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General health

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Original poster

Peter in pain but wont go to hospital

98 replies

misdee · 09/05/2007 13:23

he says they wont do anything. i think with that attitude they wont, he needs to be seen. he isnt living, just exsisting.

OP posts:

littlelapin · 09/05/2007 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 17:32

LL, yes has been ill for over 5 years. went into end stage heart failure about 2.5yrs ago, so was rpetty stable with medication for a few years and we did have some nice family times, took the kids on holidays etc.

yes i could do with a break but dont like to ask, carers wont look after the kids as not insured, and that only leaves his parents to do it. i do have a day off next week and want to go to the cinema but need someone to watch dd3.

anorak, i know he wants to be at home, but he really isnt living atm. he gets up to take medication, watches some tv, goes back to bed in the afternoon, gets up about 5pm then stays up till 9. he barely goes out of the house now as is in so much pain. i cant go out during the day as cant leave him alone at all. its not just the effect on peter, but the rest of the family as well. I took the girls to the zoo on bank holiday monday, and peter wanted to come but wouldnt have been able to cope with the journey let alone walking around. this whole thing is breaking my heart

OP posts:

Saturn74 · 09/05/2007 17:36

Sparkler1 · 09/05/2007 17:39

oh mate - if I was near I'd be round like a shot to babysit for you. x

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 17:40

are you VAD trained?

OP posts:

Sparkler1 · 09/05/2007 17:45

melminx · 09/05/2007 17:46

misdee im sorry i had no idea your dh was so poorly my heart goes out to all of you xxx

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 17:51

this si so stupid, i cant leave him with a carer watching him and him watching the kids. in my own bloodyt home

heartfailure sucks.

OP posts:

losty · 09/05/2007 17:55

Oh misdee I am sorry to hear Peter is in pain. I havent been on mn for a while but I always read your threads about Peter when I am here.

As regards to going to hospital, can you tell Peter how much it is hurting YOU by him not going to get checked out? I know to some people that may seem like a hard thing to say, as Peter is the patient, but YOU are going through this as well as him (and your dc) and your needs need to be taken in to consideration too. Could you have that converstation with him?

Whoooosh · 09/05/2007 17:57

Misdee-as long as it is Monday,Tue or Wed-I would gladly have dd who is similar age to my dd and we are not far from you.....dd would love a playmate and if you go to the Cineworld in Stevenage won't be far away at all.

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 18:02

whooosh thank you, thats very kind offer. but i dont like leaving kids with people other than family. i know ineed to find a new babysitter though.

OP posts:

apeainapod · 09/05/2007 18:08

misdee this is probably intrusive but I've read a few a your posts - may I ask what is wrong with your husband. of course tell me to mind my own business. I hope Peter gets to see someone soon.

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 18:15

short version is he has a heart condition called dilated cardiomyopathy which was caused by a virus 5 years ago. 2.5 years ago he went into end stage heart failure. just over 2 years ago he went on the trnasplant list. then in june 05 he went into the final stages of heart failure, and we almost lost him. his life was saved by an LVAD (heart pump), he finally came home in august 2006, and has been in out and of hospital ever since. still waiting for a heart transplant and still has the pump, which is causing all this pain..

blog is www.waitingforthecall.blogspot.com

and there is a youtube video here

OP posts:

apeainapod · 09/05/2007 18:19

oh. I am so sorry. I hope that Peter receives his transplant soon. x

Whoooosh · 09/05/2007 18:21

I can understand that Misdee but any time you feel ilke coming over so dd3 and you get to know us you are more than welcome

losty · 09/05/2007 18:21

Was my suggestion of talking to Peter about how you feel misdee totally inappropriate?

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 18:22

no losty, not at all. i do tell him, but he doesnt listen at times.

OP posts:

losty · 09/05/2007 18:24

It must be so hard for both of you misdee - but he has to consider you in this doesnt he? I hope you realise I am not being heartless here, just trying to look out for you too. x

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 18:26

i know losty, and he does, but doesnt want to be admitted to hospital. he has to go in on friday to get his LVAD swapped over after the machine went wrong last week. maybe they will keep him in.

OP posts:

losty · 09/05/2007 18:28

I know misdee. Could you ring someone, eg a nurse (I dont know how the system works for this sort of thing, sorry) and tell them your worries and that Peter is in pain? It might just help if you told them, IYKWIM?

PeachyChocolateEClair · 09/05/2007 18:28

Agree with Noddyholder, surely he needs to go for everything to back up his claim for an urgent pace?

Can see why he doesn't want to though

Poor chap, give him a hug on us XX (and one for you too)

foxinsocks · 09/05/2007 18:28

any progress with the possible hospital change or is that looking unlikely?

Original poster

misdee · 09/05/2007 18:31

still looking into it foxin.

i know he needs to go in, and it needs to be diocumented, but he just wont, and i dont blame him. last time he went in with this pain, they said to him 'why you in, we've looked at this, theres nothing we can do'

OP posts:

kimi · 09/05/2007 18:31

Misdee, so sorry you are all having a bad time.
Hoping Peter feels better soon.
You are so strong, but I hope you get some time for yourself.

edam · 09/05/2007 18:34

Would it help if you phoned Harefield yourself and told them what's going on? At least that might get it documented. And if they say 'come in' at least you've got extra weight to what you've been telling Peter, if that makes any sense.

Sorry about this Misdee, miserable situation to be in.

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