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Original poster

I need help, talking down, sensible talk please

69 replies

PanickedMum · 20/06/2017 20:10

My DD had a juvenile brain tumour (low grade). It was a truly terrible time but 2 operations later she was ok, cured. She's grown up now, it's almost 20 years ago. She's just been referred back to neurology and an urgent MRI scan following a routine eye test. I'm literally sick with terror, I can't talk myself down. I can't believe it's back after so long but neither can I think of any other rational explanation why this is going to be nothing. I somehow need to find a way to support her through whatever is coming, but I'm heartsick, I just can't bear it for her or me. It's enough already what she went through, too much, it's just unbearable if there's more.

OP posts:
WhyNotDuckie · 20/06/2017 20:11

Thinking of you. Flowers

ImperialBlether · 20/06/2017 20:12

What a horrible situation to be in. You must be terrified. When will she have the MRI?

reallyreallyreallyreally · 20/06/2017 20:14

Stay calm until you know whether there's anything to panic about...

Can you try some deep breathing? Anyone you can talk to in RL?

memyselfandisolodjsjajaj · 20/06/2017 20:14

Sending you positive energy & lovely thoughts! I'm thinking of you & your daughter! Please do update

BuzzKillington · 20/06/2017 20:15

How terrifying. I am the type to whip myself into a frenzy of terror, so am no good at talking you down - but I hope she gets results really soon and there is good news.

Fairylea · 20/06/2017 20:16

Flowers For you.

There are lots of things it could be rather than what you're fearing. I have pituitary problems that sometimes show up in my eyes (am very short sighted too, -9.50 both eyes) and have been referred for MRI scans before. They've come back normal. Try not to worry.

Original poster
PanickedMum · 20/06/2017 20:35

Thank you all for replying. The scan is next week. She's asked me to go with her, which I will obviously, but I don't know how. My legs turn to jelly when I think of it, sitting there, watching and waiting for signs from the staff like I've seen before.

OP posts:
meadowlark3 · 20/06/2017 20:39

Sometimes urgent referrals are made based on a prior history. It might be that there was just something a wee bit off in her eye exam and because of her childhood tumour, they are taking extra precautions with the MRI next week.

Holding your hand. Flowers

hairymuffet · 20/06/2017 21:05

Handhold here x

Original poster
PanickedMum · 20/06/2017 21:32

If they had said MRI just to be on the safe side due to a few headaches or something I'd be ok. I'm freaking out because it's due to the optician writing to the doctor re clinical signs. I don't think the optician would even have known her medical history. She's not been married long, she went to the GP to have her contraceptive implant out. She's been so happy in her life, just got onto a really great career path after struggling so hard through school and early work life due to her childhood illness. It's been really hard for her and she's finally winning and now this.
.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 20/06/2017 22:35

It must be really tough for both you and her. I hope all goes well.

Flowers
Tootyfilou · 20/06/2017 22:52

Thinking of you and hoping everything will be ok. x

Mommasoph · 21/06/2017 09:34

Keep us posted lovely ! I'll let you all know how I get on . Woke up with foggy head but. It sure if stress or something else 😫 Gonna drink plenty water xx

CremeFresh · 21/06/2017 09:41

So difficult not to think the worse I know but it could be nothing xx

An optician wanted to send me to hospital because of high pressure in my eyes , another optician rechecked and said they were fine , the first optician was just being over cautious. Hopefully this is the case for your DD . Flowers

Mommasoph30 · 21/06/2017 09:43

Sorry posted this on your thread thinking it was mine,
At least she is getting looked into urgently try not to worry too much easier said than done i know, Fingers crossed she is ok and please keep us posted.

Original poster
PanickedMum · 21/06/2017 10:15

Sorry to cause confusion re threads Momma Flowers

She hasn't got symptoms at the moment, it's just the eye signs.

Trying to believe the chances of recurrence are so small this is more likely to be about some kind residual effect linked to her prior surgery.

OP posts:
cheeseandpineapple · 21/06/2017 10:18

Sorry to hear what's happening OP. Must be hard to put a brave face on for your daughter when you're feeling so worried. You've got time to process your emotions and be prepared just in case the news isn't what you hope for next week.

If something has been picked up it's good that it's been on the basis of a routine exam rather than based on any symptoms as that suggests it is at an early stage. Which would make anything that might have reoccurred highly treatable just as it was when she was younger. Plus there will have been so many advancements in 20 years too.

It's a horrible situation to be in and as mums we often have to show our children we are strong and in control when we absolutely don't feel it but you've been through this before with a positive outcome and if you need to again you will be able to do the same. Even though you may not feel it right now.

You have hit rock bottom before and at that time couldn't have predicted where your daughter would be 20 years later but she is in a good place now and even if she has to go through some kind of treatment it's from a position of strength and control not weakness or after obvious signs of something.

Stay strong OP, it's a different set of circumstances from before and you can afford to be positive.

vickifaith · 21/06/2017 10:26

My daughter had a brain tumour and often when she goes to the optician they see something different behind her eyes...the same with her MRI results! To go through a brain tumour, treatment and removal leaves lasting damage/marks - something other 'healthy' people wouldn't have. Try not to worry they probably saw as you say- residual damage and panicked - they tend to with things like this! Cover there bums and refer just to be sure. Sending love and best wishes xx

Original poster
PanickedMum · 21/06/2017 11:07

Cheese thank you for your kind and thoughtful post. You are so right, I had a cry.

Vicki, I said to DD we don't know if the optician has picked up on something which has been there since her surgery, maybe their equipment has improved. I'm less calmed by that idea since the neurologist agreed with the findings, but she did have a scan about 7 years ago after her eye turned after exercising, and they said no changes. It's so hard to watch your child suffer isn't it.

OP posts:
joannegrady90 · 21/06/2017 11:10

No advice but thinking of you opFlowers

Babbitywabbit · 21/06/2017 18:16

I think cheese says it all. Of course you're going to feel terrified; there is nothing worse than watching your child go through something so difficult. But hold onto the fact that as she's having routine eye tests, whatever has been noticed has been picked up quickly. Also medical techniques, procedures and equipment have progressed hugely over the last 20 years, so it could be something which just wouldn't have been noticed before. The more someone is looked at, the more chances there are something will be spotted- even when it turns out completely harmless.

Different situation but one of my dc was scanned regularly while I was pregnant because of a problem. To add to what was an already hugely stressful time, a couple of other things were spotted from the scans, which turned out to be inconsequential. In fact one issue had righted itself before birth. I remember the doctor saying that basically, once someone is being observed in any way, all sorts of things tend to be found which in other circumstances you'd never know about.

Keep telling yourself that within a week or so, you won't be feeling like this. You will have knowledge, and whether that's a complete all clear, or something that needs treating, you will have moved past this awful limbo.

Flowers
cheeseandpineapple · 21/06/2017 22:39

OP, I didn't mean to make you cry! But it's good to cry and hopefully will have helped release some of your anxiety.

Also hope there is nothing to worry about next week. Keep us posted and if you have any wobbles along the way share them with us. Part of coping and being strong is facing your fears head on and not suppressing them. You don't want to be tested on how strong you can be but if it comes to it, you'll draw on those deep reserves automatically.

Keeping everything crossed for you and your daughter X

augustusglupe · 22/06/2017 23:13

Didn't want to just read and not say that, I'm thinking about you and your DD. I have a grown up DD also. I know it's a scary time love but I agree with others that said they're probably being ultra careful considering your DDs previous history. I'm also a rubbish talker downer!! Thinking of you and hoping all is well next week x

minmooch · 22/06/2017 23:34

I sincerely hope that it is not the brain tumour's return. All you can both do is sit and wait it out. No point saying don't worry - you will worry until you are told otherwise.

Love and strength to you both as you sit it out. Xx

sufficatedsue · 22/06/2017 23:48

Hope everything is ok OP

My boy has a low grade brain tumour. He's recently finished chemotherapy. Like you i worry about the future for him. We've been told there's a high chance he'll need chemo again, his Tumour is inoperable Sad

I'm thinking of you and your daughter OP xxxx

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