CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 65 - for anyone with cancer or waiting for cancer tests (pets welcome!)

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Good morning everyone,

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here.

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then you can get support here.

Please feel free to reintroduce yourself so we don't all have to remember from the previous thread!

Simmi it's Tuesday night here so probably already Wednesday for you. Good luck

So according to my genetics counselling It’s triple negative grade 3 breast cancer.

CT scan & MRI done today to ascertain what stage etc

I'm now sitting wondering if I should contact my biological mother as they want to start piecing together my medical history. Having not contacted her previously it's hardly the best opener is it!?!

Thanks Leslie. Appointment went as well as can be expected I suppose. My tumor is apparently 6-8cm so massive! Oncologist still very hopeful on outcome though which is good. I’m starting off on AC chemo which I think is pretty harsh.

Oh keepcalm mine is also grade 3. Are they asking you to contact your biological mother? How do you feel about contacting her?

I’m pretty terrified of this whole process to be honest and keep asking myself what I could have done differently to have avoided this. I’ve always been pretty healthy and excercised etc but do enjoy a glass or two of red wine . I was alerted to something odd when my nipple went in but in all honestly the swelling had probably been there a while and I just ignored it and confused it with period swelling. I’m kicking myself now that my lack of awareness may now kill me 😥.

Oh Simmi you need to stop thinking like that! We all have at some point but there's absolutely nothing else you can do now. You've done all you can by getting it seen to. It's so so treatable now and if your oncologist is hopeful that's a good sign

Yes you’re right purple - thank you . Are you feeling better now?

@Simmi1 mines large too 5cm x 5cm. Honestly once you get going in treatment you'll be fine. It's all the waiting around that doesn't help. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it, if there was none of us would have it.

@Simmi1 please stop

I'm the same and presumed sore breast was monthly cycle related.

I've decided to stop wasting energy beating myself and worrying about what could have been and putting that energy to good use being positive.

We can do this together will the support of all the fabulous ladies on here.

I've decided to stop wasting energy beating myself and worrying about what could have been and putting that energy to good use being positive

Absolutely. I think it’s natural to be really hard on ourselves and think what if I had done this or pushed harder for a diagnosis or skipped the wine but what no one really wants to say is that so much of the time cancer is just really bad luck and the only thing we can do is pour all our energy into getting rid of it. I’m not always good with that though, I’m a very WHY THOUGH person especially when I think it’s something I’ve done wrong.

Hope everyone has the best day they can. It’s suddenly gone cold here so my already freezing feet are not happy at all!

Thank you ladies - your wise words have made me feel a lot better. We will do this together. Hope you have a wonderful day

As a follow on question, did any of you adopt dietary changes following diagnosis generally or through chemo specifically and in particular have any thoughts on the theory of fasting through chemo?

There are things I have to not eat because my bowel is (part of) the problem but that won’t apply to you, and obviously I (mostly) follow the chemo infection risk stuff of no runny eggs, sushi etc (except when I forget) but that’s it for me. There is definitely someone on here who’s done the fasting thing but my brain can’t dredge it up!

I need to loose weight. As always. I'll be making more of a concerted effort.

That MRI scan indignity was enough of a reason alone so I'll be changing diet @Simmi1

Still pretty rubbish, I'm not normally this bad until Thursday/Friday but I should pick up by Saturday with a bit of luck. There was someone on here who fasted but I eat when I want as my appetite is pretty rubbish at the minute anyway. It might be worth asking your chemo nurse about fasting

Hope you enjoyed you choir Leslie and you're not not feeling too bad today I've managed to start my Xmas shopping, I'm just hoping my DH is in when it gets delivered so I don't have to leave the couch to answer the door

@Simmi1 I've had 2 rounds of chemo so far and sort of fasted. I've basically really reduced my calories. I'm not sure if it works in reducing the tumour as mine has only reduced a little, however I haven't had any sickness. I have my last meal on the Sunday night then Monday a tin of veg soup in the evening, Tuesday chemo and a banana on the evening then Wednesday evening a proper meal or salmon, broccoli and potatoes.
I think you just need to do what works for you. I suppose it helps me feel as if I'm in control a little bit. However I would stop if I felt I needed to eat if it was affecting my treatment or if they thought I'd lost too much weight.
The only downside I've had is that I started fasting on Monday then my chemo was cancelled this time! Cheered myself up yesterday lunch by scoffing a mince pie!
Hope that helps a little

@purpleunicorns I'm just after telling DH we're rattling through the Christmas shopping the minute we're back as if all goes to plans one of my chemo sessions will be on 20th Dec and we have three DCs that deserve a good Christmas regardless.

That's the pup away. She was 16.5yrs and I think my heart just broke. Wee pudding.

Hi everyone

Re diet - I recently picked up The Royal Marsden Cancer Cookbook (It’s not the cheeriest title is it? To the point I suppose). I’d seen other books such as The Anti-Cancer Diet (Bit bloody late for that!) and titles suggesting that Keto or Paleo diets are the way to go. I’ve had enough change without now having to deny myself the foods I like. Especially as I don’t have much appetite anyway. Plus, like NameChange and Leslie, I have a stoma so some foods are off the menu as they cause a blockage (Can I just take this opportunity to say, girls, stay the fuck away from bean sprouts! Oh the blockage pain! Like labour but without some gas and air to look forward to!)

I just wanted to know what foods to eat to help up my energy levels and that were nutritious but also what to have when I just can’t face food but have to have something because some tablets have to be taken with or after food.

This book is lovely. Lots of information re nutrition, vitamins, what to eat when you’re nauseous, meals to have while you’re having chemo, etc.
Also it’s printed on that lovely thick matt parchment type paper that’s so tactile you want to stroke every page (That might be just me though).

Have taken a photo of the cover in case anyone wants to look out for it (It’s on Amazon though) and also a couple of photos of recipes that I’m looking forward to trying.

so sorry KeepCalm. Here is my lovely Lucky. It's just awful.

Purple I hope you're picking up a bit - same for you too Leslie.

Simmi The cancer ad about obesity keeps cropping up on my FB feed - it makes me effing furious. The very last thing people with cancer need to be told is that it's their fault. Just in case we're not suffering enough.

Ooh Aimless I’ll definitely look for that! Thank you.

Keepcalm I am so sorry. Such a beautiful girl. After 16 years of love and loyalty you have to be kind to them and let them go but bloody hell it hurts.

Oh Keepcalm I know your heart is breaking but you've done it out of love for her and what an amazing life I bet she's had with you

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lack of posts. Since my Mum went home I have been running around loads with the girls and then collapsing in a heap. I felt so tired last night I missed Bake Off as had to go to bed at 8pm!

Sorry to hear about your pup keepcalm she looked gorgeous and TQ your Lucky did too. I do love a spaniel and still miss my American Cocker who died at the end of 2014. Hence why I went for a totally different dog with my current scruff bag as didn't think I would find another like Lenny. It took 3 years before I could bring another one home.

I hope your adhesions are improving Lesley and you were able to get stronger patches. That is rubbish you are feeling so grotty already purple I hope this means you don't feel as bad Thurs/Fri as a result.

I am enjoying a bit more freedom with 3 weekly chemo and have a friend flying down from Glasgow for a few nights from 2mo. It is so nice to have a week or so of feeling quite normal (albeit shattered) so am looking forward to that before chemo next week
Just realised I need to do the school run again! Will post again later x

So so sorry KeepCalm

She was a beautiful girl. You gave her a wonderful long life and the kindest ending anyone could hope for.

With love x x

Sorry about your beautiful pup keepcalm It must be so hard to say goodbye.

Simmi I'm also wishing I didn't discount symptoms as well. But what can I do about it now? Bugger all. Try not to beat yourself up.
I bought a "one tray" vegetarian recipe book today. I've been veggie for almost a year but I still don't really know what to cook so I think it's about time I eat more nutritious food, if can't hurt, right? I need to lose a shit load of weight, I really wish I'd sorted it out before all this cancer shit.

I got the date for my op - next Tuesday. I had my pre-op assessment today and I asked if I would get toast afterwards . And apparently I would, if I wasn't getting my neck operated on. No hospital toast for me - I'll be having mush and liquids for a while. They said chewing and swallowing will be v difficult afterwards.
So pleased to have a date for the op, can't wait to get this cut out! It's probably all in my head, but it feels like it gets a bit bigger every day, and sleeping or getting comfortable is getting really difficult now. Though I know I'm fortunate that I'm not really feeling ill at the mo, other than the giant neck lumps and being really tired all the time. It could be worse.

Hope everyone is having as good a day as possible X

I'm really sorry KeepCalm but well done for making such a difficult decision. It's the kindest thing, rather than keeping them alive for our benefit when they are suffering were you able to be with her? Also quite a bombshell about possibly contacting your birth mother. Did they offer any support with that?! It's a big thing to ask of someone. Maybe they could contact her on your behalf to discuss the cancer, so that you don't have to be in contact if you don't want to.

Aimlessly I hate beansprouts anyway. I've never understood the point of them. So I'm glad to have an official excuse to avoid them. Also celery. I also tell people I can't eat olives I just hate them so much and I feel like there have to be a few benefits to this situation!

Tahiti that sucks about the toast! I love that you actually asked good that you've got a date lined up. Do you know how long you will be in? Let us know if you need advice on packing your hospital bag - between us we are pretty good at it now! I'm a lifelong vegetarian so happy to advise if you need any help with recipes for your recovery. I was on a low fibre diet for quite a while after my bowel op. Not quite the same, but there is probably a lot of overlap!

noodles sorry you've been so exhausted. Try to rest a bit more if you can as your body can't recover otherwise enjoy your time with your friend.

purple choir was good thanks :) I'm not that keen on any of the songs we have done so far this term, but it's just nice to get out and do something! You're organised early you need one of those video doorbells so you can tell the postman where to leave the parcels without having to get out of your chair...

TQ Lucky looks very wise :)

Simmi a hopeful oncologist is always a good sign! :) mine was convinced from the very start that might would come back, and sadly he was right. Grade 3 tumours tend to respond very well to chemo. None of this is your fault. It's just bad luck

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself as I had to cancel some nice plans for the evening because my adhesions randomly flared up again. I was just walking into my bedroom and threw up with no warning. At least I had a sick bucket in there! (I know some MNers are really anti-sick buckets, but I'm very well acquainted with mine...) at least it happened at home though and not at the theatre fluids only for a bit I think. I've been approved for chemo tomorrow, but I will see how I feel in the morning.

That is rubbish Lesley to be missing a planned night at the theatre thanks to your adhesions. You are fully entitled to feel sorry for yourself. Rest up & hopefully you will be fit for the chemo 2mo.
Your day at Woolly hugs with TQ sounds good. Glad you had fun.

Sad to say, but I think I am joining the manky toe club! I had to put flip flops on today as one toe on each foot is very sore. It is since I have worn regular shoes rather than my flip flops which I lived in over the summer. I may need to get some woolly ugg boots that won't rub when the weather gets too cold for flip flops, or find something else that doesn't put too much pressure on my toes. Any suggestions?

Simmi I asked my chemo nurse about fasting as had heard about the 5:2 diet being good to help boost your body to make it a place cancer cannot thrive. Plus the added bonus of losing a bit of weight too as I say I am a size 14/16 but I def lean more towards a 16 than a 14. My nurse is great and basically didn't advise to fast (although I know other people have had success with fasting to avoid side effects) she said to eat what I fancied and to make sure I ate and drank lots as it will flush the chemo through my system quicker. Probably worth asking your consultant. I have eaten fairly healthily apart from when Mum & Dad went to the chippy & got me chips & I fried an egg to go with them! Also my iron levels are dropping slightly with each chemo, so I have had lots of kale & a couple of beef stir fries.

Tahiti glad you have a date for surgery. I'm sure you will feel happier once it has been removed and you are not constantly feeling it to see if it has grown. I have a really good veggie cookbook, it is a Hugh Fearnley one - I think it is called River Cottage Veg.

Ranout your felt hare is very impressive. I haven't even started my craft kit that I got to occupy me, I just seem to run out of time each day!

I hope you don't feel too grotty purple - I am in awe of the Christmas shopping! My eldest has her birthday in November and I tend to focus on that & then time just whizzes by to Christmas afterwards. I need to get my thinking head on for something good for my Mum & Dad to say thank you after all they have done for me this summer, as I don't know how I would have managed without them.

Anyway, my bed is calling. Apologies if I have missed anyone.

noodles it might be worth getting them checked by a podiatrist in case there's anything they can do to help. Is it the nail or skin? Are you on Tax now? In the past other posters have been told to paint their nails a dark colour to protect them from UV light as that works with the Tax somehow to cause nail damage. I don't know the details as I've never had it. But it might be worth a try to prevent further damage. I wear barefoot trainers. I like them anyway, but they are a slightly different shape and they didn't squash my bad toe. They're not the most stylish though...