do you mind if i ofload? i've had a shitter of a day

[Tortington]

my son has sever stomach pains - it's been going on for 4 weeks. i have seen the gp 3 times in those 4 weeks.

1st time they said it was constipation - he's not a good pooer! he was given a laxative.

this gave him diahorrea. he was frightened of crapping himself at school.

stomach pains conintinued. i took him back to doctors who said it was probably too much laxative and to stop ( i already had) and it weould right itself.

it didn't. i went back yesterday and he gave a urine sample and an appointment for today for a blood sample to be taken.

again i o today to doctors nurse takes a blood sample. come home - he is shouting in pain. i take him to hospital.

we wait for 3.4 of an hour the nurse says she has made another appt with gp with afternoon at 4.40 as he is under the care of the gp i cant bypass the system.

you would think i would be good in these situations and be forthright and assertive. i am however the opposite and instead of saying "please help me my son is in so much pain he can hardly walk" i just nodded and we left.

i have bought more painkillers. but i am reluctant to give them to him until he is desperate becuase i can't keep medicating him with paracetemol over a long period of time, i'm afraid i may cause his liver some damage.

the stomach pains keep him up at night and he is becoming phobic about food becuase of the pain it causes when it digests.

i just cried in the car driving home.

on top of that.

got aphone call from my uncle. My nan (87) is very ill again and wants to go to hospital to die.

i phoned her and she said the same thing to me. she sounds very odd. i am 300 miles away. i went up only 2 weeks ago becuase she was admitted to hospital (bels palsey it turned out)

i work full time and i am finding it increasingly difficult to juggle everything.

i had 4 weeks off with depression due to circumstances i can't go into. its the end of the financial year - so i have no holidays left.

i had just got back from sickleave when nan becuase ill. and i had to go up north.

now i have a major piece of work to do at work - and i am using all tactics to get time off to get to doctors with my son who is 13 yo btw.

i don't want to not see my nan before she dies. she brought me up - i can't tell you how much she means to me. i will need to use compasionate leave when she dies to help sort things out. so that avenue is closed.

i think i will see what this evening brings in relation to son status & nan hospital dying status.and then what this weekend brings. try and sort out my workload for next week. work like a good'un to get things done. and see if i can get a long weekend up north the weekend after. Where i am always putting on people - so someone has to put me up etc.

thanks for listening, i feel useless

Phone my sis now, do you still have her number?

Could ds have a stomach ulcer? Is the pain in his stomach or to one side? Can you call NHS Direct? Again, sis might be able to help you here, she's very good when one of mine has an unidentified bug.

I'm ill today too mate, home from work. Ds has also been sent ill from nursery. Dh doesn't get in until 7pm. I really do feel crappier than crap, but sounds like your day beats mine for crappiest hands down.

Email me your grans number, I'll give her a call tonight.

Oh custardo.

I don't have anything helpful to suggest but wanted to give you a hug.

{{hugs}}

oh custy

do you have a decent boss? can you talk things through with them at all? work from home at all? flexible hours maybe? i guess it's hard if you've been off a long time too.

i have every sympathy re. your nan. my gran brought me up too. she's 85 and lives 2 hours away. it's a constant headache. we're trying to persuade her to move down to us. a few months ago i was ready to ask work to transfer me up there.

rhubarb she sounds funny peculiar - she didn't want to speakt o me for long. shes in bed. your sis can't do anything i have her number. thanks
sorry your feeling shite
thanks mamama

Go back to hospital & have a sit in if you have to. What if it was bloody appendicitis or something?
Your nan sounds depressed. Older people often use the "I want to die" line when they are feeling very low and want someone to talk to and some sympathy. Bells palsy isn't a serious complaint, but her depression is making her feel worse.
What is your uncle doing to help her? You're not the only one in the family who can visit, phone etc. I know you are very close to her, I was in exactly the same situation with my nan, but other people need to help too.

I don't know what to say.

You son is sounding very much like my DD... she has had stomach pains for a week now - its gone from constipation to diahorrea naturally, so if it is a nasty bug thing lurking (and hopefully the hospital will find that) then my heart goes out to your son because the D would have been soo much worse with laxatives

Your gran - what would work do with you being signed off with more sick? Thinking compassionate leave to go and see her now, and then often doctors would sign you off with grief afterwards (with the knowledge that she raised you).

I'm not up north, if I were I would offer a sofa to sleep on.

xxx

poor you.
sometimes these things go together - what's your boss/colleagues like? there was no question of me having to think about workload or asking if i could leave when my dad died (i'd been up north the day before and come back to london because of the uncertainty of when he would die..in fact it was the next day and I got there in time to see him) - partly because my boss's mum died last spring and she is very understanding anyway.
bear in mind all of these family things could make you ill, so it's in your employers' interests to give you enough support to get through all of this, xxx
ps hope the dr's with your son goes well

She can perhaps arrange for your gran to have a visit from the warden?

I wonder if your gran has a bug and it's got her really down? Especially after the bells palsy. I found that with my gran, every time she got ill she thought that was it, it was her time to go. She actually made herself worse thinking like that.

Perhaps I should send her a card with my sis's number on it so she has someone to call?

In ds, ask him if the pain is in the lower right hand side of his belly.

Look here for info about abdominal pain in kids, causes and treatment.

Custardo where in the country are you?

Are there any mnetters that can help you by at least making sure you have food etc.

I'm sorry things are so bad altogether. I hope one of the elements starts to improve so that the whole becomes more manageable.

Best wishes and thoughts to you.

thanks all.

i phoned nhs direct. a nurse will phone me back.

good idea - i forgot about them.

the warden goes anyway. my aunty has it under control.

i think your right regarding the depression for nan. will wait to see what comes of this weekend.

thanks again

ta neena - we have food we're ok. i think this is just a case of me offloading and you notbeing able to help.

thanks for listening

custardo huge hugs to you, know how you feel about your nan as mine brought me up and is terminal so waiting to die which is horrendous. I hope you manage to get your Ds sorted and find out what is wrong.

If I can help this weekend just give me a call.

Let us know what the nurse says. Stomach ache is very difficult to diagnose and many doctors think that teenagers make it up just to bunk off school, like I did! YOU know your ds however and I think you might have to put your professional head on and go in guns blazing.

how is school for him btw?

Custy, sorry it's all so crappy at the moment, hope your ds is sorted soon.

Please insist that he gets examined for appendicitis. Early adolescence is the prime age for it - happened to me - weeks and weeks of stomach pain, led to peritonitis in the end. I was 13. I'm fine now!

One symptom of mine that should have been picked up was that I'd have these excruciating pains (without sickness) and then suddenly it would all ease - obviously it was the blockage. So easy to confuse with constipation.

Good luck mate. You don't need this shit.
Wish there was something I could do.

yes my thoughts exactly about school. i am very much a "cut the crap and stop yer bloody whinging" kind of parent the kind which says after seeing horrible skateboarding graze up 2/3rds of leg " i've had bigger cuts on mi arse!"

so he was send home from school yesterday. and on the way home i told him that i could teach him at hme part time. i had worked out that if i do compressed hours i get one day off a fortnight. along with annual leave thats another day making one day a week. i could work from home another day my boss is fairly fab and i'm sure i could wangle this. - so thats 2 days as i wouldnt really be working from home! - and he said no. he wanted to go to school he loves it he has friends. he hates that learning stuff part - but socially loves it.

i'm quite careful not to give in to any power relationship - like - if a kids ill they get sympathy and time off school, mummy loves them and they get home made soup and lots of attention.etc

i dont do that!

he's asleep now - thats a blessing. he's very much a boys don't cry kinda boy. bbut hes been crying and shouting in pain.

i knew the hosipatl would say that to me.

my eldest son had an appendicitis. i thin this 2under care of gp" thing is confusing matters - wish i had just took him to casualty fuckin gps are useless. when the tests come back in 48 hours if its an infection they will give him antibiotics.

I think bink might be on to somethine here custy.
Can't think of any practical advice but am so sorry to hear of the rubbish time you are having, truly XXX

custy, ring the out of hrs gp (hopefully you will get a different one) and tell them you're petrified because of your family history, he could get peritonitis. s/he will probably want to see him then...

Bastard hospitals know nothing!

You've got to psychologically switch yourself off from their authoritarian attitudes, they are no better than you. Look at how many mistakes they make with their diagnoses!

Get stroppy, they soon back down if you do this. He needs to be seen sooner rather than later. Can you not get someone to go to the hospital with you as back-up? See what NHS Direct say, they can sometimes phone the hospital in advance to let them know you are on your way. Or even better, they can order an ambulance for you and they are very good at not taking no for an answer!