CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 65 - for anyone with cancer or waiting for cancer tests (pets welcome!)

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Good morning everyone,

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here.

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then you can get support here.

Please feel free to reintroduce yourself so we don't all have to remember from the previous thread!

Yeah I’m really wise. Said no one ever

I actually find I’ve culled (I am in a bad mood as anyone on the AIBU thread about fighting may have noticed! I’m sure I’d use a nicer word otherwise...) a few friends who I found were just not helping at all. Mostly people who wanted to see me a lot (sounds nice but I am one of those people who enjoys some time alone) and ask lots of intrusive questions. I feel moderately guilty but I have really limited energy and free time and I want to spend it with people I love.

Hello, is there room for me? Do you mind if I hang around with you for a bit? I am sorry for everything you are all having to deal with.

I went for my first screening mammogram at the end of August and have been called back for additional checks. The waiting is really driving me nuts. My appointment is next Friday so at least an end is in sight.

I have lumpy breasts anyway but after I got the letter advising me that they need to do a diagnostic mammo and ultrasound I had a good check of them. Sure enough I found a lump in my right breast that doesn't match up with the left one. This one feels sizeable with also what feels like grit on top of the lump but right under the surface of my skin. I don't know if this could just be a cyst or what?

I haven't told anyone in RL. My DH doesn't even know I went for the screening let alone that I have been recalled. His father has just died and he's going through a very stressful time at work so I really didn't want to add to the pressure. It feels a relief to tell you about it here though.

TQ sorry your friend is being such a knob. I'm with the others - only see her if she'll make you feel better, otherwise don't even bother.

Hi Lunen sorry to hear about your situation. I'm afraid I don't know anything about mammograms or breast cysts/tumors/etc so can't offer any knowledge or advice on that. I do know that waiting for results is beyond awful though, so I sympathize. If you have someone you can talk to about it, who will understand and not dismiss your fears, talk to them.

Hope everyone else is well. Sorry to hear about the manky toes!

Welcome Lunen hopefully you will get some good news on Friday. Sorry, I don't know anything about breast lumps either. I know your husband is having a tough time, but do you think hit might be worth at least telling him you are having some tests? You could play it down a bit. But otherwise if it does turn out to be cancer then it would be a complete shock to him on Friday, while you've had a little while to prepare yourself a bit. Also I'm sure he would want to support you

Bleurgh everything tastes funny. This is no surprise. It happens every cycle. I am still grumpy about it

Good morning lacies

@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo sorry you've got the horrid taste thing. Does it just last for a few days? Can you eat copious amounts of chocolate or the like to cover it up?
I've been following the feet thread. Mine aren't manky yet but I bought some fit flop loafers and they are pretty and practical! Going to paint my nails this weekend before (fingers crossed) chemo on Tuesday.
@Lunen I was diagnosed at the end of July with breast cancer. I also nearly didn't tell my DH as I didn't want him worrying but I'm glad I did as he then asked me to tell my BF who again I didn't want to bother but I'm so glad I did as she came to me to the appointment when I was diagnosed and was and is amazing support. This in itself has made it much easier for my DH. Also if it isn't anything horrid you both have an excuse to go and do something nice.
@TwitterQueen1 as suggested grab the wine, tell said "friend" you'll call when your tastebuds have come back! Or you could request she brings a takeaway with it too!
@Namechangeforthiscancershit I had a quick read of the fighting thread and couldn't continue else I'd end up fighting! I totally agree with you non of us have the choice to fight or not it's just the life we are now living.
@purpleunicorns and @Pandoraslastchance how are you both doing?
It's our wedding anniversary on Sunday so we're attempting an early meal out on Saturday since I've had a bonus week due to cancelled chemo.
Someone has suggested I could ask for injections to help with my blood count? I think I'll get this after my next round but does anyone have them?
Waves all around.

Lunen of course we have room for you lovely the waiting and the not knowing is absolutely awful. My boobs are one of the few bits of me currently behaving but there will be people who know more. Waiting, worrying and not wanting to worry others though I totally get!

TQ you ANBU, people seem to try and make themselves feel better by assuming you want company and they feel they're doing their "bit" by popping round without bothering to check if your up for visitors. I definitely second Leslie's suggested of taking the wine of her

If you want to see her than that's fine but don't waste time on being polite to people because it's the done thing. I don't really bother with anybody apart from family now, and you lovely bunch of course! It may change if I ever start feeling human again but for now I'm happy not having to deal with people. Let us know how you get on with the palliative care team, they asked me to speak to them but I don't think I can do it without being a sobbing mess

Waves to Lunen, hopefully you won't need to be here for long

Happy anniversary for Sunday Ranout! How long have you been married for? I'm feeling slightly better thanks although I have the horrible mouth taste like Leslie

Namechange I've started hiding threads on here and deleting people from Facebook who keep banging on about "fighting" cancer we take whatever drugs they throw at us and hope for the best

If anyone's on Facebook and wants to be friends feel free to PM me. I promise no fighting cancer talk

Purple you're right. They're doing it to make themselves feel better without bothering to ask if it's OK with me... I don't know how to make the call to the palliative team without collapsing into a sobbing mess either but I'm finding the nights hard. Will PM you re FB - and anyone else who wants to be friends

Thanks everyone for advice re 'friend' - I've just told her I'm busy and left it at that.

Lunen sorry you're here, but welcome. I understand you not wanting to tell anyone. I too prefer to keep things to myself until I've processed them. I'm single, but a married friend also didn't tell her DH for a little while. Tell him when you're ready.

NameChange and Ranout I made the mistake of posting on that thread again and have now well and truly flounced off. It's made me fucking furious - or rather one particular patronising idiot has... Happy Anniversary Ranout!

I am feeling much better today. I had a lovely long sleep until 9.50am!

Aha! Must've been all the fighting that tired you out for you to have had such a good sleep TQ
Just read that thread...I really do loathe AIBU sometimes, but it's like driving past a car accident on the motorway - almost impossible to just have a peek

Gooood morning

I had to look for the thread after you'd all mentioned it

purple and TQ I'm sure the palliative care teams will be completely prepared for any sobbing. It must be quite common in their jobs! But actually I've always ended up laughing whenever I talk to them :) maybe I'm a weirdo.

ranout glad you've been able to fit in an anniversary meal

I hope everyone's having a good day so far. I've been to the supermarket so now I'm lazing about!

She's just turned up again (in the middle of my lunch)
+. She asked if I was receiving visitors. I said no, and that I was having a hard time at the moment. I've also texted her and said she hadn't rung or texted for months and then she turns up expecting me to be available and wanting to talk. I told her it's really intrusive and she needs to ring first.

I do feel better for doing it

Good for you TQ. She sounds like a drama vulture.

Hello Lunen. I had fibroids for years before the Bad Lump appeared. Most lumps are checked to be on the safe side and turn out not to be anything. But the NHS is brilliant with breasts if it is anything.

I swam 2km in the pool today. I'm starting to train for a 4km sea swim next summer.

TQ well done for being so honest with her.

Minnie that's fantastic!

Where are you going for your meal Ranout?

Hmm after one difficult conversation I thought I'd brave another one and rang the palliative care team. Not reassured at all. When they finally found me on the system the woman I spoke to kept bleating platitudes about how they wouldn't put me on chemo if they weren't expecting good results. And then said she'd 'see if could find a quiet room' off the main hospital reception area....

how do these twits get into cancer care? Sorry it wasn't a helpful conversation TQ. I hope the others in the team are better.

Thanks Leslie. DBro suggested it (he's done it) and feels like the perfect challenge for me.

Well done @TwitterQueen1 I hope the rest of the team are a bit more helpful, we'll a bit more everything really. Good for saying your piece to your "friend" it's interesting who is actually supportive and who's a drama llama in these situations.
@Minniemountain swimming sounds great. It's on my list once the picc line is out in many many moons to come! I'm missing the gym but am learning I must rest and listen to my body for once.
We're off for a Thai, one of my favourites. Funny though as I don't think we've ever been out for a meal on our anniversary and this year we'll be eating early as I'm usually in bed for 8ish! It will be nice to have some time with my DH though as I sometimes forget it must be pretty shit for him.
It's my son's 5th birthday next Thursday as well so it's all go in the ranout household!
Have a good evening lacies.

TQ well done for being so forthright with your friend!! And sorry about that crap on AIBU - I reported that cowbag for bullying posts towards you. The bitch.

I'm knackered today. Went to uni to get as much done as possible because I'm going to be out of commission for a while after surgery next week. Ended up spending half the day laughing with classmates and my tutors, and didn't get as much done as I planned. which was lovely really.

Hope everyone has a good evening. X

Tahiti a day laughing and feeling slightly normal will have done you way more good than getting ahead on coursework I reckon!

Thank you Tahiti not sure why I was such a baddie there!

Morning all, just thought I’d check in. Had my first chemo yesterday and stayed in hospital overnight just as it was the first. All was ok - actually having the port fitted beforehand was probably the worst as the doctor who did it looked at me so gravely like he’d given me 24hrs to live or something that I just burst out crying. I went into surgery in tears so they just gave me lots of sedatives which helped. Cold cap was ok (esp after all the sedation) then had a relaxing evening with no children fighting me for the tv! All ok today just tired. I had a little nausea when hungry but ok after food - I guess fasting is not going to work for me then!

Hope everyone has a lovely day. You were def NBU TQ - great response to the friend.

Welcome lunen - although hopefully you won’t need to be here long. I’ve recently been diagnosed with bc and still haven’t told many people. Do what feels right for you. Waiting is the hardest part. Fingers crossed your tests are clear but worst case I’m happy to answer any questions

Enjoy your meal ranout I also have a 5th birthday party to organise for January.

Good morning

Simmi I'm glad it all went relatively smoothly - at least the port-fitting is a one-off so hopefully you wont need to see Dr Gloomy again and having a port makes it all so much easier, so definitely worth it I promise :) the cold caps don't look fun at all so well done for making it through. I find eating helps my nausea too, especially strong flavours and salty things. I hope the side effects are not too bad

Tahiti that sounds like just the thing. I know it's terribly cheesy, but laughter really is a good medicine unless you're recovering from abdominal surgery well done on trying to prepare for uni stuff too, even if you didn't get it all done.

ranout enjoy your Thai :) excellent choice. And I'm sure it'll be nice for you both to have some time together.

Waving to everyone. We have 20-something people coming for lunch so I must start getting organised. What was I thinking?!

Well done for getting through the first one Simmi, it's always the worst as you're not sure what to expect. It gets much easier from now

Wow Leslie I don't think I could fit 20 people in my house let alone cook for them hope you have a lovely day with lots of lovely food

I think the chemo fog is finally starting to lift. I have a scan the end of the month so hopefully it's doing its job

Flipping heck Leslie! 20 people?! Is it someone's birthday? I assume the menu is pizza followed by ice cream . Have a lovely time - don't wear yourself out.

Friend clearly isn't listening. She's apologised for not being a good friend but has invited herself round on Wednesday and says she'll ring before she comes. So I haven't got my point across at all. I'm just going to tell her Wed isn't convenient for me and suggest meeting in town at the weekend instead.