How much is too much ?

[Tillyboo]

I don't drink so I have no idea what is deemed to be too much so I can't advise, but a friend is concerned about her partners drinking habits.

He drinks 2 cans of lager most nights and 2, 3 or 4 of an evening at the weekend.

I know compared to some people this doesn't seem a lot especially when you see programmes about youngsters binge drinking at weekends but the concern is that there is a history of drink problems in his (immediate) family and my friend is terrified of history repeating itself.

She has spoken to him about it and he was very defensive and sort of admitted that he probably was drinking too much. He laid off it for a bit but then slips back to buying the cans on his way home from work.
He doesn't make the consuming of it very obvious really i.e. drinks it whilst cooking or out in the kitchen which in my eyes means he's hiding it a bit ?

I don't know how best to advise her about broaching the subject with him as it seems a very sensitive subject between them.

Any ideas?

Hi there
Don't know what to suggest but bumping for you.
I would say that the drinking in the kitchen isn't good.

It doesn't sound like a huge amount in terms of quantity but I'd be concerned that he's drinking every day. I think the recommendation is that you have at least one or two alcohol free days per week. Could he cut out the weekday drinking and just drink at weekends?

The secretiveness is not good, but that said my DH and I both have a glass of wine or whatever whilst cooking, neither of us have a drink problem and neither of us 'hide' our consumption from each other (or anyone else). So simply 'drinking in the kitchen' is not automatically him hiding his consumption.

that is how my moms husband started then it gradually got more an more with spirits aswell he eventually had no choice but to stop as he would of broken his probation they also made him go aa and anger managment too

The amount he is drinking doesn't sound excessive from a health point of view BUT an alcoholic is not just someone who drinks pints of spirits every day. Alcohol dependency can come in many forms.

The fact that it is causing a problem between the man and his partner is enough to call it an issue that needs addressing. Whether that problem is extreme enough to be labelled alcoholism is anbother story.

I'd be concerned as to why he thinks he needs to. My ex-DH used to drink 2 pints every lunch time and consume far too much at the weekend. He never admitted he had a problem but he did have. A drink is a social thing, to be consumed either watching a film or over dinner or with friends. To drink in the kitchen!!!! Why?

I find it impossible to believe that DH and I are the only people to have a glass of something whilst we are cooking

Cooks treat to have a glass of wine whilst cooking. I drink in the kitchen with DH and chat, if I drank in the lounge I wwould have to watch cbeebeis

I suspect the drinking in the kitchen is cos he knows his partner doesn't like him drinking so he drinks there so there's no conflict

I drink one or two cans of lager in the evening. Never more but rarely none at all.

I've been known to drink in the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom and the lounge. Since when did a can of lager have to be drunk in the lounge?!

all drinking? Can I still sip water in the kitchen?

can I even pour it in the kitchen though? I could take it from the bathroom tap?

Another kitchen drinker here. In fact, our Friday night kicks off with a cocktail as I'm cooking dinner. Off to rifle through the cocktail book and decide on tonight's tipple.

I meant the taking into the kitchen away from prying eyes and disapproval.
I too have been known to drink in all rooms of the house! LOL

We are kitchen drinkers here too. Cooking doesn't feel right unless we are having a drink - it's how we wind down.

2 cans a night doesn't sound too bad. Has she asked if he feels he needs it or just enjoys it?

I would imagine that they bigger deal she makes of it the bigger deal it will become. And it sounds like he is controlling it in his own way by only buy 2 on the way home from work. He is not buying lots and drinking all of it.

I've been known to have a wardrobe drink too. I guess I have a really bad problem. Thank goodness dp's never noticed ...

Drinking a glass of wine in the kitchen whilst cooking is most enjoyable and an important part of preparing a good meal . Drinking in the kitchen to avoid someone else seeing you is worrying

Amounts not huge perhaps but everyday isn't good.

But it's not a really great place to hide is it? If you had a real problem you would take the can to the wardrobe. Or the toilet.