I'm going to sound so harsh, but I think you need to understand the difference between the experience of your illnesses and the criteria for awarding PIP.
"My eldest does have to help me open jars etc. The Occupational Therapist gave me some sticky grip things which do help, but on a bad day I just can’t do them....other days I struggle to lift a pan and cook a meal.....When I can’t cook full meals I can feed the children takeaway/ready meals. I then don’t bother for myself due to risk of anaphylaxis. Sometimes I do batch cook and it does help.
This will only count if:
a) you have those difficulties for 50% of the time or more and
b) you can't cook a simple meal for one person from fresh ingredients and this includes using a microwave.
So if you can't lift a family size pan, but can lift a pan for one person, that won't count, sadly.
It takes a couple of hours for the stiffness to go upon waking. So although I’m shattered I always have to get up early. There have been lots of occasions when I simply haven’t been able to get out of bed and have had to enlist family to help me go to the toilet, get dressed. Other days I’m fine.
Again, it's 50% of the time or more that will count.
Most days I can drive , sometimes I can’t - I had to change my manual for an automatic.
"Sometimes I can clean the whole house and manage"
Not being able to clean your house doesn't come into it, unfortunately.
"The only reason I’ve kept my job is because my manager is supportive and I have flexible working. I can postpone things when I’m ill and do them of an evening or weekend when I feel better. I work from home half of the week to cut down on the commute etc."
Ok, so this might help you, if you can show that you have problems on 50% of the days or more.
"Although this is great, it also means I lose my free time, my time to recover/relax/do chores/see family as I’m constantly making up my hours."
This is irrelevant, for PIP, so you'll have to think of a different way of phrasing it to show the impact on you. It's not about free time/relaxation/chores/family time, it's about your ability to pace yourself through the week to be able to keep going, etc.
"I incur lots of expenses at the hospital - they have different clinic days and many are at different hospitals so I can’t be too clever about scheduling appointments all on one day etc. Hospital parking is pricey. I then make up the time I have missed from work ..I’m sure legally I prob wouldn’t have too, but work have been so good and I don’t want to take the piss."
None of this will count - costs incurred don't count at all. However, you could use this information, without mentioning costs, to show how much time you have to spend dealing with treatments, etc.
"Apart from the Reynsauds and RA being painful and debilitating, when the HS flares up it can make wearing clothes painful, it’s painful to sit down etc."
Helpful, but you'll need to quantify it so they can see if it meets the 50% criteria (I'm pretty sure it's 50% combined, not 50% for each Disability).
"I have loads of side effects from the various medications, nausea, sweats, hair loss."
Ok, but it's about the impact they have on your day and the care you need as a result.
"The OT recommended getting a cleaner and either paying someone to mow the lawn when needed, swapping to artificial grass or getting a petrol lawn mower to make it an easier job. All these things cost money I don’t have. I’ve practically stopped ironing as it leaves me in agony as well as being boring."
No, nothing to do with money. They don't care about money. Instead: you can't maintain your garden and OT recommended....(do you have that in writing?). You are unable to iron clothes and as a result feel liberated distressed when you are wearing crumpled clothing.
"There’s loads of things that i struggle to do. I’ve had periods signed off work when I’m really incapacitated."
This is helpful, use this and include copies of the certificates.
"I already had fluctusting mental health but the illnesses and constant juggling don’t help. I stay active and use a gym a little bit, when I can but mostly use the sauna as the heat helps. Again this was on advice from the OT but costs money."
Ignore the money, talk about the impact.
If I could drop my hours and /or afford a cleaner i just wouldn’t always be in so much pain.
The diary is a good idea and I will do that. "However, my RA and Reynauds are much much worse over the winter or when it’s really cold, like now - whereas when it’s warmer my HS will flare up as it’s linked to sweat glands."
This is a problem with fluctuating conditions. You have to have had the condition for six months and expect to have it (at a level that qualifies for an award) for a further 9 months. If you have a condition that would qualify in the winter, but wouldn't in the summer, and another that would qualify in summer, but wouldn't in winter, you could find that both conditions independently fail that test, even if they would together pass it.
After my mental health appointments each week I am utterly fit for nothing yet need to get back to work. I try to schedule towards the end of the day but it’s not always possible.
The juggling is exhausting.