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Original poster

Never had a smear test

32 replies

Needfinsnow · 12/01/2016 23:34

I'm 30 and never have, I'm over weight and my friend who is a similar size had one years ago and she was lectured about her weight by the nurse who did it. I'm so self conscious anyway I can't bear the thought of being undressed and vulnerable in front of so,some who will go on to berate me for my weight. I know I'm overweight and trying to alter this... The thought of being judged by someone who sees me so exposed is terrifying.the years since ,y friend told me about her experience have just made me feel worse!

OP posts:
JarethTheGoblinKing · 12/01/2016 23:37

I've never been lectured! Your friend should complain, thats awful!

Don't want to scare you, but my sister had abnornal cells are her test, she was only 24 at the time. Go get it done. Explain you're nervous. You'll be able to get undressed and cover yourself with large paper sheets, or similar. It's over in 2 mins. It'll be ok :)

JarethTheGoblinKing · 12/01/2016 23:38

*after her test

seriouslywhat · 12/01/2016 23:41

I had abnormal cells found at my first smear aged 22. Had a colposcopy and has since be fine (I get one every year now for my own peace of mind), but it would have been a different story if I waited til 30. I am now 35.

I am sorry for your friend's experience which sounds awful - and non standard by the way - but you REALLY need to get a smear test!

CointreauVersial · 12/01/2016 23:42

Wear a loose skirt - you have to take your undies off, but you won't feel so "exposed".

Most nurses who do smear tests (in my experience) have been nothing but lovely - they know women hate it, and do their best to put you at your ease. I think your friend's experience is unusual.

But you MUST get a test. I'm sure I don't need to mention Jade Goody. It's over in seconds, but could save your life.

VocationalGoat · 12/01/2016 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnuffleGruntSnorter · 12/01/2016 23:48

It's absolutely up to you whether or not you wantbtibhave a smear test. But if you choose not to then make that choice for the right reasons.

I work in a job where I see people naked all the time. After a week or so it doesn't even really register. I'm sure the nurse will have done so many she's probably half thinking about what she's got in the fridge for dinner and whether she remembered to pay her car tax.

If you tell the nurse you're nervous at the beginning she'll be extra kind.

Be brave, you'll be so relieved afterwards.

Raasay · 12/01/2016 23:56

Need

Is the potential of a five minute lecture (which you probably won't get anyway) really worse than letting someone else's bad experience stop you from protecting yourself from cancer?

I have been having smear test regularly for 20 years. I've been weighed once in all that time and the nurse said nothing just noted it down.

You are an adult - you need to take responsibility for your health.

No one likes having a smear, it takes 5 minutes every 3 years.

Make an appointment, stick on a skirt, grit your teeth and GET IT DONE

Please Flowers

Original poster
Needfinsnow · 13/01/2016 00:00

I'm not massively over weight, just a bit, but come from a family of serious runners who are all lean and sporty, they make comments every single time they see me about how I look so I'm terrified of the nurse doing it too. I know my bits are no different to the hundreds They see, guess it's the same reason I can't get my hair done (desperately need highlights and a cut...more than a year later), I hate myself and how I look so dont want to put anyone else in position they have to look at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Needfinsnow · 13/01/2016 00:02

Ramadan.. You are right, I know I need to, I'm just so scared, i feel so dissgusting!

OP posts:
SnuffleGruntSnorter · 13/01/2016 00:04

Oh, that's a horrible thing to write about yourself Sad you must be feeling really bad. How insensitive of your family.

Have you been feeling down for a long time? Is there anyone you can talk to about it?

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/01/2016 00:05

Please please get it done. My SIL didn't have one for years due to feeling embarrassed. She died of cervical cancer at 34, leaving behind her 10 year old son. It's literally over in seconds, it doesn't hurt (in my experience anyway) and it is life saving. I can't reiterate that enough. I have never ever had anyone make a comment about anything to me during the procedure. We normally talk about the weather. That's it. Please OP, don't leave it any longer Flowers.

80sMum · 13/01/2016 00:07

I haven't had a smear test for about 8 years. I know that I probably should, but still haven't made the appointment. I have convinced myself that I am very low risk.

AnnaMarlowe · 13/01/2016 00:11

Need you are not disgusting, shame on your family for making you feel that way.

Do you know what makes the biggest difference to how someone looks? A smile.

Take yourself off to the hairdressers, you will feel much better about yourself afterwards.

Head up, smile on, don't let anyone make you ashamed of yourself.

Being happy isn't about being thin. It's about being happy.

Original poster
Needfinsnow · 13/01/2016 00:11

For so long snuffle! I once asked for help from doctors and they prescribed me sleeping pills and told me to talk to my mum...I'm a single mum so couldn't take the pills as I wouldn't hear my dd if she needed me, and my mum isn't really someone approachable about problems. I'm kind of a head down and get on with things kind of person. I'm a great mummy, but when she's not around I do tend to veer towards self pity and sadness. My mission for this year is to stop that! My family are very focused on my brothers and their happiness and lifestyles. My mum cooks and cleans and does their washing, and expects me and my dd to help out when she is busy with running and gym schedule, despite fact I work 3 jobs (about 40 hours a week part time ) whilst dd is at school or asleep.

OP posts:
TaintedAngel · 13/01/2016 00:12

I was where you are OP. I am 25, very overweight and really didn't relish getting undressed infront of the nurse. I put my smear off for years (live in scotland so should have had mine done years ago).

A friend of mine was in hospital recently after abnormal cells were found and she needed treatment...that gave me a kick, alongside my DP pestering encouraging me to go.

Long story short I went, all was fine, was over in literally 2 minutes and as i told the nurse i was a wee bit nervous she was extra nice and spoke away to me during the whole thing.

Your friends experience is not the norm, nor is it acceptable. It would be highly, highly unlikely for it to happen to you too.

Go get it done. First time is the worst only because its the unknown. Now i would happily go several times a year if i had to.

ToadsforJustice · 13/01/2016 00:14

No one needs a smear. Screening is a personal choice. If you decide to take up the invitation, you are under no obligation to be weighed by the nurse. Being weighed is not part of the test.

sadie9 · 13/01/2016 00:39

Needfinsnow, sorry you are feeling like this. Just because you are having the thought you are disgusting doesn't mean it is true. Maybe you are wrong about that. If you didn't think you were disgusting what would you be doing? How would you spend your time. So you might be able to have the thoughts and do it anyway. Think how great you feel after getting your hair done, and maybe having the smear. You are imagining thoughts in other people's heads about yourself. And maybe not being fair to those people who actually dont think that of you. And putting yourself under fierce pressure too. Everyone struggles in all sorts of ways, so find a bit of support for yourself, you deserve to be treated as fairly as anyone. The hairdresser might really enjoy exchanging a few words with someone like you, as might the smear nurse. You might make their day, you just mightn't know it. And both need clients to keep attending. People are mostly nicer in real life than what our minds tell us about them. Good luck with it.

PollyPerky · 13/01/2016 08:09

This is not really about smears- it's about your entire self esteem and confidence. You seem to hate yourself! If you can afford it, some counselling would help you or even reading some books on having a positive mental attitude and raising your self confidence- loads on Amazon. If you don't like how you look, change it. The media is chock a block with ways to lose weight and get fit at this time of year.I know it's easy to say but take yourself in hand and stop hiding yourself away! You sound very unhappy and need to tackle the root causes.

dementedpixie · 13/01/2016 12:54

I am very fat and never been weighed at a smear test or had any comments made about my size. They are there to do the test not lecture you. Your family are horrible so I'd avoid them if they are going to say mean things to you. Go get your hair done, for you, and be proud of yourself

Gangie · 13/01/2016 13:08

There will be a lot more embarrassing and invasive things ahead if you end up with cervical cancer that's been left unnoticed. If a nurse is rude to you about your weight then report her! Do not put your life at risk through embarrassment. It might he scary for you to have someone looking at some place so private but honey the dr/ nurses will have seen so many vaginas....yours will be nothin new!

My friend was diagnosed with cervical cancer two years ago, luckily she us fine now but it was a horrendous time for her.

Please get checked!! It takes a few minutes and is worth it for peace of mind.

whatevva · 13/01/2016 13:11

Yep - get a good book (self-esteem, family relationships etc), a hair cut, something new to wear, smear, any other appointments that have been neglected, tick them all off and smile. Some of it will be meh, and some of it will turn out good. Smile about the ones that turn out good Smile. If you have enough going on, and it takes the focus off the smear, it will help.

When it gets to February, you will have done all this, the light levels will have improved and you should be feeling much better about yourself. Run with it!!

Sunbeam1112 · 13/01/2016 13:21

It's quite alarming how people haven't had or went for a smear test. Especially given the recent stories of young girls who have been diagnosed or dead from cerivcal cancer. I put off my smear as i had been busy at works for a few months. Finally went and i wad informed i have high grade precancer cells! Im 28,im pregnant at the mo so unable to have treatment but will after the baby is born. Consultant told me if i had left the cells i had a 40% chance of developing cancer in 10 years time. Sounds like nothing doesn't it but add my age 38 is fairly young. Its important to get checked so if anything is flagged up it can be treated.

AdrianlovesPandora · 13/01/2016 13:21

I've never had someone comment on my weight I'm a size 16. Perhaps bring it up over the phone when booking or with the dr or nurse themselves so you can get some caring reassurance. Your best to be safe and get it done. Thanks

whatevva · 13/01/2016 13:44

I had my first one when I went on the pill at 21. It was normal to get one once you were sexually active then. Now, I think they leave them until too late, and people have lots of other things going on in their lives, and it is too much of a big thing when it comes to it.

It does worry me that people are sexually active earlier now, but not getting the smears until later. They should be allowed to have them earlier, if that is what they want.

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/01/2016 14:15

ToadsforJustice, I am sorry, but everybody needs a smear! If my SIL had one, she wouldn't be dead and her son wouldn't be an orphan.

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