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Original poster

How do you manage with constantly asking for sick days from work when your school kids are continually ill?

41 replies

imaginaryfriend · 26/04/2007 21:06

I'm getting so depressed with the amount of time I keep having to take off work with either dd being ill or me with something she's passed onto me. A lot of the people I work with don't have kids and I'm sure they must sigh and think I'm deprived of any active immune system.

Since the new year I've had nearly 6 weeks off in total

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olivo · 26/04/2007 21:09

I can only sympathise, I am dreading this! I have only been back two weeks and already will probably be taking my first day off tomorrow. i have dragged myself in for a few days this week but now have caught dd's conjunctivitis on top of feeling rough.
hopefully things will get better for you now summer is approaching.

slayerette · 26/04/2007 21:14

I sympathise lots - we've just had a letter circulated at work informing us that we can only take one paid day off every eight months to look after a sick child - any days on top of that one day will be unpaid leave. Would be interested to hear about other employers' rules and regs in this situation.

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 26/04/2007 21:16

I am so looking forward to the summer break!

Dd's only just gone full time, January, in the nursery part of her primary school. Her group consists of 27 kids. BUT they have a corner of the much larger space which also houses the part time nursery kids, 27 in the morning, 27 in the afternoon, which means that on a daily basis she's coming into contact with over 75 different kids. The bugs spread like nobody's buisness.

Since January she's had: 3 stomach bugs, bronchitis, chickenpox and I caught the bronchitis which turned into pneumonia. I'm so fed up it's untrue. She's been off all this week with a particularly horrible tummy bug (no. 3) so I have been totally housebound with her.

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Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 26/04/2007 21:18

I'm only working part-time thank goodness so it's not such a huge issue as it would be were I full-time. So if dd's ill at the start of the week I can take my Monday off and then hopefully be back in by Friday.

I usually take my days as holiday, meaning I've now already got precisely 6 days holiday left for the year. I've also taken a lot of sick days for myself because I've caught what she's got.

Does anybody know if you get in the shit for taking too many sick days off?

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slayerette · 26/04/2007 21:36

I don't know what they can say about sick days. We have to sign a form saying why we were away, or get a Dr's note if it's more than five days, but we haven't had a limit set on how much we're away. Could employers do that? Wouldn't it be discrimination or something?

cat64 · 26/04/2007 21:38

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cat64 · 26/04/2007 21:40

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Jackaroo · 26/04/2007 21:46

Well in the NHS my experience is that they make it incredibly hard for you. It's an NHS nursery, which has very strict rules about how long a child must be kept away for various things (understandably, although sometimes it very frustrating...) and the HR of the same hospital are making it impossible to do anything other than take holiday to cover it. You just can't.
It doesn't seem to occur to them that you may not be taking sickness to skive. They assuming your skiving unless you prove otherwise. TBFair, this is only my experience in 3 different hospitals so that's hardly representative.
My first 6 months back after DS started nursery I only just avoided "trigger" letters etc and I've just had a formal occ health interview, fortunately with a very sane doctor who in my letter said that it was all because I had a child at nursery, and that wasn't anything anyone could do anything about and nor did she want to!

Apparently she wasn't the one who normally does the interviews so I wonder if she's a bit anti the whole thing ............

beautifulgirls · 26/04/2007 22:04

I work part time, DH works full time, however we share any child sick days. 3 days a week he is guaranteed to be at work as I am home anyway with our 2 girls. If one of them is sick on the other two days we take it in turns, unless my mother can have whichever one it is. Depends on why they are off as to whether she can cope with a small child all day, and of course if she is free. Dads are as entitled to family sick leave as mums - it is just that perhaps we do not trust them as much to look after the kids for a day alone and tend not to consider them as an option. I'm glad we are not so "normal" and DH is very hands on thankfully. Doesn't stop either of us feeling guilty mind you.

jomist · 26/04/2007 22:12

I had to take a lot of time off at the end of last year in hospital with ds2 when he was diagnosed with crohn's. Work were very understanding fortunately and I didn't have any holiday left to take. They paid me for all the time I had off. I even took him to work with me and tube fed him there because I felt so guilty about taking more time off. He wasn't unwell in himself at that time.

When I had to take a week off in Feb when he was ill again I took that as holiday, but now I've booked all my leave for the year and if I have to take any more time off I'm assuming it will be unpaid.

Ex won't take any time off to help so I will just have to economise and hope work continue to be understanding if I need more time.

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 26/04/2007 22:14

Cat, dd's previously never got as sick as this, so constantly, in the past. But as I said earlier, contact with 75 different kids 5 days a week is bound to put her at huge risk.

I have a feeling that if I were to take any more time off in the near future, even for myself, I'd get in trouble at work. Although i don't know quite how. I've no idea how many sick days I am allocated a year. But the head of my Dept. had over 6 months off when she had breast cancer so they must have a way of dealing with it?

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Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 26/04/2007 22:16

That's very sad to hear jomist. How old was your ds2 when diagnosed? I didn't realise children suffered from Crohn's.

Re. partners helping I do try to get dp involved but he's a university lecturer and unless dd's ill in holidays it's extremely hard for him to let leagues of students down.

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lisad123 · 26/04/2007 22:18

Im the only one in my office with young children. Sometimes I take leave, sometimes I work from home. But always think, sod it, my children come first. You would feel worse if you werent there when they are sick.

I think I have had about 5 weeks off since Jan too, dont worry about it
L

jomist · 26/04/2007 22:24

Ds2 diagnosed at 10. Apparently children are showing symptoms younger and younger. Looking back he was probably showing mild symptoms for years, but we didn't realise until it really flared up.

As far as I know employers can't deny you time off to care for dependents but they don't have to pay you for it. But realistically they have to have their workforce actually working, so if parents such as myself and others here need to take time off frequently there must be a limit for the employer. I don't know at what point they can say 'we've been understanding but....'

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 27/04/2007 09:28

That's good to know. I think we have a limit of something like 3 weeks unpaid leave we can take in a year. I haven't used any of those yet. I'd better find out about it actually.

lisad, I'm glad I'm not the only one to take so much time off. I feel like I'm never at work!

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Anna8888 · 27/04/2007 09:33

imaginaryfriend - how old is your dd?

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 27/04/2007 21:34

She's 4.5. Do you think it'll get easier when she hits the big 5?

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southeastastra · 27/04/2007 21:36

hello imagineryfriend, what do you do for a job?

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 27/04/2007 21:42

HI SEA!!

I have two part-time jobs, one from home and one I go out to 2 days a week. One's working curating a medical film archive and one's searching for paintings looted from Jewish families by the Nazis in WWII.

How are you doing? What do you do for your pennies?

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southeastastra · 27/04/2007 21:47

oh i like your profile! you're a talented lady

i run two after school art clubs and work on playschemes and do a pre school thing

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 27/04/2007 21:52

That sounds fantastic, an after school art club ... Can I join?

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Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 27/04/2007 21:54

Just looked at your profile - my dd would fall in love with your rabbits, she's obsessed with rabbits. The wall by her bed is a devoted 'bunny gallery' filled with rabbit pictures, postcards, even the front of Easter cards with rabbits on them. She draws rabbits, plays with soft rabbits, covets every single item of clothing she ever sees which has a rabbit on it ...

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southeastastra · 27/04/2007 21:54

yes but i'd prefer your job!

they're all loopy at 3.15 and i let them snack so they get even more loopy and they make such a mess. it's chaos but fun

Original poster
imaginaryfriend · 27/04/2007 21:56

That's what art's supposed to be, messy and fun, at least when you're little!

Umm ... what do they snack on?

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southeastastra · 27/04/2007 21:57

i'm obsessed with rabbits too, always have been. i have three, they're lovely creatures