DD 11 has terrible periods and is missing a lot of school

[namechangefordd]

So DD is 11, she started her periods at 10. She's very anxious about puberty, had visible breasts since she was 7 and hates it. She's very tall and slim and hates the fact she sticks out like a sore thumb.

When she has her 4-6 day period she has dreadful PMT for about a week, cramps, really tearful, bad moods, angry, bad skin. Then during her period she's boiling, feels very nauseous, has diarrhoea, and again is very tearful.

She's had to move schools for year six as she was bullied and the school was useless and so going to school feeling really unwell is not something she can do as she has no friendships to really rely upon and so it's a huge ask.

I've contacted the GP (who I cannot even speak to until next Wednesday) as her attendance is pretty rubbish and I fear the only solution will be to offer her the pill, which I will refuse.

Has anyone had this when they started and it evened out? My periods also started at ten but they were very light and pain free.

name I understand, my dd is 12 and I’m so relived her periods don’t seem too bad ( runs in our family unfortunately) but please don’t rule it out if it’s the best option.
I was on the pill for almost 30years before I had children with no issues.
If your GP thinks It the way to go then do consider it

What exactly is wrong with the pill?

I was on it for my unbearable periods at about that age. I tried tranexamic acid, mefenamic acid, various painkillers and they were rubbish.

Plus the pill helped my acne. It made me very happy. I could have 3 months in a row as well so fewer periods and they came at predictable times.

@hulder
bodyecology.com/articles/dangers_birth_control_pill.php

it's essentially a synthesised pregnancy that forces your body to think you're pregnant. It releases excessive oestrogen levels in your body, to which every woman acts differently but can cause depression, weight gain, increase acne etc.

The age of the OP's daughter is especially sensitive, being a child so young, her hormones are all over the place already, her body is going haywire, putting her on the pill could cause changes to her system for the rest of her life.

I went on the pill as a teenager and when I came off it, my body was different, I knew it. My eating habits were different, I found it harder to lose weight, my moods had become worse etc.

I think the pill is a drug with very hush hush side effects.

@Hulder a lot of women experience very bad side effecting, depression, hair loss, weight gain, some forms of pill actually make skin worse, all kinds of things. On top of that the OPs DD is only 11 so I would imagine that OP is concerned about the impact that hormonal treatment would have on her development. The thing about the pill is that it changes your natural hormonal cycles, this can have many beneficial impacts like lightening periods, alleviating period related problems, improving skin, preventing pregnancy but, like any medication, there is a risk that it will do you harm, given how variable hormonal balances are between individual (hence the wide selection of pills available) the risk is multiplied. OP is being very sensible to approach medicating her child with caution.

@restinggrinchface

You surmised it far better than I did!

I was the same as your DD. I started my periods at 13 and from the get go i had exactly the same symptoms - as well as fainting at school.

my doctor gave me mefanamic acid (ponstan) for the pain and something similar sounding (tranx....? something) to lessen the bleeding. After a couple of years i suffered with side effects so they put me on the pill.

still on it to this day aged 42 ! i would be bed bound for 2 days a month if I wasn't .

it took until aged 28 to get an endometriosis diagnosis, the pill is the only thing that helps ....as another poster said it's hormone treatment really.

I've read about dietary changes and exercise, has anyone had any success with these?

I'm not a medical person but plenty of exercise helped me.

thanks resting. I'm not pearl clutching, I'm concerned about any long term meds and effects.

Yes to the exercise. PMS made my life a misery for 1 week out of every four. Upping the aerobic and cardiovascular calmed it down completely.
The pill is horrible. I tried a few brands and some just made me feel permanently premenstrual.

Rather than be concerned about the effects of meds, I would beveorriec about the effect that these periods are already having on your DD.

Hopefully if you refuse to allow her effective treatment, someone at school will be able to advise her of her confidential right yo medical treatment.

Could you maybe ask for an ultrasound (to check for endo/cysts) or a referral to a specialist?

Why are you refusing the pill for your DD?. What are your fears re such a thing?

My periods were like your DDs and they never evened out. That was because I had endometriosis; the pill would have eased a lot of my symptoms. This is not about what is best for you.

Dietary changes and exercise - yes those got mentioned. Nope, they did not help at all. Along with a load of unhelpful old wives tales - it gets better after you've had a baby was may favourite. Really helpful to an 11-yr-old.

I remember being extremely cross at the suggestion that exercise would help when I was busy passing out and throwing up. I needed something now!

Exercise helps massively. It's the last thing you feel like doing but honestly it does help so much.

For at least 15 years? Not necessarily - at 19 I switched to the implant because i didn't want to have to remember to take the pill.

My periods also regulated and lightened naturally so by 19 I wouldn't have had to take anything if it wasn't for contraceptive need.

I'd also bear in mind that at 16 she can make her own decision, and earlier if GP thinks she is competent.

There were loads of girls on the pill at my school - I wasn't the only one at 11 for period pain and by 14 there were those on it for contraception too. Not all of those had seen the GP with their mums either.

And this is in the early 90s, not recently.

Just because we give out the pill en masse it doesn't mean it is without risk. I would like to explore all alternatives before shoving artificial hormones down her throat.

To those that talk about "hopefully someone will take her aside and advise her" she's crippled by embarrassment about all of this and if someone took it upon themselves to approach her without my consent I'd be furious.

This is not a bizarre refusal, this is a sensible caution around medicine.

When she was seven I did go and see a GP about her early development, but thankfully they agreed it wasn't precocious puberty.

I completely agree that all medicine needs caution, specifically hormones. I've taken pills that worked, and some that really didn't agree with me. Obviously at 11, anything she takes should be monitored heavily.

Just be careful she doesn't resent your refusal when she's older if she chooses to take the pill and it solves the problem.

What's wrong with the pill?

It can mess up your hormones. I was on it for 18 months and it destroyed my libido which has never recovered fully. I know you generally take it to prevent babies, but that's a little extreme.

So I wouldn't want my young daughter to take it if there was a sensible alternative either.

I have clearly misrepresented myself! I would of course allow her to take it if there's no alternative.

When I was at Uni I told the GP I was homesick and feeling low... I think I'd skived a few lectures... and he prescribed ADs! I am aware that sometimes GPs medicalise problems too quickly.

You do know that your DD can go to the GP on her own and be prescribed the Pill without your knowledge or consent and you would have no right to be furious at anybody?

I found my periods improved over time, I used to get bad cramps but haven't for years. I found mefenamic acid helpful for them. Sorry to hear your poor DD is having a tough time. I know that things like Agnus castus can have a dramatic effect on pmt symptoms, I took it myself for years...however after having mid cycle spotting and other issues I saw a consultant who felt that the Agnus castus was the cause. It might still be right for your daughter, even if just taken for a short time it could help re balance things, but I would seek expert advice from someone who is familiar with its effects first. In fact maybe a GYN consultant could give you best advice generally.

Indeed some GPs will do whatever gets you out the door quickest.

Has she tried Ibuprofen? It always really helped my period pains and might be a place to start while you investigate further?