Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Does anyone else just sometimes feel like walking away [sad]

33 replies

MadAsABoxOfFrogs · 04/04/2007 09:05

I'm not sure where to put this but as its regarding my health thought best here.

To cut a long story short, i have been feeling so low lately yesterday i was ready to not come home and just leave dp and 2ds's I am always so nervous about everything:
driving my car- i'm convinced i'm going to crash
staying in the house on my own - am always afraid someone will break in
in bed at night - afraid that someone will break in and hurt my children
even a trip in asda - if i see someone that look supspicous i will leave in case they try to rob the shop
I wont even go to a bank
I know this all sounds like i'm a loon but i can't cope with being like this anymore.
I don't have any energy to play with my ds's and feel like they would be so much better off w/out me
I have booked a doctors appointment today at 10 but i have no idea what to say to him in case he gets social services involved, and i will prob end up there givin a complete lie as to why i am there.
Please someone tell me that this will get better and i'm not on my own

OP posts:
TheAngelWearsPrada · 04/04/2007 09:07

hi firstly you are not alone at all ,,,,and the dr will understand and you will know what to say when you get there ,,,secondly have a virtual hug {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

lulumama · 04/04/2007 09:09

no reason at all social workers will get involved

sounds like a depression / anxiety type of thing, that can be handled with medication and counselling......please do not worry that anything bad will happen when you seek help ,it is terribly common, and your doctor will be able to help...

you are not on your own

TheAngelWearsPrada · 04/04/2007 09:09

while you are at the docs ask him to do a blood test for your thyroid..as underactive thyroid can make you feel like this and often goes un diagonosed,

aol · 04/04/2007 09:11

You sound so very sad. Please get help - you only live once.

Original poster
MadAsABoxOfFrogs · 04/04/2007 09:15

But the sad thing is that i am on my own. I cannot talk to dp because w/out ever suffering from depression it is very hard to understand. I have no family to talk to. And i certainly don't have any friends that i would want to discuss this with as i'm too afraid that they would start treating me different not that i have anyone that close that i could talk about it with anyway.
A year ago i had bloods done as i was constantly tired but apart from a raised liver function test the rest were showing fine, i just feel like someone else has taken over me and i can never just be me again iyswim

OP posts:
magnolia1 · 04/04/2007 09:16

Have been through the exact same thing and did actually leave for a while
When I finally admitted something was wrong I went onto antidepressants and slowly but surely my life came back together.
Don't be afraid to be honest with the doctor, they will be able to help xxxx

lulumama · 04/04/2007 09:18

you'd be amazed how many people have suffered depression / anxiety

i did for years

once i told my friends, i would say, 80 % of them told me they had had PND or some sort of depressive episode and wished they had been more open about it, sought help etc

1 in 4 people will have some issue with their mental health at some point, so you are far from alone

some meds will help get you back on an even keel, and counselling can also be a big help

please ask for help, your doc will understand

it is an illness like any other, and you deserve to be treated and to get better

Original poster
MadAsABoxOfFrogs · 04/04/2007 09:18

But i'm afraid of antidepressants for a number of reasons

  1. I need to be in control because of my job.
  2. I drink every evening
  3. I need to be able to drive so i can't take anything that would make me drowsy
  4. It's finally admitting that i need help (and this is the hardest part for me)
OP posts:
TheAngelWearsPrada · 04/04/2007 09:19

your not on your own..i know how you are feeling i realy do..once you have been to the dr sit down with your dp and explain how you feel,

Chloe55 · 04/04/2007 09:21

When you go to the doc please make sure you tell him everything Don't cover up for fear of him thinking you are a loon, he won't, he also won't even consider getting social services involved. What he will do is give you reassurance and possibly prescribe medication if he thinks you need it and you want it and he will put you in touch with support groups should you wish to find comfort through those who have experience in depression.

You sound so low, I really feel for you. Don't feel guilty about how you feel, you can sort this out and get through it.

Swizzler · 04/04/2007 09:22

MIND helpline: 0845 766 0163

Give them a call - it's anonymous and they can give you an idea ogf your options (as well as being a friedly ear)

lulumama · 04/04/2007 09:23

By MadAsABoxOfFrogs on Wed 04-Apr-07 09:18:55
But i'm afraid of antidepressants for a number of reasons

  1. I need to be in control because of my job.

I WENT TO WORK WHEN I TOOK ADS, NO ISSUE WITH CONTROL AT ALL

  1. I drink every evening

THIS MIGHT HELP YOU TO CUT DOWN A LITTLE, ALCOHOL CAN MAKE YOU MORE DEPRESSED, AND ADS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, AND HELP YOU CUT DOWN ON ALCOHOL...

  1. I need to be able to drive so i can't take anything that would make me drowsy

THEY DON'T MAKE YOU DROWSY, IF THEY DO, TAKE THEM IN THE EVENING !

  1. It's finally admitting that i need help (and this is the hardest part for me)

THAT IS THE BRAVEST STEP OF ALL, WELL DONE !!

Original poster
MadAsABoxOfFrogs · 04/04/2007 09:23

I have to go now as i'm off to doc's
Thank you all for your responses i will be back on as soon as i come home xx

OP posts:
april74 · 04/04/2007 09:31

hope everything goes well for you.

A lot of what you said brings me back to when I had PND, I used to afraid of doing most things and even going to the shop for a pint of milk had to be a military exercise. Finally went to the doctors who gave me ad's, then spent weeks with the pills without taking them trying to find a million reasons not to take them, finally my best friend made me take them by saying I was ill and needed help, and if I had a heart problem or I was a diabetic I would take pills, so why not for this?.

Please let us know how you got on, I know you feel you are alone, but there are so many people out there suffering as well, and there still has this stigma attached to depression, and I am sure that if people were more open and honest a lot of that would go.

If you need anyone to chat to you cat CAT me and I would be happy to help.

Laura032004 · 04/04/2007 09:37

I hope you managed to talk to the GP. If he prescribes you ad's please take them. I was prescribed them with DS1, and didn't take them for numerous reasons - it took me 9 months to get back to anything resembling normal. With DS2, I was offered them at 12 weeks, but didn't start taking them until around 6 months. I started to feel better within a fortnight, and have never felt better than I do now. It has improved my relationship with the DS's and DH no end.

Flowertop · 04/04/2007 09:46

I have had problems with anxiety / depression for most of my adult life. I think that until you get on the ad's/medication you will be unable to rationlise your day to day life. I also drink every day and take ad's. All I can say is that they have helped me enormously and without them I probably would not even be here. I have managed to cut my medication down now to only 3 tabs a week and find that I have more good days now than bad. You are a brave lady to address your issues. Let us know how you get on.
XX

Original poster
MadAsABoxOfFrogs · 04/04/2007 10:55

ok i'm back.
I started blubbing like a fool was so .... but he said that i do def need help, as i am a 'very sad young lady'. He has prescribed prozac, and temazapan (sp?) to help me sleep (pref w/out the need to get sloshed) also i have another appointment next friday to dicuss some form of counselling. He is also going to arrange the health visitor to pop in and help me in anyway that she can with the boys.
The only othyer hurdle to face now is actually taking the said tablets as i am really freaked out by them as i'm not sure what effect it will have on me

OP posts:
Dad12 · 04/04/2007 11:56

Hope you don't mind me chipping in as a stay at home dad..but it was the docs helpful-not comment that you were a 'very sad young lady'..what a sad comment..he probably has no real idea of the major stress and worry that mums have every day with babies and kids. All that work-contract-important-stuff..its nothing compared to the real stuff you have to deal with. Mens work is fun compared..so when you worry so much, well thats a good thing, you're doing the best you can, looking out for your children, the most precious thing there is..you're doing the right thing the best way you can, and it it exhausting..physicaly and emotionally..I'm shattered at the end of the day..just a deep breath and remind yourself what a fantastic mum you obviously are..and that worry and anxiety is part of the job description

meowmix · 04/04/2007 11:59

Well done you. I think you've been very brave, its not easy at all to admit this kind of thing, you should be really proud of doing it.

Try the pills. If they don't work (give them time) then go back. Give yourself a chance to come back to your usual balance.

TheAngelWearsPrada · 04/04/2007 12:01

dad..you just said what i was thinking ,,frogs am really proud of you for going to gp .if you think of the tablets as an aid to giving your body a chance to build itself up a bit and repair itself ..

lulumama · 04/04/2007 12:51

well done !!

prozac- works by elevating and replenishing the levels of serotonin and noradrenalin (sp) in your body, the two chemicals that keep you happy, upbeat, positive and optimistic..

i think !

there will be side effects, but they will pass..the most common being some nausea, shakiness, dry mouth....and the tablets take a while to kick in and have an effect...they work cumulatively, so don;t stop after a week if you feel no different, as two weeks usually brings a change...

honestly, i have a lot of experience of takign various ADs, and am soooooo glad i did

the counselling should really help too

well done, am very very proud of you for taking this step on the road to getting better x

star1976 · 04/04/2007 13:26

I have been on and off Prozac for years, am being weaned off them at the moment (again, this time because of huge appetite increase resulting in weight gain that Dr thinks is caused by them), but I know that there is a huge possibility that I will be back on them in the future.

I am not ashamed of it, as depression (and the accompanying anxiety) is an illess over which I don't always have complete control, even though many people don't see it like that.

My partner tends to think that I am unhappy with my life with him when I get depressed. Even though I try to explain to him that I have everything I could want with him and the kids, and that I myself don't understand why I feel that way.

So you are most definetly not alone, there are so many more sufferers of depression than you could imagine.

You have taken the first (most improtant) step to recovery . And although there is no miracle cure, and I know that I personally will suffer with depression on and off for the rest of my life, you do learn to see the signs and be able to start dealing with it before it hits you like a ton of bricks! HTH

Walnutshell · 04/04/2007 13:33

Poor you Mad--Frog. I read this and thought - oh no! That's where I'm headed! I was just telling dh the other day that I'm fed up with constantly worrying about everything - I get stressed about every possible encounter that involves interaction with strangers. Dh wonders if this is agoraphobia. I'm so used to it, it's only occasionally that I realise that everyone else is normal.

Sorry, it's not the all-about-walnut-show. I meant to offer my sympathies and to reiterate that seriously reducing alcohol consumption is beneficial. Trust me.
Good luck on your way back up!

Cazee · 04/04/2007 14:04

Hi
Although I am no expert, it sounds as if you have a generalised anxiety disorder. I found Mind over Mood very helpful. When I finally saw a CBT therapist he said it was an excellent book to use. It helps you to assess the real danger in different situations, and believe me I used to worry about A LOT of things. (took my pulse once while I was waiting for a taxi, and it was 120!!!). Really super book, I strongly recommend it. The tiredness is most likely due to the anxiety. It might be helpful to ask your doctor to refer you to a CBT psycologist too, rather than a councillor. Thinking of you

Original poster
MadAsABoxOfFrogs · 04/04/2007 14:13

Wow!
I just wanted to say thank you all for your comments
I have picked my tabs up and just reading through the list of side effects (i know i know) i'm panicking
I just want this to be over and be a proper mum and wife (well in 4 weeks anyway)
I want to have energy to play with my children and do things w/out having to sit out because i don't have the energy.
It is nice to know that i'm not on my own though. Not looking forward to feeling sick and headaches and stuff, but surely anything has to be better than how i feel now??

OP posts: