alcohol - how to cut down?

[IAmLost]

Didnt know where to post this

I have gradually been drinking more and more over the past year or so. I need to cut down. I want to cut down. But I am finding it very hard. How can I do it? It is such a contraversial subject. Especially amongst mothers I have found.

In terms of cutting down when you are drinking I bought some smaller glasses! I know it sounds mad but our mormal glasses hold about 1/3 bottle which is how you get through a ottle so fast. I now have some smaller 125ml ones, it does make a difference!

such caring posts - thankyou.

I am very much into natural therpies LadyH. I have been seeing a homeopath for the past 9 months and she has really calmed me down and got my depression in order (her and my counsellor). but there was so much to sort out we have only really got on to my drinking! Last week she decided it was time we tackled it and that is why I am trying really hard atm. I also want to stop smoking but she has said one step at a time.

PS My name wasnt actually related to this thread - it came about on a chat thread becuase I was always saying I am lost! Prior to that I was hamlyn. But I have been a mumsnetter for about 3 years. I wont give my 'old' name away because I want to leave that persona behind

Haven't read the other answers, sorry, but maybe try Allen Carr's Easy way to control alcohol. (he's the one who also did a give up smoking book which was very successful).

I got this book and would very very highly recommend

just been on to the drinkaware website. Frightened the hell out of me. Seeing my diary there in black and white. I am so over the limit. Actually threw the rest of my glass down the sink. I have got to tackle this head on now.

Lady howard I can't believe you are using the word alcy???BTW the fact that she is feeling guilty is a sure sign there is a problem as your average person isn't full of guilt when they drink.My dp was always feeling guilty before he sought help

Oh dear. I managed to knock back about a bottle of wine and 2 stiff gins last night. My parents were here. Today I was woken up at 5.30am by dogs barking and dd being hungry. Euugh! Now I feel ok and I will lay off the booze for a few more days. It's so much better without being drunk! I'm not sure I like anti depressants. They are making me feel a little bit high in a not particularly nice way. I keep grinning innanely at nothing.

How about you do one day on and one day off?

I know what you mean about looking forward to it, at the weekend I just can't wait to get the kids in bed so we can open the wine

I'm now getting on top of not drinking during the week. Dh had a can on Weds and offered me one but I was able to resist.

You need to trick yourself. So one drink an hour, smaller glasses, putting off having your first drink by another half hour, etc etc. It all helps and you don't feel as though you are not drinking, but your drinking diary will improve no end!

I posted a lot in the early days of the 'Dependent Drinkers' thread.

Am currently doing really well (touches wood). I got a nasty bout of 'flu over new year time, which left me with painful sinusitis. I knocked back a can of stella one night as normal and woke at 2am thinking my head was going to explode... such pain .

This has scared me so much (thought I was having a stroke) that I have managed to stay off the drink totally. Last weekend I had one (yes, just one ) glass of wine and, even more shocking.. I was happy with that!

I have a party to attend tonight with my old drinking mates. They have said, with glee, that they are taking a litre of vodka each. I'm quaking inside at the thought of drinking again.

I never thought I would ever, in a million years, post a post like this.

You can do it if I can.... I really thought I was a lost cause to drink.

I hope your evening goes well! I'm hopeless in some cases, like when I see my parents. In fact I drank less last night than I do when I am at their house. Great.

read that book!!

hi "i am lost" been thinking of you - i think homeopathy is a great help, it works ...im sure of it, the counselling sounds good too. if you do get a chance, look up about doctor bach remedies, i used to drink emergency essence, also known as rescue remedy in water all day and take drops directly on my tongue, they reallly help - REALLY help. if you want a therapist you can ask for catherine and sam at crystal herbs, she can do it over the phone and i cant recommend them highly enough

hi noddyholder - if you read it again i used the word alcy about myself - and then said, i shouldnt use it cos labels are bad - which they sure are judging by your comment to me!

sorry if i offended and most importantly, i am lost, hope i didnt offend you

as for guilt i think guilt is a positive sign! (negative too.....read on)it is a sign that you want to change because otherwise you would stay still and not address things

i was sick - physically sick at times - not with the drink but the guilt and the fear that my life was in ruins

in fact, what is guilt apart from fear......it comes from a terror about what you are doing and i used to sit on the side of the bed going hot and cold and shaking with the terrors

my advice is not to read any more on websites about alcohol for a while, dont count your drinks and dont even think about the alcohol but work on the "stuff" that's the root of the problem

i probably sound really obsessed with the psychological aspects but that's what helped me and looking back the guilt just made the whole process more painful so its something negative too and needs to be banished ! its a worthless adrenaline ride

something that helped me enormously as well as the alternative things we've talked about, was reiki healing, not sure if you are open to that. some of my friends were very suspicious but i swear by it.

its a gentle hands on healing technique that works on your body and aura, as time went by and i read more about it, i began to believe that "true" healing can not take place unless all parts of you are looked at - i.e. the subtle bodies - now if that sounds way too dipsy for some people, so be it, just speaking from experience and also im passionate for you 'i am lost" because i want you to come through this and experience life on the other side - you can do it ! XXXX big big cyber hug to you xxxx

hi there, just looked up the definition for bach flower remedies as im not very good at knowing how to describe them, does this help.....from the crystal herbs website

Bach Flower Remedies are gentle acting remedies which help you to balance how you are thinking and feeling in the moment

look up

not done a link before so hope that comes up

so, back to the remedies, you can buy just a few or get the emergency essence which is five together (can buy in boots too but i love the people at crystal herbs and they are made beautifully up in norfolk)

i ended upgetting the box of thirty six and through the day would take different ones for different moods, so for instance if i was having the terrors i took cherry plum if the cravings were bad i would take gentian - which is for trust, that things would work out and sometimes i took oak - simply for physical strength and another one olive for the physical toll of drinking

ok, signing off now, will look in a few days to see how you are
youre not alone, remember that, with love from this corner of the world to you xxx

o dear the link didnt work
its

crystalherbs dot com

x

Lady Howard...I'm glad you've found that herbs have helped you with your problems but don't you feel you have transferred one addiction to another?

The way you describe imbibing from different bottles when you feel an emotion you don't like is just the same as we do with alcohol.

I'm all for taking responsibility for your own health, but for some people the problem is that they are alcoholic. A rescue remedy won't cure it, only abstinence will.

hi there kokeshi
i guess the way it was written looked like i live constantly using the flower remedies!!

the description i used was more in the early days of getting sorted, when i was very stressed and trying to get through each day without hitting the bottle, now i just use them as i do food - i.e. they are part of daily life, but they are not as full on!

the point of them is that they help to bring the emotions into balance, i dont see them as a crutch now at all, but they were certainly very much a crutch when i was starting the healing process because very often due to a hangover fog or just general depression i couldnt think clearly and by using the remedies it helped me tap into the root cause of what was wrongin my life and also helped to stop my heart thumping with the guilt and fear

thats the key - praps ive not explained it very well, the flower essences are each attuned to a different emotion and so they can help in all aspects - i laid out the examples really to inspire "i am lost" to see that there is one for every feeling of trying to have will power

as to whether ive swapped one addiction for another, the fact that im slimmer, healthier, fitter,happier, less emotional, less agressive, less miserable, able to sleep and not in need of a bottle of wine a day (minimum) is not a new addiction - its called freedom in my book!

thanks for your post , its helped me clarify things better X

PS flower essences are made from flowers not herbs, the company that make them are crystal herbs (just in case people think im using herbs that way, cos herbs should be administered by a qualified herbalist)

just re-read your post about abstinence, i can see that perhaps you think im saying use the rescue remedy rather than give up drinking

my feeling is that the rescue remedy is a tool to help in giving up

will power alone didnt work for me , cos there was a reason - well many many reasons why i needed to drink to excess

or perhaps we're getting into the whole are you born an addict kind of territory, i dont have any answers on that, i just know that i used to be terrified that i was an addict but i can now have a glass and leave it at that and no longer have cravings

must sleep now, night night x

It sounds wonderful, but is it really that easy to dissipate however many years of deep-rooted issues with only a flower remedy? Was there no other process to go through, therapy or counselling, clearing away the wreckage of the past?

I believe Rescue Remedy is made with brandy

the moon66 you're not wrong!! ha ha thats why it works, only joking....but you are a bit right -it's preserved in brandy in order to carry the vibration of the flower

Ironic really eh...at the time of me starting my big road to recovery, some friends were quite appalled that i was using something with a brandy base, but its so incredibly small it doesnt make a difference. although, seriously "i am lost" you can get remedies made up with a vinegar preservative if you wanted

and kokeshi, hi again! i hope i didnt sound glib that youknock some flowers back and then you're healed. i worked really intensively with the therapists at crystal herbs - they do phone consultations, and they were just so understanding and insightful

also, i had a great relationship with my reiki healer lady and some visits she would only do ten mins healing and spend the rest of the time talking which was fantastic and the only sane thing in a mad world for a long long time

i agree that once you open pandora's box no matter what kind of path you take to cut down or give up a dependency a therapist /counsellor is vital to success and "i am lost" it sounds that youve got good people there

also,sorry to sound a bit zealous, but perhaps its worthy saying that i also started the vibrational medicine diploma that crystal herbs run - you learn an awful lost on it and each month you share your growth and your issues with the group and the teachers -cant recommend that highly enough

bit daunting at first talking in a group, but it was such a safe space and very effective for everybody

i only left because i was pregnant

hope youre all having a gret sunday we are sick of the rain !! XX

hi folks!

Been away from mn for a few days, and so many posts!

I am not doing too bad. Cut back last week,but still had far too much. But a definite improvgement. Hope I can keep it up...

Well done IAmLost...how do you feel? The first few days are the worst, it gets easier. Give yourself a pat on the back!

hey kokeshi - I wasnt expecting that! I dont feel proud at all. I had hoped to cut right down and hardly have any, but I only managed one day without any

It's progress and you can build on it. Never a good idea to set yourself up for failure where drink is concerned. Cut back as much as you can, do it gradually and it will become easier. Cold turkey is horrendous...but that was the way I had to do it.

I think it depends on what stage you're at with it though. I had no choice, and cutting down was so outwith my capabilities it wasn't funny. I think you've done well!