do you mind if i ofload? i've had a shitter of a day

[Tortington]

my son has sever stomach pains - it's been going on for 4 weeks. i have seen the gp 3 times in those 4 weeks.

1st time they said it was constipation - he's not a good pooer! he was given a laxative.

this gave him diahorrea. he was frightened of crapping himself at school.

stomach pains conintinued. i took him back to doctors who said it was probably too much laxative and to stop ( i already had) and it weould right itself.

it didn't. i went back yesterday and he gave a urine sample and an appointment for today for a blood sample to be taken.

again i o today to doctors nurse takes a blood sample. come home - he is shouting in pain. i take him to hospital.

we wait for 3.4 of an hour the nurse says she has made another appt with gp with afternoon at 4.40 as he is under the care of the gp i cant bypass the system.

you would think i would be good in these situations and be forthright and assertive. i am however the opposite and instead of saying "please help me my son is in so much pain he can hardly walk" i just nodded and we left.

i have bought more painkillers. but i am reluctant to give them to him until he is desperate becuase i can't keep medicating him with paracetemol over a long period of time, i'm afraid i may cause his liver some damage.

the stomach pains keep him up at night and he is becoming phobic about food becuase of the pain it causes when it digests.

i just cried in the car driving home.

on top of that.

got aphone call from my uncle. My nan (87) is very ill again and wants to go to hospital to die.

i phoned her and she said the same thing to me. she sounds very odd. i am 300 miles away. i went up only 2 weeks ago becuase she was admitted to hospital (bels palsey it turned out)

i work full time and i am finding it increasingly difficult to juggle everything.

i had 4 weeks off with depression due to circumstances i can't go into. its the end of the financial year - so i have no holidays left.

i had just got back from sickleave when nan becuase ill. and i had to go up north.

now i have a major piece of work to do at work - and i am using all tactics to get time off to get to doctors with my son who is 13 yo btw.

i don't want to not see my nan before she dies. she brought me up - i can't tell you how much she means to me. i will need to use compasionate leave when she dies to help sort things out. so that avenue is closed.

i think i will see what this evening brings in relation to son status & nan hospital dying status.and then what this weekend brings. try and sort out my workload for next week. work like a good'un to get things done. and see if i can get a long weekend up north the weekend after. Where i am always putting on people - so someone has to put me up etc.

thanks for listening, i feel useless

that sounds very dogdy Custy.

Get in there and give them hell. If it was something to do with reflux/acid indigestion, the gaviscon would have at least had some effect by now.

Poor custy's DS.

Fuck that! Go & camp out... demand they do something???? X-rays? Stool sample?

I dunno if anyone else has suggested Chrons disease? My brother has it... your son sounds familiar.

ring the ward and ask (in tears if necessary) to speak to a senior nurse or preferably the consultant over the phone because you are absolutely out of your mind with worry. ask specific things: what tests have already been done, what did they say? what are the next options in tests? when will they be ready? what can they do right now to make him more comfortable?

btw is he being looked after on a general ward or a gastro-intestinal one?

of course you're fuming. did your dh even mention more tests? did he mention the gaviscon already isn't working so why would it now?

Absolutely awful treatment. I would take him back and insist they discover the cause of the problem. Make a real fuss if necessary!

dh is so full of bullshit, tarting saying stuff like doctors know what they are doing - he was seen by a peadiactric specialist and on and on.

i just ended up in tears in the car - becuase i have to go to car to have a row over phone i can't do it in the office! and told him that he can sort it out next time.

he told me ds had great nights sleep

then he says he was woke up every hour or so being checked to make sure he was ok ( trying to give me bullshit about amt of care he was getting)

i'm so angry i'm practically apopleptic, spent all fucking day yesterday from doctors to casualty to doctors again to hospital.

and he gets gavisgon.

dh has done wrong - he is trying so hard to justify his wank decision that he has convinced himself he was right.

i've gone from thinking " leave it and move on" to " i'm gonna kick his fucking arse when i get home"

starts spinning me some bullshit about the thining of the stomach lining - IKNOW fuckhead i was there last night when they said exactly the same thing - i still maintain that further tests should be done after all doctors can't see through skin and arn't fucking phychic.

Custy, does your lad have any other symptoms apart from pain and loss of appetite?
Trying to think of questions you can ask at the hospital.

Custy - try to calm down - just a little, if anything for DS's sake

I am sure your DH wasn't being negligent, some people are just blinded by white coats and invisible science. FWIW I am sure my DH would have done exactly the same thing.

How is your DS now? If he is still in pain, I would get back down that hospital asap and shout until somebody sees you and explores all the test/options thoroughly.

Go easy on your DH. I am sure he was trying his best.

oh gawd Custardo, don't know what to suggest re. ds but there's no point getting mad at dh although I ca see how tempting it is... what's done is doen and all that...
How does your ds feel today?

custy you are being a great mum. I agree you shouldn't have to deal with all this but also with the comment that men get blinded by white coats. Bundle made a great suggestion about phoning the ward. Sometimes you can get more helpful information from the nursing staff if they see you, some insist you'll have to speak to a doctor.

All I could think of doing if that doesn't help would be to take your son back to a&e and asking if he could see a gastroenterologist instead of the paediatrician. If you and/or he can manage to burst into tears while you are there it may help. So might telling them they will be dealing with your nervous breakdown unless they do some more tests on your son.

You might try lactase to see if that helps (easiest way to get lactase in a hurry is gripe water but he'd need to drink a lot of it, holland & barrett sell lactase tablets in large branches), if it does he may have lactose problems. I don't think that's the answer but it is something to try and rule out.

thanks all, going to see how it goes.

thank you for all being wonderful

Oh Custy-only just seen this and really feel for you.
I think you have been given some excellent advice here so not much I can add except I really hope DS improves soon and your GM is having just a teporary blip.

agree that you should phone ward tonight if problems continue. once your ds has been an inpatient they will be aware of him. And the staff there should be happy to talk to you and be able to readmit if necesaary. Dont give up Custy - you can do this. xxxxx

thank you. ds is feeling a little better. although his blood pressure is still high. he is still pale.

nan has been admitted to a home for a week respite care. i found out by accident when i phoned my uncle - i think thats what upset me. aunty said dont send flowers cos they put them n the lounge area and it would be a waste of money so i am sending her a round robin family letter thing in a larger typeface. she wants to come home she's only been there a day. shes a lot better today i think that she's on a mission to get out of that place. so thats good i suppose.

thanks

Custy sorry you are having such a shit time

Most workplaces will only give compassionate leave for one-relative-removed i.e. parent/brother/child.

Would be worth checking this out now to avoid a crisis nearer the time ... I missed my Gran's funeral because I wasn't allowed compassionate or unpaid leave ... wish I'd planned it better now.

Oh Custy mate! So sorry this is happening to you! I feel so bloody helpless mate. I'm still laid low, I had flu which has moved onto my chest. Can't drive to get to doctors so stuck in here again.

Will phone you. I know what you mean about dh's not pulling their weight though, if it's any consolation mine doesn't either. I always have to fight our corner, always. He just sits there and lets me get on with it. He hardly ever sticks up for himself or any of us. Until recently he even said that perhaps I was being the unreasonable one with my mother! He would avoid confrontation at all costs. If the kids are ill it's me who pushes for them to see the doctor and then I question everything. He wouldn't take them to the doctor. When dd had her chest infection I was at work and he was meant to be caring for her, he was adament that it was all in her head and she should be back at school. But I pushed and pushed for him to take her to the docs and he did eventually - doc said it was a really bad infection and we had to keep a close eye on her, she had abs. Imagine if he had just left her!

Men are bloody useless mate when it comes to this kind of thing. There are few men on this planet that would question a doctor. Us, their mothers, we know our children best and we won't accept anything but the best for them.

It is exhausting having to carry this all by yourself. Is there anyone, anyone at all who could go to the hospital with you? A teacher even? Just someone to give you support?

Custy, just spoken to your lovely boy, sounds like he has this a peptic ulcer in his stomach. Poor lad says you've been telling him to drink orange juice!

This does look like a likely cause. How do you feel about it all mate? You're at work today I know so you'll probably skive off at some point to look at this!

It's a good job you pushed mate, gaviscon would have done f all to treat this and if left untreated it could have had serious consequences! So although it was hard work and you must have felt like banging your head off a concrete wall, you got there in the end and you saved your ds from possible surgery. So a huge pat on the back for you and the finger for them!

So sorry you are having a crap, crap, crap time.
Thinking of you & sending compassionate vibes.
All, I can think of to say, is that situations never stay the same. Hopefully yours will get better very soon.

Hi Custy how did things go with your DH last night, hoep you are feeling ok. I can completely sympathise with you abiut being assertive with dr's its so difficult but if this continues you have to keep pushing. I really hope your ds is feeling better xx

Good vibes for Custy please!

I just don't get Rhubarb's message. Gaviscon is an antacid so you don't take it with fizzy drinks or fruit juice. It might constipate him so he needs to be drinking lots of plain water or herbal tea.

I hope he's feeling better.

I can't believe I didn't see this You poor thing If there is anything I can do let me know as I am really near you Absolutely anything BTW extreme pain causes high blood pressure so it will hopefully come down when he is out of pain.xx

tatt - the docs sent him home with gaviscon when he was screaming in pain.

If he has an ulcer, gaviscon ain't gonna cure it. But he has 'special medicine' he was telling me so hopefully he'll improve.

How's your boy, custy?