Here it is - the ultimate emetophobic thread - please come and read if you have 5 mins. Long. Sorry.

[twoisenoughmum]

This is my situation:

I suffer from emetophobia (fear of vomiting).

Last Thursday I went out for the evening with my girlfriends. During the course of the evening I discovered one of these friends had had a throwing up bug on the Tuesday.

On Sunday I spoke to another of these women - she had a throwing up bug on Saturday.

Both of these women's daughters are friends of my DDs at school and play with her all the time.

On Monday my DS and I went to lunch with another friend. Her middle son is friends with my DS and plays with him at nursery all the time. Her baby son had been ill with a tummy bug all through the weekend and had terrible diahorrea when we were there at her house.

Today, Wednesday, her middle son wasn't at nursery, I phoned her, he has gone down with the same stomach bug as her baby son.

I have since discovered that several other children at nursery have had stomach bugs and been off for days.

Took my DS to his art class today and the teacher cheerfully told me that her husband has the stomach bug. They also have a son in my DS's nursery.

I went to the Dr today to try and start the ball rolling in getting treatment for my phobia. Sobbed for ages in her room before I could get any words out. She has referred me to psych for CBT and meanwhile prescribed valium to calm me down short term.

Both my DCs have been closely exposed to stomach bugs very recently.

My DH who normally deals with such things because I can't is away Friday evening to Saturday evening.

They are both going to get ill when he is away aren't they?

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I am going to have to run away from the house and call social services to go and rescue the children, aren't I ?

Oh god - My dd (2) has thrown up this morning. Fortunately dp is dealing with it. Now, last time I caught the bloomin thing - who said emets don't throw up? what else can I do, apart from the obvious hand washing?

kels, you aren't in Bristol by any chance are you? I have just got back from the children's hospital there (ds3 had an op on Monday and now has a urine infection possibly - anyway, lots of blood in catheter bag - so I had to take him in to see the doctor) and I have never seen so many children with vomit bowls. It was an emetophobe's idea of hell - a tightly packed small waiting room with all the chairs facing in on room, children everywhere, and vomit bowls everywhere. I feigned an interest in the leaflets about immunisation which were on the wall and allowed me to turn my back on the room, and when that no longer worked, I had to go and wait outside in the cold as I simply could not bear to be in the room any longer! It was awful! I then got ds3 to clean his hands with the hand cleaner about 4 times because at one point he had played with the toy garage and I am paranoid he has picked up whatever bug was sweeping through Bristol's kids. Hmmmm, and dh is away all next week too......

Lots of familiar faces. We've met on a few threads like this. I hope everyone is OK and coping. Huge sympathies from me. DG, I just know I couldn't have gone into that room!

I too was interested in whether it is the worst phobia in the world. I think it is too. At my worst, I was a complete recluse. For me, the fear is very much other people being sick, rather than me. I took the avoidance behavious classic of someone with a phobia (and coupled it with an overactive imagination) to the extreme. I wouldn't go to parties, restaurants, on public transport, on holiday, cinema, swimming pool (how right I was!) because I thought someone may be sick.

Then it got worse than that and I didn't even want to walk down the street or go to school because of it. I then decided I couldn't take my exams because there was a risk someone would be sick in the exam hall. Even in the house I developed a real distrust of my family and best friend because at one time or another they had let me down by being sick (and no, not in front of me, but just at all). I couldn't even talk about it to anyone because I found it extremely difficult to say or write the word.

At its worst I think it can be like a combination of agoraphobia, social phobia, fear of crowds, fear of flying etc. Its impact is also enormous. My whole career was chosen on the basis of people not being sick. I am not a doctor purely for that reason. I decided not to have children because I knew I wouldn't be able to cope. Unlike some I have chatted to on here before, I did confide in RL. I always needed someone to rescue me if it happened. Even when I felt better and decided that I would just cope if it happened with my own children, my boyfriends knew about it and sometimes doubted whether I would be able to go through with having children, or whether I would be a good enough mother because of it.

I feel better now and I DO have children. And it has happened and I have coped. Largely by faking it at the time - doing what I expect a non-phobic to do - and dealing with the horrific fear later. But I do regret the special things I have missed because I have been too scared to do it. I knew, for example, that I would regret not going whale-watching - what an opportunity - but I knew with even greater certainty that I could not get on a boat like that.

Sorry, one of my pet subjects and I could go on for hours!

dumbledore's girl, a vomiting bug in Bristol, oh I hope not... (See my profile...)

Oops sorry clairemow, I thought I was the only emetophobe round here! Well, yes there were a lot of sick children there last night, but, thinking about it since, I have tried to convince myself that even a dozen or so sick children in A&E at any one time on a Saturday night in a city the size of Bristol is maybe nothing out of the ordinary. (Except that everyone was saying it was bedlam and it was obviously busier than I have ever seen it before....)

TBH, I am wondering why people with a sickness bug were going to A&E? Unless they'd had it for days and days? I would just stay at home...

You and me both Clairemow. My phobia means my reaction to people taking children being sick to A&E is anger rather than sympathy, but of course we do not know for how long they had been ill. Mind you, I have to say, many looked relatively chirpy and certainly not ill enough to be in hospital. I did overhear one boy had come in with D and V but was actually being admitted for tonsilitus. Come to think of it, does tonsilitus need hospital treatment either?

Quite... visit to GP? But then maybe I am a bit blase about illness? Except sickness. I haven't yet had to do a trip to A&E with either of my children - 2.10 and 7 months - and my worst fear of going there would be getting sick. I would do almost anything to avoid having to go to A&E on a Friday/Saturday night.

My DS2 started his vomiting bug the other week at a friend's house. I was out the door like a shot, as I know I would just hate it if someone else's child was sick at my house, had the option to leave and didn't! Reminds me of that thread the other week about someone letting their child lean over a baby's buggy while she (the child) was off school with sickness bug. Eugh.

Yes well, I have become blase over the years, going to A&E countless times and never seeing anything to upset me. I was actually thinking when dh and I were taking ds3 in last night that many emetophobes would have stayed home and left their partner to it rather than go into an A&E on a Saturday night. But I felt safe as it was at the children's hospital and I didn't think I would get any drunks there! Serves me right for being so cocky I suppose!

I am like you - I would isolate myself if I had sick children simply because I would want everyone else to isolate themselves in the same situation.

Been off Mumsnet for a few days so just catching up. Sorry to hear about your A&E visit DDG, sounds nightmarish. There isn't a chance all the children had been to the same party and got food poisoning is there? I could (almost) understand one or two very anxious parents taking a young toddler or baby to A&E if they had been sick for days, but that number seems mystifying ... and very bad luck for you, too!

When I was at my GPs last week demanding CBT and valium LOL! there was a mum and a little girl in the waiting room. The girl looked poorly and miserable and sleepy with some sort of virus. The mum only had to say the words "do you feel sick?" to her and I was off out the door before I even heard her answer.

I think my emetophobia is bad but I do understand that it is not as bad as it can be ... like Steala's. In her case, yes that was just about the most awful phobia I can imagine.

I do think your standard agoraphobics and claustrophobics and even arachnophobics have it worse than me in some ways though, because incidences of vomiting are going to happen to me or near me less often than others are going to have to confront their phobias. My phobia has a big impact on my life but at least I can still go out, I can still travel, I can still look in the bath in the morning without having to worry that a spider might be there.

Having suffered panic attacks and overcome them in the past (specifically trains, planes and the tube) I do have hope that I can help myself get over this wearisome obsession, or get a little better at living in the present instead of constantly worrying about "what ifs...". Am beginning to realise the disproportionate amount of time I spend contemplating the subject amounts to a huge, pointless waste.

I really really want to get better now.

Good luck. Yes, there is definitely hope. I am certainly not cured, but I am unrecognisable from the person I used to be. I have a happy and fulfilling life and have done lots of things I never thought possible. Lots of things involve an internal struggle but most of the time my quest for life beats the phobia. I still feel very very cross when I feel I have let myself down and let the phobia have its way!

I have to smile at your annoyance Califrau that the child and father had to talk about vomit in English! That is the sort of irrational irritation that I feel!

Anyway, ds3 had his catheter out today (cue screams), came home and promptly opened up the wound on his willy by playing with his sister, (cue blood, him screaming etc). It is a bit hellish here, and that is without any vomiting, so that tells you how bad it is as normally only vomiting fazes me.

Well hello there everyone! I see lots of familiar names from other threads similar to this one. I don't even know why I read such threads as just reading about your experience in A&E DG has made my stomach swirl.

I too spend many pointless hours worrying about bugs and feel like I am constantly watching over my boys for signs that they may be sick. The honest truth is that at almost 6 and almost 3, I am pretty sure that they have not had a tummy bug. Not to say that they haven't vomitted, but not constantly for hours or days where there is no end in sight. Oh, and I can honestly put my hand up and admit that i am another person who gets angry when people admit that they have been sick or feel sick and am ashamed to admit that this also extends to my kids/dh. There is no other phobia that can make you feel as useless as a parent, as a mother as this one.

DS2 is needing to have some bloods done, should have gone in 2 weeks ago, but I have been putting it off as I would have to take him into the assessment unit of the kids ward, exactly where they first send all the kids who may possible be admitted. I am terrified of taking ds into hospital perfectly fit and well and catching something. We are now due to go in on Monday (although thinking about it now, that's Easter monday, guess I should change it) for his bloods to be done. Guess I will take plenty of antibac handwash for us both!