CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 65 - for anyone with cancer or waiting for cancer tests (pets welcome!)

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Good morning everyone,

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here.

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then you can get support here.

Please feel free to reintroduce yourself so we don't all have to remember from the previous thread!

Simmi1 I actually put it on FB after my lumpectomy so I didn't need to worry about who knew. Beforehand was a different matter.

Thanks purple that sounds like good advice, I haven't had a hot water bottle for years but any excuse to shop!

I found it really hard to talk about my diagnosis prior to surgery and really struggled with the sympathy overload from work colleagues. I also had to tell the DCs school, my 2 netball teams and close friends - it does feel like it just takes over your life and your conversations! I found it easier to talk about post op as it felt like the worst bit was over. Bizarrely this time round I've actually felt quite embarrassed telling people I've got to go back through it all again, even though it's not my fault I feel inadequate somehow. People tell me how strong I am but tbh I just don't want to dwell on it too much sorry I've really waffled there!

I think I'm going to screenshot all these comments about anaesthetics to read beforehand!

I'm finding it really hard to tell people. I haven't told many because their worry and sympathy makes me feel really awkward and uncomfortable! Like some of you, I guess after the surgery the cat will be out of the bag.

As an aside, before finding out that lacies was based on a typo, I’d decided it must refer to the number of us who have bits missing but who are just as strong and even more beautiful, like lace, exactly because of that.

Ivampire I much prefer that version

Here's our wee lady. 16.5yrs and have made sad decision that it's time to say goodbye. Kids and DH will be broken but this beautiful wee soul owes us nothing

Aw Keepcalm that's heartbreaking, she's gorgeous 💔 they're like your babies aren't they? But if it's time then you're doing the right thing. Have some very unmumsnetty hugs

keepcalm Aww I'm so sorry. What a beautiful girl she is.

ivamp I like that

Oh @KeepCalm it's horrid isn't it but if we love them we have to let them go.
@iVampire love the lacies!
@Tahitiitsamagicalplace I'm now fed up of telling people! I'd hoped the usual school gossips would have spread the news for me! They haven't grrrr. Anyway to be fair, most people have been shocked but then really supportive and full of offers of help rather than a pity party, I'm a pretty positive person and I know I'm very lucky so instead of saying I've got breast cancer I've been telling them I have treatable (for now, fingers crossed) breast cancer and that seems to make a difference.
Been to a nice hall with gardens today with DH and the DCs was laughing my head off as there was a stream with boats in in but you could only operate the boats by winding with both hands. DH suggested I wouldn't be able to do it with my picc line so I watched him take the 7 year old and be knackered and then she got out and he took the 4 year old! Ha ha then we went for a nice Italian. I'm afraid I'm turning into Disney mum when I have a really good day.
Hope everyone has had as good a weekend as they can. Waves all round.

She’s beautiful KeepCalm
16 is a wonderful long life for a dog.

I read that the only time our animals make us cry is when they leave us. It’s true, but that sadness is outweighed a million times over by the happiness we’ve shared with them and the joy we feel knowing we gave them a happy life. x

tahiti I have also had a general. It was the best sleep ever and I remember being a little annoyed when I was woken - but really nothing to worry about.
To all who said they found it hard to talk about before surgery did you have surgery first? I’m actually having chemo first as apparently my kind reacts well to chemo although I will need a full mastectomy after that.

I agree ranoutof that people are likely to be shocked and supportive rather than pity party but I guess I’m still half in denial. Also I like your “treatable” comment. In fact mine is more aggressive that yours I think and my doctor is saying she’s looking to cure this not just treat and although it used to be seen as a “bad” one that is changing with new drugs/treatments etc. But then I look online and see that I have got the bad one (more likely to come back and spread) and start crying. Sorry for the waffling. Actually if pandoras is still here would be good to know what you’ve been told as you have same type. I’m not doing this on NHS as currently living in Australia but sounds like it’s all pretty similar in terms of treatment plans.

I love the “lacies” comment - didn’t know it was a typo - I thought I was missing something

@Simmi1 I'm having chemo first too.

Ive been told that it should respond positively to treatment and that chemo has come on in leaps and bounds in the last few years. Consultant is optimistic but keeps reminding me how serious this is. why yes I'd forgotten

I've got another mri booked for mid October to see if this bastard had grown any more. It measured at 10cm on the scan back in August.

Trying to take each day one at a time but I'm struggling so much. I'm tired all the time and my joints hurt especially my knees and ankles. I'm rarely leaving the house, maybe twice a week on a good week.

We haven't had sex for 10 weeks and I'm feeling so guilty but there is nothing there. Since they gave me the implant to switch off/protect my ovaries there's been no sex drive, nothing, zilch plus the hot flushes and sweats are really not helping.

@KeepCalm and @Simmi1 I'm having chemo first too. My "Leonard the lump" is pretty boring it's just there and big! Slightly shrunk from 2 rounds of chemo. They didn't expect it to shrink loads but I'd rather do all 6 rounds before surgery than a few now then surgery then more and whatever else!
@Simmi1 there was talk I think on the last thread that the more aggressive the cancer the better it responds to chemo. And as you say every day brings new treatment.

Yes that’s what my consultant says that the aggressive ones react better to chemo but it’s still so scary. One minute you’re living your life and the next you’re looking at your 5yr survival chances - it’s pretty grim. Thank you all for all your kind words and support though

Yes, my Dr at the Royal Marsden said that my pathology results showed my cancer to be high grade (Fast spreading and aggressive) I could have chemo whereas if it had been low grade then the chemo is less effective and they probably would have gone down the watch and wait route.

The chemo I’m having targets fast dividing cells. Or fast growing? Can’t remember exact words but it targets the fast fuckers and that’s the main thing.

By the way, has anyone else gone doolally on chemo? A couple of days ago I ordered DS a birthday card on MoonPig. Showed DP the card in the confirmation email and I’ve ordered a bloody Christmas card!
Tonight I ordered pizza for dinner from Dominoes. When it arrived it was in Pizza Hut boxes. DP asked why I ordered from them as I don’t like their pizzas. I said Dominoes must have run out of boxes and borrowed some perhaps. Nope, despite searching Google for Dominoes I managed to order from PizzaHut without noticing.

I don’t think I should be allowed out without a responsible adult with me st all times.

Aimless I keep losing words. I spent a couple of minutes trying to find the word for remote. I'm blaming the chemo.

Evening all

I posted earlier but it obviously didn't send. Signal was very patchy. I spent the day at the Woolly Hugathon with the lovely TQ :)

I'm about to nod off, but just wanted to wish purple good luck for tomorrow also sorry you felt rubbish for your birthday

Also I'm really sorry KeepCalm

I hope everyone sleeps well (and have a nice day Simmi as it must be morning for you!)

Chemo brain Aimlessly. I once forgot my own name I was thinking how nice it was that other people had names and wondered if I had one too

Thank you Leslie hope you all have a good night. Just on my way into work to break the bad news .

Sorry about your dog keepcalm - beautiful eyes.

Oh pandora I’m sure your DH understands about the sex. I don’t feel like it anymore either and I haven’t even started any treatment. I think we just need to tell ourselves it will be a crappy 18months or so but we’ll get through. Do you have friends coming to visit you? Must be horrible stuck at home. Can doctors give you anything for the aches? Sending lots of good vibes from Australia

Hope it went ok at work @Simmi1. I've only told my two managers and not filtered it down through the rest of the staff yet. One of my managers is on A/L so once she knows they can start letting the rest know once we're away on holiday.

I'm selfishly terrified that they're all going to think it will affect their jobs and leave. The industry I work in traditionally has a high staff turnover. Thankfully we don't but you never know.....

Very jealous of your location. My best friend lives in WA and telling her was hard as she was so upset and so far away

I had an operation first. That was the plan from the off as my lump was small.

Pandora all long relationships go through fallow periods. I'm sure your DH understands.

I'm sorry Keepcalm. Her eyes are so soft. At least you can stop her pain

Thanks keepcalm - work were fantastic- so supportive and understanding. The ladies I met also told me about others at the firm or that they knew that had gone through bc and survived so feel a bit more reassured now. I’m sure your staff will stay loyal to you - you sound lovely.

Right off home now to make dinner for the troops