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General health

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Original poster

The most awful dread in my stomach, ive been so stupid.......

68 replies

canttellyou · 03/01/2007 19:07

Four years ago I had my daughter and split with her dad bout 2 weeks later. Moved back home and was very happy. But to kinda make myself feel better and wanted, I slept around a little. To be exact bout 5 one night stands. Not proud of it hence name change and have kept it to myself for this long. However am mega happy now and want this black cloud from over my head. I feel absolutely scared to death, worried, frightened, sick, that I may have caught something nasty. I self treated myself with antibiotics on a couple of occasions (work in medicine) and have bitten the bullet to go to GUM next week for tests as I can't live with this any longer. I feel dirty, used and scared to death. What if I have HIV? Syphillis? Somebody give me some advice or make me feel better.

OP posts:

SpaceCadet · 04/01/2007 15:56

make an appt at the GUM clinic, you will be counselled before you have the tests, so its a good oppurtunity to talk over your fears, the only way you will put your mind at rest is to have the testing, if its any consololation, i convinced myself when i was tested that i was HIV pos and i wasnt and id been having(foolish( unprotected sex with dd1' and ds'1's father, turned hout hed been indulging in all manner of sexual activities.

Judy1234 · 04/01/2007 16:59

CT, it's extremely unlikely you have anything at all. What is more interesting is why you feel dirty and used. Was that something to do with your upbringing or your attitude to sex?

Original poster

canttellyou · 04/01/2007 18:30

I have a healthy attitude to sex- I just feel now that I know what it is to make love to someone that I love, my past seems very sordid and horrible. If I did have something horrible, would I have symptoms by now, 3 years later?

OP posts:

Original poster

canttellyou · 06/01/2007 22:57

Bump.............

OP posts:

deeplyanon · 07/01/2007 00:15

cty
I had a similar history to yours, and a year or so later, got terribly anxious about hiv.

I went to a v nice doctor, who told me that he gets someone in this state of mind, in his surgery, every month or so. He said that he had only had one HIV case (a gay man).

He told me that once they have had the blood test and are waiting for the results, everyone is convinced that they are hiv +ve.

I wasnt, and the chances are that you wont be either. I think my anxiety was a variation of female guilt for sleeping around. It took me about 10 years to get over it, but I am over it now, and have come to terms with it. you will too, I am sure.

Monkeytrousers · 07/01/2007 00:46

Have you any symptoms?

Original poster

canttellyou · 07/01/2007 09:03

Have had no symptoms. I do beat myself up because I get thrush quite a bit and every web site tells you that this is a symptom of HIV but if I think about it logically, I get it in time with my menstrual cycle so am prob being silly......again........

OP posts:

bulimbabean · 07/01/2007 09:57

When you make your gum appointment it is confidential but you may have to wait awhile for an appointment. You will need to request a complete check up including bloods I have an std, that I have to live with for life AND I did not sleep around, Believe me the Anxiety and guilt can destroy you if you let it. YOU must stop looking on the internet and relax. Life is all about choices and experiences you need to gather the information to be able to put these experiences behind you.

Original poster

canttellyou · 07/01/2007 11:32

Oh god, I must sound so stupid to you, whinging about worries and possibilities when you actually have to live with it. I am trying my very best to go with it and deal with whatever happens. my appt is on wednesday.

OP posts:

Jimjams2 · 07/01/2007 11:37

The thrush associated with HIV is in your mouth and usually at the end, when you are very ill.

I think you should get a check so it stops worrying you. Do it anonymously.

bulimbabean · 07/01/2007 14:07

cant tell you I don't have HIV sorry to mislead you, I have another virus. the staff at the GUM clinics are great, very understanding. You will be ok, JUST stop surfing the net. It scares you witless.
you will be ok.

Original poster

canttellyou · 07/01/2007 18:49

bulimbabean- Sorry, What a mix up!! Glad you dont have it!!

OP posts:

Original poster

canttellyou · 11/01/2007 18:04

Just to update, had test, negative-big sigh of relief. Thank you for all your lovely advice. Love to you all xxxxxxxx

OP posts:

Pablothelittleredfox · 11/01/2007 18:06

Phew. So glad for you!

Original poster

canttellyou · 11/01/2007 18:07

Thank you Pablo- ur advice was invaluable. x

OP posts:

Simplyred · 11/01/2007 19:41

I'm really pleased for xx

Simplyred · 11/01/2007 19:41

I'm really pleased for you even!

frumpygrumpy · 16/01/2007 19:58

Finally got round to checking this!! Glad you have peace of mind, great news

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