

Now

I had a suspicious mole removed from my lower back last year. The consultant really didn't like the look of it. I was shitting myself. Anyway, the results came back as completely normal. Don't give yourself melanoma until the results are in.

If it helps my mum was having physio at hospital when the physio said "I don't like the look of that mole"
They removed it that day, it was melanoma. That's it, they removed the borders, no further treatment and nothing since

Wellheothere101 - I’m glad your results were all fine. And I agree I’m definitely taking some comfort in the fact it’s not for 3 weeks. I was doing much better until I found the old photo. Did you hear back quite quickly for the results?

Hazelnutpie - glad yours was all well too. I think I have always had a feeling of dread that my day would come due to my stupidity of using so many sunbeds so I think that’s why I’m so certain. I’ve always thought it doesn’t look right. It’s just rubbish waiting isn’t it. You’ve given me some positivity though thank you.

I was given a telephone appointment for four weeks after my surgery, to get the results. Four sodding weeks! Anyway, I was at my GPs for something else after two weeks and the results were there on the computer.

Ollivander84 - I’ve heard so many similar stories about people having it on their backs and being spotted by someone else. So lucky. That’s also given me some positivity as even if it is - then it’s not always the end of the world. And I do feel very lucky of where it is as so many people have it on their noses/faces and have to go through these biopsies and get scars etc. Glad your mum was ok.

Hazelnutpie - 4 weeks?!! How agonising, glad you got them sooner. She said mine will be two weeks. I’ll just have to keep busy!

I've had more than one mole removed that had changed and were darkened, raised and misshapen, none turned out to be melanoma.
Don't worry too much until you need to.
Even if it is a melanoma, most can be very successfully removed with no further treatment needed.

Thanks Chewbecca - it’s my history with sunbeds that’s escalating my anxiety I think. Glad yours were all fine. I’ll try and stay a bit more positive.

I think I had to wait about 3 or 4 weeks for my result. I got the result by letter. I also went on holiday to Tenerife before my biopsy so I was in the shade most of the time!
My husband had a similar experience but he is such a worrier he paid to have the mole removed privately which he got done a few days later by the dermatologist. It cost about £800 so I guess if that's an option for you you could think about it. Personally I didn't think it was worth that amount of money to save a couple of weeks' wait. His results were normal too and they took about 3 or 4 weeks so no benefit to going private.

Wellhellothere101 I actually spoke to my private healthcare today and I don’t think it would be any quicker by the sounds of it so I’ll carry on as I am. I would have liked it removed sooner than 3 weeks but it’s been there so long another 3 weeks won’t make a difference. Just need to try put it to the back of my mind.

I have dozens of moles, so every few years I find another one I need checking out (I have so many I can't remember if they've changed or not). Touch wood, but they've been fine every time, including the ones I've had biopsied. I have at least 2, maybe 3 that look very very similar to yours, both have been checked and are fine.

Thanks chocoholic that’s reassuring to hear.

OP I know someone who has had multiple melanomas removed and is still fine, 10+ years later. Even if it is an MM there is Hope xx

Thank you ChiaraRimini - if it is I know I’ll be ok and deal with it I’m just feeling stupid but at least it’s been a good wake up call.

I had this and it was removed quickly with no further treatment. I know how worried you feel as I was a bit of a mess. It's the waiting and not knowing. I hope you get it sorted quickly.

Thank you Lelleybells - glad yours was OK! Yes you’re right it’s just a horrible wait.

Hi OP I know how this feels. I would try not to worry - most turn out not to be anything to worry about. It doesn't sound like it's grown very fast so could just be a natural change as you age.
I have had three things removed and biopsied. Each time I convinced myself it was the dreaded C. Looking at pictures, googling pictures, I got myself into a stare. Each time the results came back as normal.
I also have a mole at the back of my eye. Found by the optician during my first visit in ten years. He faxed the hospital for an emergency app whilst I was still in his room. I was in a right state! I went private. Turns out it's nothing to worry about. I was so anxious about it I have had to see two different specialists and have a new (very experienced) optician to reassure me that's it's all fine. After three different reassurances and a couple of years later I feel a bit more relaxed about it!
Good luck

I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma this time last year, I had it removed the same day I saw the dermatologist ( she didn't like the look of it at all), results a week later then I had a much larger area removed 2 weeks later.

Luckily it was very thin so I didn't need any further treatment but have been for a mole check every 3 months since

Dontknowwhattodo80 - So glad you’re OK. Thanks for the positive story. I hope you continue to be ok and sounds like they are taking great care of you.

Habadabadoo - thanks for the positive stories. I’m feeling a lot more positive this evening now.