Got to be namechanged for, this is the most humilliating thing I have ever had to deal with

[willNEVERtell]

Testing

It sounds AWFUL and you have my every sympathy- but this kind of thing is what doctors are for.

He/she will almost certainly be totally sympathetic and in any case will not bat an eyelid.

Please do go, you need some treatment.

You wouldn't believe how common bowel problems are

embarrassingproblems.co.uk

wNt, when I had to go ti the GP about something that upset and embarrassed me so much that I couldn't talk about it, I wrote down as much as I could bear to and handed her the note as soon as I entered the consultibg room. That way I didn't have to start it and bring up the subject myself. It was much easier answering questions than straightforward talking.

HTH

{{{hugs}}}

How horrid for you....I had ibs and it was horrid...dh had it too a few years ago and often had some skid marks on his pants so you are not alone...

Please see a doctor, a nice doctor, if I want a nice doctor I call up and ask for one and usually they are very nice when it comes to embarrassing things...

The continence nurse will understand that, he/she will appreciate the sensitivity of the nature of your symptoms. You will not be the first person presenting with these symptoms who feels totally isolated and ashamed of them.

Agree that the Dr won't bat an eyelid and will undoubtedly be sympathetic. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to you but part of their every day experience.

I had some problems with my bowel after having my first baby. Not incontinence per se, but got next to no warning when I needed to go. I saw the GP who was fab and referred me to a specialist. It did improve with time and lots of exercises. I do know how embarrassing it can be to talk about these things.

Hope you get places with the continence nurse and if not speak to GP on the phone if it's easier.

Hope things improve soon xxx

Please don't be embarrassed to get help. If any other part of your body went wrong and was leaking blood or milk or saliva you wouldn't hesitate to get help. It is out of your control and you need medical help. I have long since ceased to be embarrassed by what comes out of my body. Now what rubbish comes out of my mouth is another matter and I'm supposed to have complete control over that....

{{{{hugs}}}}

I sort of know how you feel (but in a silly attempt to make you feel normal I will not name change!!) (may regret this later but hey ho...

I had a problem with AF a few years back and a couple of time couldnt walk the kids to school because I was flooding (and I mean flood!! sorry about TMI) every 30 minutes. I sort advice and it sorted its self out after a while.

If you cant ring Doc write a note and say you are embarrassed. They will understand

As your not taking DC to school dont worry DC can learn more sitting at home with you or else can have a well earned rest away from all the bugs and germs in school.

Take Care

Engaged but will ring back

am afraid it goes a bit beyond skidmarks IMM

He is only 4 and has gone for a nap anyway, so maybe he isn't as over the cold as I thought he was.

Thats a good idea Pretty candles. I do that when I need to talk to my boss about any problems . Its better than crying etc. whilst trying to talk.

Well done on calling the nurse.

WNT - so sorry you are so upset.
My 'is that you, WNT' was to acknowledge that you have indeed changed your name.

Oh all right, and becuae I couldnt' resist it!

I had colitis in my 20's - and was surprised how very badly it affected my self-confidence and self-esteem - so I do know how 'not like yourself' and horrified you must be feeling.

Once you have broached it with your Dr it will seem so much more easy to talk about. it's the intial deep breath and firts sentence that is hard. But a good Dr will help you talk about it. Could you make an appointment with a Dr you don't usually see at your practice, so that you willl never need to talk to them again?

And of course , a Dr will be able to help you get this sorted out, very quickly, so don't let yourself suffer any longer.

And meanwhile stuff your pants with whatever, wear a long coat, and take your DC to school. No-one can see what is going on in your pants!

Is there really no one in RL you could talk to, who could then go with you to the GP and hold your hand or talk on your behalf? If you can't tell them face to face, what about writing it down (or linking to this thread?) and letting them read it.

I know it won't really help but they have seen far far worse, and whilst it's embarrassing and humiliating for you, they won't raise an eyebrow. Believe me, I've done it! Nothing to the degree of yours, but similar (and thankfully fixed by my prolapse op, most humiliating summer ever where I was convinced I must smell of poo all the time)

Look at it another way, if it is something more serious than IBS, how crap are you going to feel if you put your health and life in danger over this? If you delay going until it's too late?

If you're anywhere near me (s.london) then I'm more than happy to come and do some wellmeaning bullying and hand holding to get you to your GP.

cross post with you ringing the nurse. Good for you, just make sure you try it again.

When I have to go to the GP about something embarrassing, I always make the point of asking for a woman GP (though the woman GP I took ds3 to yesterday was horrid so I will avoid her in future!) and preferably a locum so I am unlikely to ever see them again.

Also, having suffered from an anal fissure for months and months after the birth of my first child, I can assure you that any embarassment about seeing the GP is completely outweighed by the treatment and relief you get as a consequence. I was in agony every time I needed to poo for so many months, and humiliated at the thought of a rectal examination, but I can tell you, it was worth it in the end. Anyway, if you have given birth, nothing is really so embarrassing ever again IMO.

Ok

I rang the continence nurse, who was a lovely lady but said from what I told her it was going to be a medical thing before it was a management thing, and I need to talk to the gp.

I have to take smallest child to the docs this evening - shall I slip him a note?

yes do you poor thing you should not have to suffer like this

definately write him a note and give it him tonight. the sooner you do the sooner you will get it all under control.

Be Brave

Think how much more relaxed you'll feel getting it over and done with tonight.

Rather that than stewing all weekend.

You can do it!

Oh you poor thing Well done for taking the bull by the horns, I'm sure you will be able to get this sorted out properly once the doctor knows about it. He will have seen it all before.

If it helps, I had this problem for a while when I was ill with ME/severe depression. I'm not ashamed of it now, but it was horribly humiliating, squalid and upsetting at the time, so I have some idea how you feel.

I do hope you get the right help to sort this out quickly.

You poor love. But you're not alone, I'm sure your gp has seen very similar cases before, it really isn't that unusual - believe me they've seen them all.
But you need to get sorted, obviously it's causing you emotional upset which could be making your IBS worse (stress is known to do that) - i.e. you're risking getting into a vicious circle. Please get sorted. No-one is going to make fun of you, hell, how many pg ladies have admitted to pooing on the table in the middle of labour? Quite a few!
The main thing is to look after your health and get this problem sorted.
Take care love.

I don't want to be negative, but when in the past I have tried to mention something, even a really small quick question about me, at a docs appointment for one of the children, they've always said 'oh we can't discuss this now, you need a separate appointment for you'. Annoying I know but you probably don't want to have to discuss it twice.
Although maybe they could just read the note and then when you do go back for a proper appointment you won't have to go through it all again.

Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud.