DD 11 has terrible periods and is missing a lot of school

[namechangefordd]

So DD is 11, she started her periods at 10. She's very anxious about puberty, had visible breasts since she was 7 and hates it. She's very tall and slim and hates the fact she sticks out like a sore thumb.

When she has her 4-6 day period she has dreadful PMT for about a week, cramps, really tearful, bad moods, angry, bad skin. Then during her period she's boiling, feels very nauseous, has diarrhoea, and again is very tearful.

She's had to move schools for year six as she was bullied and the school was useless and so going to school feeling really unwell is not something she can do as she has no friendships to really rely upon and so it's a huge ask.

I've contacted the GP (who I cannot even speak to until next Wednesday) as her attendance is pretty rubbish and I fear the only solution will be to offer her the pill, which I will refuse.

Has anyone had this when they started and it evened out? My periods also started at ten but they were very light and pain free.

Persian.

She wouldn't EVER in a month of Sundays go to anyone and talk about periods.

OK how is she at talking to you about it, is it hard for her to say how she feels?

Could you maybe see what affects her the most and narrow down ideas like that?

Even if she did try the Pill, could you do it with the intention of a two month trial and then see what her reaction is when the trial is due to end?

I think that would tell you more about how helpful it is to her than anything else.

Forgot to add, there are pills that you can take for 84 days (3 * 21 days) and then have a period.

There tends to be fewer PMT type issues for the user and usually only 3 or 4 periods a year.

Also there are many different Pills out there, even if one doesn't work, another one might.

Im Not sure what miracle you are expecting mumsnet to come up with, but believe me if I had the cure for horribly heavy periods and PMT which relied on a change of diet and a good walk, I’d be a very rich woman indeed.
Her periods are caused by hormones, I’m not sure why you’re so against giving her a tablet which will almost certainly be some form of hormone, I think you’re being unreasonable in expecting mums who are (predominantly) not doctors to come up with a better solution than an actual medical professional.

We have to have very very short chats!

I'm having a conversation with a GP next week because we live in a shit NHS area where you can't get an appointment but I am going to insist ion a referral to find out what's going on. My sister has had crippling periods her entire life and I'm damned if DD is going to be the same.

Pricilla.

MN is a font of experience that even a wonderful GP may not be aware of. Sometimes someone has had a super GP who has tried something others don't know about.

But your answer was very helpful.

Yes, definitely get the referral and expert advice/investigations. I understand what you are saying about the pill, and I would want to try other possibilities first too, or at least get more expert advice. The cause may be less obvious than it seems. I am not sure why you are being attacked about the pill thing when you have said that if it comes to it and that is the only option to help you would agree.

I had my bad periods from the age of 12 and my Dad had to collect me from school every month as I was so ill with them and the only relief I got was going on the pill. Also it didn't help me that was overweight and that may be something that your GP may consider in any solution. Unfortunately if there is a history of problematic periods in the family then it is well known that others my have the same fate.

I also took Evening Primrose tablets but they really didn't do a lot!

I am going to insist on a referral

Chances that you will get a referral when you have currently tried nothing are very low - you should prepare yourself for that. GPs referrals are managed and generally they can only refer things when they have followed appropriate pathways. A referral for painful periods which is a common problem in teens, usually grown out of, when nothing has been tried is going to either be rejected or given very very low priority. Equally specialist is likely to recommend the pill whatever the cause.

If you are wondering what else is available, it really is tranexamic acid, mefenamic acid, ibuprofen, pill:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/period-pain/

Guidelines on the NHS site suggest specialist referral only after 3 months of no response.

but I am going to insist ion a referral to find out what's going on. No GP is going to refer your DD without exploring the** usual options first. If you are going to refuse your DD the opportunity to try the pill simply because it is hormonal it is highly unlikely the GP will go any further.

Now whilst it takes an age to get an appointment they do refer here. I would certainly wish to know whether her hormone surges are usually high. She's as bonkers as I am in early pregnancy every month.

Migraleve. This simply isn't true.

She's a teen who is moody around her period. It's normal.

Please don't medicalise this or this she has some condition that needs treatment. From what you have said, she already hates puberty and the changes happening to her body. Sending her off to hospital likely only reinforces the message there is something wrong with her been there, done that

She's 11, she has acne, painful periods and is moody. These are all entirely normal things, just like being moody was for you in early pregnancy.

Hulder something has to be done if OPs daughter is missing so much school. I had horrendous periods as a teenager and it ruined a lot of things at school. I was always envious of my sister who had really light ones.

Yes, it does - but the likely option is the pill. Which OP doesn't want to consider.

I've been there, sat in the sick bay for days, fainted in front of strangers on the way home, hated my body and well and truly bought the T-shirt on this one.

Migraleve. This simply isn't true

What isn't? That you won't get a referral - you wont

Or that you said you will refuse the pill because it is hormone based - you did

I will get a referral. They do that here.... you can't get an appointment with a GP for weeks but when you do they do refer.

OP you have described me from 10 years old. There were and still are plenty of options for making periods more bearable that aren't the pill. I'm surprised so many people have ever suggested the pill when there are so many other options. I had transenamic acid when I was 11 and was on that for about 4 years alongside something else (but I can't remember what it was called) - one tablet to reduce flow and another to help with the pain. Prior to this I went through a pad hourly and was in so much pain I couldn't walk and was vomiting frequently. The tablets gave me my life and sanity back. Funnily enough I spoke to the doctor yesterday about my periods after they have recently got worse again (having finally settled after having children) and she mentioned transenamic acid, so it still exists.

Definitely take her to the GP. They can help and they won't just offer the pill as there are plenty of other options.

As an aside I didn't find that exercise helped at all. In fact it used to make me pass out, so quite the opposite. I did get a lot of relief from hot water bottles. My mum had a meeting with the school about it all (instigated by her) when I moved to a new school and consequently they were very supportive.

For me, transexamic acid had far worse side effects than the Pill.

What they refer every single person who asks? Sorry but referrals are made on medical need, not request of parents.

Migraleve

I think, given experience, they will refer. I think this is due to a general lack of GP time. In my old practice GPs had more time and were more likely to be able to treat and spend time with patients, this practice doesn't have that and so they do refer.

I just moved practice but based on knowledge of my old GP, a referral would be forthcoming here. No, they don't refer everyone who asks but I think OP will be be able to put a good case and to be determined. What they won't do is an urgent referral. There is no way migraleve that you can say with absolute certainty that OP will not get one, that is ridculous.

There is no way migraleve that you can say with absolute certainty that OP will not get one, that is ridculous.

Almost as ridiculous as the OP saying she will get a referral

The knowledge people have based on the fact that they are patients is incredible.

But seriously, the chances of referring to a specialist for period problems without trying any possible treatment first is very very slim.

And no OP they won't refer to save your practice time. It's a clinical decision not an administrative one.

Both my teenage dds suffer to some extent during their periods. Oldest became vegetarian around eighteen months ago and that has made a big difference to the length and heaviness of her period. I am in a similar position, as the op, with dd12 as she suffers a lot with feeling nauseous and very heavy blood loss.