Thanks all. It means a lot.
I can’t go through all the descriptors now as my youngest is still awake.
My eldest does have to help me open jars etc. The Occupational Therapist gave me some sticky grip things which do help, but on a bad day I just can’t do them.
It takes a couple of hours for the stiffness to go upon waking. So although I’m shattered I always have to get up early. There have been lots of occasions when I simply haven’t been able to get out of bed and have had to enlist family to help me go to the toilet, get dressed. Other days I’m fine.
Most days I can drive , sometimes I can’t - I had to change my manual for an automatic.
Sometimes I can clean the whole house and manage, other days I struggle to lift a pan and cook a meal.
The only reason I’ve kept my job is because my manager is supportive and I have flexible working. I can postpone things when I’m ill and do them of an evening or weekend when I feel better. I work from home half of the week to cut down on the commute etc.
Although this is great, it also means I lose my free time, my time to recover/relax/do chores/see family as I’m constantly making up my hours.
When I can’t cook full meals I can feed the children takeaway/ready meals. I then don’t bother for myself due to risk of anaphylaxis. Sometimes I do batch cook and it does help.
I struggle carrying things - I get most shopping delivered to the house. I do try to be creative to avoid causing myself additional problems.
I incur lots of expenses at the hospital - they have different clinic days and many are at different hospitals so I can’t be too clever about scheduling appointments all on one day etc. Hospital parking is pricey. I then make up the time I have missed from work ..I’m sure legally I prob wouldn’t have too, but work have been so good and I don’t want to take the piss.
Apart from the Reynsauds and RA being painful and debilitating, when the HS flares up it can make wearing clothes painful, it’s painful to sit down etc.
I have loads of side effects from the various medications, nausea, sweats, hair loss.
The OT recommended getting a cleaner and either paying someone to mow the lawn when needed, swapping to artificial grass or getting a petrol lawn mower to make it an easier job. All these things cost money I don’t have. I’ve practically stopped ironing as it leaves me in agony as well as being boring.
There’s loads of things that i struggle to do. I’ve had periods signed off work when I’m really incapacitated.
I already had fluctusting mental health but the illnesses and constant juggling don’t help. I stay active and use a gym a little bit, when I can but mostly use the sauna as the heat helps. Again this was on advice from the OT but costs money.
If I could drop my hours and /or afford a cleaner i just wouldn’t always be in so much pain.
The diary is a good idea and I will do that. However, my RA and Reynauds are much much worse over the winter or when it’s really cold, like now - whereas when it’s warmer my HS will flare up as it’s linked to sweat glands.
After my mental health appointments each week I am utterly fit for nothing yet need to get back to work. I try to schedule towards the end of the day but it’s not always possible.
The juggling is exhausting.