What the hell is wrong with me?

[LibrariesGaveUsP0wer]

I have mentioned bits of this on a couple of other threads, but feel I need to put it in one place.

Just after new year, I woke up in the night after a horrid, graphic nightmare. Heart pounding, drenched in sweat. It involves a sort of eco-apocalypse and my kids. Came out of the blue. No prior problems.

For days afterwards, I couldn't shake it. I then started having really intrusive 'end of the world' type thoughts all the time - even throwing a crisp packet in the bin could set me off.

I am normally very mentally robust. Had some (not formally diagnosed) depression as a teenager, but nothing for 20 years. The thing that normally calms me down after a rough day is snuggling up with my kids, but I was finding even that could set off the anxiety and bring me close to tears.

I am now struggling with a racing heart. Not panic attacks exactly (I had them a few times as a teen too), just periods where I feel like my heart is going far too fast and my chest is being sat on.

I am exhausted all day and fall asleep quickly but often wake in the night and don't feel refreshed in the morning. I am permanently irritable.

Also, although I'm supposedly on a diet to shift the last of the baby weight (18 months old now), I am not really eating much differently. Yet I've lost half a stone in two weeks.

I have tried to make a doctor's appointment once, but the appointment time got ballsed up and I had to cancel. I now have to wait until Monday for another one. In the meantime, does anyone have any idea what could be wrong with me? The obvious thing seems to be some sort of depression, but I just don't understand how that would come on literally overnight in someone who has no real history. I feel like I'm losing my mind!

Yes, it sounds like anxiety to me and it is bloody horrible, but you aren't losing your mind.

It probably didn't come on overnight...most people are pretty good at ignoring/ not noticing the early signs, things such as feeling a bit stressed, getting tearful more easily than usual, worrying more than usual, not sleeping well etc etc. Even if it did come on overnight, it could be that you've been suppressing symptoms for a while.

First thing to do is visit your gp. If they offer you anti depressants have a think about them. They really can help, (they help me,) and although they don't take all your worries away, they do help to make you feel more like your old self again.

I know it's hard to believe at the minute, but things will get better than this.

Get your thyroid checked too. It sounds really stressful.

See your GP

yy to anxiety - it came on overnight with me

are you anywhere near menopause ? could be hormone related

its horrible but treatable x

Def check thyroid - hyperthyroid = racing heart / weight loss & anxious type feelings I think. Hope you get answers xx

Thank you for all the answers.

Am I near menopause - well, I'm only 36 but my DM had an early menopause and was peri-menopausal pretty young, so it's possible that there are already some changes there. I'm on the pill though, which I thought often masked very early changes?

Interesting what you say about thyroid problems. I know this sounds silly given everything I've written, but the way I feel doesn't feel a 'part' of me the way it did when I was depressed as a teen. It feels like something happening to me. Like when you have a cold and your nose suddenly isn't working right. It feels like my brain and my chest suddenly aren't working right. Whereas when I was depressed I felt like I was depressed. Does that make sense?

I guess anxiety could be similar though?

I can honestly say no real lead up. If anything, I was happier than I'd been for a long time. I am a bit of a rubbish sleeper and often go through patches where I struggle to get to sleep, but other than that, nothing. I definitely hadn't been tearful or worrying. I'd had a lovely Christmas with lovely family and I was feeling really good .

Sleep apnoea?

Do you have any hand tremor - often an indication of hyperthyroidism.

Check thyroid and iron levels

I hadn't noticed a tremor but now I've just held my hands out I have a slight one. Don't know if that's because I'm thinking about it though? Is that possible?

I have become very clumsy though. In the last 24 hours I've cut my finger on a knife and smashed two bowls.

Hello op, pp are v wise and I agree that you should see the gp about potential thyroid issues, and anxiety.

I had symptoms just like you describe, funnily enough ds was around 19/20 months when it started. I would have periods of extreme physical symptoms - breathless, heart racing, arms would feel numb, upset stomach.

It didn't feel like part of 'me' either, I didn't see any obvious trigger and I couldn't just 'calm down', so I went to the Dr to tell her that I was experiencing an unpleasant reaction to some medication I was on. She said that medicine doesn't work in that way, and explored the idea that it could be anxiety with me.

She gave me propranolol tablets to take as and when needed, not everyday. They knock the physical symptoms on the head, which in turn gives me the head space to stop worrying and relax. They break the cycle of anxiety/sleeplessness/symptoms.

The gp also referred me for cbt, which is giving me a long term solution without going onto long term drugs.

In my case I think it was triggered by a hormonal imbalance combined with juggling work and a child - a big challenge for anyone to take on!

Thank you for the further messages.

Yes, I am definitely going to the GP. Monday just currently seems a very long way away...

GP is tomorrow. Am shitting myself. Really struggling with everything. So irritable and keep bursting into floods of tears.

I keep looking at photos of Christmas, or last summer, and wishing I could travel back in time to when I felt well.

Hyperthyroid. I had the same symptoms and it was Hyperthyroid, 2 years ago.

Was the gp any help, op?

I was going to second wrist others said about thyroid issues, it really can mess with you.

What, not wrist

Thank you. GP ordered bloods and have got a prescription for sertraline to start if they come back ok.

Bloods clear. Have gone downhill so much I can barely move and am on valium.

Sounds like anxiety to me, I had very similar symptoms to you and the same thought that it felt like something happening 'outside' of me, unlike depression, which have also suffered from.

I had the thyroid blood tests but what really helped were beta blockers (l take half beta prograne) as they stopped the physical symptoms completely.

Are you able to go back to the doctors again? As it sounds like the sertraline aren't helping you yet (l know ADs can take a few weeks to work though).

You have my sympathies, it is horrible feeling like that.

Oh my god thyroid! They are all classic symptoms. Hope you feel better soon

Postpartum Thyroiditis was my first thought. Its first phase is hyperthyroidism, followed by hypothyroidism.

TBH I find they often jump to "it's your thyroid" because for some reason postnatal anxiety is under diagnosed. I had it and thanks to a benign goiter it was stubbornly ignored as they tested my blood and scanned me repeatedly.
If your bloods are clear, you need to ask for an anxiety referral.

It's not my thyroid.

It's my head. I haven't started on the sertraline because she wanted to rule out blood tests. I've been given valium now and awaiting a psych referral.

I can barely dress myself.

thinking of you op hope you get it sorted x

I have had a call. Week wait for the appointment even on insurance. Want to die. My poor kids.

Have you tried the Valium?