Excessively skinny/anorexic looking dd - anyone experienced this /have any advice

NotQuiteCockney · 03/02/2007 22:10

Hmmm, my five-year-old is just over three stone, and tall. He is really quite thin and bony. I can see his ribs, I can see his spinal column.

But he's active and healthy and eats well. He's clearly fine. It's just how he is.

Original poster

lisalisa · 03/02/2007 22:13

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NotQuiteCockney · 04/02/2007 06:28

She's probably eating so well, because she's putting the weight back on (at least a bit), it just takes time.

Are you steering her towards higher-cal foods? I would, a bit, if I was concerned. The fatty bits on meat help, as do avocadoes, bananas, anythinig carby and fatty, really.

Why wasn't she eating well in the last year? Was it a power struggle thing?

(I think actual anorexia is hard for a five-year-old to have ... she'd have to think she was very fat, and be trying to fix it ... you probably already know this, right?)

SauerKraut · 04/02/2007 06:31

Could you ask your doctor if he included a tes t for coeliac disease?

lissielousknockedupatlast · 04/02/2007 08:35

anorexia isnt about looking fat tho, its about control. i was anorexic at 6 and its surprising how easy it is to trick people into thinking that you are eating well.

meowmix · 04/02/2007 08:54

I only weighed 4 stone when I was 16 and didn't really put on any weight until I went on the pill. Just one of those very scrawny kids. Had a high-cal diet (including daily complan - bleurgh) but was actually healthy and happy just thin. So it can happen. I was always on the go, loads of nervous energy.

All through adulthood I've had to watch what I eat in order not to lose weight, until I was breastfeeding when I took that whole eating for two thing a bit seriously....

not sure if that helps, but sometimes kids just are skinny for no reason

NAB3 · 04/02/2007 08:58

My son is 6 in March and weighs 3 stone 4. He is thin but not worryingly so.

Judy1234 · 04/02/2007 09:03

Sometimes children do get anorexia, young children. You need to make sure she isn't just getting chicken, veg and rice if you want her to put weight on but milk shakes with 500 calories a time probably if she is badly under weight. My brother is a psychiatrist who specialises in eating disorders and I know it can start quite young but it may not be this here at all and a fuss over food, giving her attention because of it etc etc I suppose could be very counter productive too but if you 're losing loads of weight then parents have to intervene of course. Make sure you watch her at home to see she's eating without her noticing.

If you want to know if she's underweight and by how much just look at some child weight charts on line.

I can't remember my children's weights at that age. one of my twins is very skinny and his non identical twin is a rugby playing, firm chest, six pack sort of boy but not over weight. Their weights have always been very different but I'm not worried about the thin one as it's not dangerously underweight.

brimfull · 04/02/2007 09:10

I think the Dr would be testing for a malabsorption problem such as coeliac disease ,how are her bowel movements?

tortoiseSHELL · 04/02/2007 09:23

Hi lisalisa - my 5 year old boy has periods of looking skeletal - he is 5.8, and weighs 2stone10 or there abouts. I think he DOES have some sort of food phobia, BUT I think I also get plenty into him - he is just ridiculously active - he never stops running or jumping, so he burns off everything.

Hope things improve for you!

Original poster

lisalisa · 05/02/2007 14:03

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rocketqueen · 05/02/2007 14:08

My 5 year old is 3 stone too, very boney, visible ribs etc but he's happy, lively (very lively!) and healthy so I don't worry anymore.

Bozza · 05/02/2007 14:19

lisa I can see why you are worried. I could come on here and tell you about my 5yo who is very thin - ribs all on show, vertabrae on show, big shoulder bones protruding but I think he is standard for his age, he eats well and exercises well. He is not tall, but big boned and weighs about 3 stone 3. But I think you have older children so will be used to this but obviously something doesn't ring right with you. I would keep watching your DD because that plate incident sounds a bit worrying. Also I would keep up the little acts of kindness and one to one with her. And try more fattening food - chicken and rice and veg sounds like what I would eat if I was on a diet! What about things in a cheese sauce? And rice pudding with full fat milk or even cream?

frogs · 05/02/2007 14:29

Lisa my Polish grandma used to do high-calorie milkshakes in the mixer: banana, tiny bit of cinnamon and milk/cream, or even ice cream. Make sure you use blue-top milk, or even gold top if you can still get that. Or just mix in extra cream and sugar.

You can add cream to loads of things soups, yoghurt, sauces, dressings. Creme fraiche is good if you're doing savoury food. Providing lots of snacks might be worth trying I'm normally a demon for not letting the children eat between meals, but recently I've been providing ds (7) with a steady supply of biscuits and hot chocolate at intervals throughout the day he was ill on and off for weeks before Christmas, and looked awfully skinny and pasty. I did buy some of that malt extract you can get from the chemist which is meant to be an old-fashioned tonic, but I'm afraid he refused to touch it, even though I thought it smelt appealingly toffee-ish. We had more success with the Seven Seas fish oil and Vit C mixture sort of thick orange flavour and texture.

Dottydot · 05/02/2007 14:38

My 5.2ds is also 3 stone - he's thin - you can see his ribs and spine - not an oz of fat on him, but despite being a 9lb baby he's pretty much always been skinny. He's a fussy eater but I don't worry about his weight 'cos he's always got tons of energy and eats about 3 bowls of cereal in the mornings.

Does your dd have lots of energy - how's she coping in primary school?

EnidLloydFoxe · 05/02/2007 14:43

dd1 is 7 and weighs 3 stone

she is very very thin - a bit fussy about food but she eats plenty

she is hugely active

nothing wrong with it IMO

FatFikAndFugly · 05/02/2007 14:47

my 4yo weighs nearly 3.5 stone, wear age 5-6 clothes and I would say she's a little chubster.

I think if children are happy and healthy and eating well, which you say she is, I wouldn't worry. Speak to your GP (did you do this and I just missed it?) and see what they think

Anchovy · 05/02/2007 14:52

My DS is 5.4 and 19.5kgs which I think makes him just on 3 stone as well. Is that really that light? Out of complete interest the other day I looked up his red book and for a boy he was spot on the 50th centile - so I think for a girl it would be above 50th centile. DS is on the 90+ centile height wise, so he does look very skinny, and there is a big disparity between his height and weight, but he is healthy and lively and has good skin and hair and doesn't get colds or run down that often, so we are just living with it.

Like your DD he was a very "bonny" baby - in fact as a toddler he had exactly the same dimensions as a small boulder. He also has a large bowl of porridge with maple syrup and 2 slices of toast with lemon curd for breakfast, a good packed lunch and a full, hot tea after school. I'm pretty sure with him he is in a metabolic/growth phase where the ampount he is eating is only enough to keep him going but not enough to put weight on him.

DS is allowed a reasonable amount of home made cakes (flap jack, banana bread, carrot cake, oat cookies etc). Peanut butter in things or on wholemeal toast is also another winner. Interestingly he will often say he is full and, for example, leave half of his pudding. In the long run I think that recognising and obeying your appetite is a good thing, even though he occasionally could do with the calories.

I'd keep the behaviour things completely separate. Sounds like you are doing all the right things.

One thing, what build are you and your DH? although I am relatively chunky, DH is like a whippet and DS may just have inherited this.

Mumpbump · 05/02/2007 14:53

I was going to say that I was always a skinny child and I remember my parents/grandparents going on and on about my stick thin legs and that some children just are skinny.

BUT I agree that the plate incident does sound worrying because it obviously suggests that she is not just naturally skinny, but is concealing the fact that she is not eating. My dsd used to do this occasionally (and she is definitely not skinny) if she didn't like the food. I would try to check the bins (without being seen to) to see how regularly it is happening. And if she is throwing stuff in the bin regularly, don't say anything or she will simply find another way to dispose of it and then you'll have no idea how often it's happening. But it would suggest that you might need to seek some expert help...

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 05/02/2007 15:05

as a child I was extremely skinny and I had no appetite. In fact I was made to take appetite stimulants which had no effect what so ever (this was when I was 5). I was healthy, happy, and others made more of an issue out of my weight/eating habbits than needed to be made IMO. I vividly remember being made to sit at the table until I had eaten, this was at boarding school which I attended from the age of 5.

When I got older the school counsellors used to call me in and ask whether I had issues with my weight and whether I felt that I needed to be that skinny - no I didn't have issues, I simply didn't have a very big appetite, and if I did eat big meals, I had such a fast metabolism that I never gained weight. Ever.

When I was 19 I weighed just under 7 stone and wore size 6 clothes. And then I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid, and the medication I was given to counteract it made me put on weight at an alarming rate - I actually weighed 8 stone! and the first thing my mother said to me was "it's such a shame, you used to have such a lovely figure".

Oh to have that metabolism now! I actually weight just over 9 stone now having just lost a stone through dieting.

I would try not to worry too much about it. I would ask about getting her thyroid checked as the consultant said to me that it's possible my thyroid was always on the slightly overactive side hence my skinnyness as a child, but I would try not to make too big a deal out of food. I still remember being made to eat and it was horrible. And there was no way I could ever have been anorexic - I love food too much.

Mercy · 05/02/2007 15:07

Lisalisa, my dd is also very skinny, prone to dramatics but she eats like a horse.

I think perhaps some more time alone with you might be a good idea. I know my dd appreciates this more than anything as I think she feels pushed out by her younger brother (he is with me all day whilst she is at school and therefore she and I rarely have anytime together). We just go shopping or to a cafe, the cinema, etc

Is your dd a little and often type eater?

Madoldcatlady · 05/02/2007 18:02

I agree with wannaBe. I would take your DD to the gp to be tested for hyperthroidism.

DD1 was dignosed with this at 5yrs old. The hospital docs were pretty sure the tests would come back clear as she wasn't hyperactive at all and sat sweetly in their office to be examined. However-he almost fell off his chair when he read the results. Her thyroid levels were through the roof.

It is very uncommon for children to have hyperthyroidism, but the signs to look out for can be-

hyperactivity
poor sleeper (DD managed about 4 hours a night)
huge appetite
weight loss/failure to gain weight
mood swings and aggression (we had this BIG time)
goitre (lump in the throat where the thyroid gland is)
palpitations
rapid pulse rate
tremors
others, but I can't think just now.

it is highly treatable and nothing to worry about if it's diagnosed. DD takes daily medication and has regular blood tests. She looks like a candidate for a partial thyroidectomy if things don't settle down of their own accord after puberty,but we'll cross that bridge if/when we need to.

Califrau · 05/02/2007 18:19

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Madoldcatlady · 05/02/2007 18:22

Heat intolerance, (DD always wore summer weight clothes by choice, even in winter)

Sweating.

Poor concentration/deterioration in school work.(DD was in reception when her witch of a teacher constantly complained that DD refused to co-operate in class and required a statement!!) (bitch, I still hate her for the way she bullied DD)

Do any of the symptoms tally with your DD?

EnidLloydFoxe · 05/02/2007 18:23

yes tis true

she was skeletal I think she weighed 2 stone 5 puonds (after illness)

yes I had success - she stopped looking so ill and peopel stopped commenting

but she is obv naturally skinny too