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Original poster

For MartianBishop - practical help thread.

34 replies

Blu · 05/12/2006 10:49

I may have got this wrong. But I know that sometimes when I have no choice but to be brave and get on with things, I can't manage sympathy.

I don't know if MB is here regularly, but just in case...

This thread is for practical help and ideas, practicalities based on others' experiences....hugs and our thoughts on the other thread

MB - can anyone help with childcare? Arte you getting any help with talking to the children?

OP posts:
Mirage · 05/12/2006 18:11

Bumping this.I don't really have any advice myself.
When FIL had a brain tumour,the Macmillan nurses were fantastic.I believe that they offer family support too.Also,FIL spent his last months at home with the help of carers popping in 3 or 4 times a day.They were without exception,lovely & were just as devastated as us when FIL died.

FestiveFrex · 05/12/2006 18:41

Have you looked into whether you are entitled to any financial help? I presume that dh's employers, being RAF, have some sort of support system in place, but you may also be entitled to some benefits if you have to care for him. Worth looking into - or, if you want to cat me, I can look into it for you (CAB adviser).

notreallyhereDee · 05/12/2006 18:42

claim DLA, sadly he will qualify under the special rules

sunchowder · 05/12/2006 18:47

I have missed the latest thread on MB, can anyone link me?

DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 05/12/2006 19:17

When I was going through this with my DH, I had a lot of visitors stopping over. Mainly his family. I found it a bit of a struggle keeping up with the constant changing of bedding and cooking as well when the rest of the time was spent at the hospice. I was so tired from not sleeping and driving to and from the hospital 2/3 times a day (and I was going through fertility treatment at the time too). Really these are the only things that I can think of right now. Is that the type of help you were thinking of Blu? I would think child care would be of help too and days out perhaps if her dh is up to it?

suedonim · 05/12/2006 19:22

I'm not in a position to give any practical help but because our house in Scotland is unused most of the time I'd be very happy for MB and family to stay there if they wanted a holiday.

DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 05/12/2006 19:23

what a lovely gesture suedonim

DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 05/12/2006 19:24

Where abouts are they btw?

DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 05/12/2006 19:24

Where abouts are they btw?

FioFio · 05/12/2006 19:26

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SherlockLGJ · 05/12/2006 19:33

For Sunchowder

Huge hugs for Fio.{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}

tamum · 05/12/2006 19:36

They are in Lincolnshire- I just checked and she's said so on here, so I'm not breaking any confidences. If there is someone close enough to be able to actually do something that would be great. Some lovely thoughts and offers here.

Jimjams2 · 05/12/2006 19:36

I think this is a nice idea but I really think she wants to leave mumsnet alone for the moment.

IWhoooooshYouamerryXmas · 05/12/2006 19:37

If anyone lives nearby then cooking and dropping off food,as well as changing beds ready fro visitors can be invaluable-like Delgirls says-it is exhausting enough dealing with the situation without haveing to think about all the others involved in the wider circle.

Don't know where MB lives but would be happy to put visitors up for her and feed them if it helped.

FioFio · 05/12/2006 19:38

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SherlockLGJ · 05/12/2006 19:40

JJ2

If she can pick some practical ideas/help as a result of lurking but without actually getting involved surely that would be of help to her albeit indirectly.

I have never met MB but posted on her latest thread in work this morning and ended up filling up. We are a community and feel the need to help, no matter how intangible. IMO

tamum · 05/12/2006 19:41

Not really Fio, no, but as Jimjams says I'm not sure that anyone actually doing anything is what she wants right now.

FestivelyFrostyFloss · 05/12/2006 19:43

I agree LGJ. This is a way of showing her some support, if she chooses to find it or not it is up to her. I hope she does, I hope she accepts and I hope she can find MN as a good place again. All in all, this thread can only be a positive, can't it?+

MerryChristmasfromQV · 05/12/2006 19:45

If she's not here - she wont see it anyway????

MerryChristmasfromQV · 05/12/2006 19:46

I forgot to say I think thats a beautiful idea Fio.

FioFio · 05/12/2006 19:46

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FioFio · 05/12/2006 19:47

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DizzyBinterWonderland · 05/12/2006 19:48

my mother died of a brain tumour when i was 9 and my sister was 7. at the hospice where she spent her last months they had a writer in residence. she did poems and stories with patients, families and staff and put together a book called 'now i can tell'. it was a really good way for my sister and i to get our feelings out in a non threatening way. and the book is now a momento of those days.

perhaps there is something similar MB could use? i believe my mum's hospice have an artist in residence at the moment. otherwise, maybe MB would find that book a comforting read.

sunchowder · 05/12/2006 20:02

Thank you LGJ for the link...I do hope there is something that can be done.

Mirage · 06/12/2006 08:24

Depending on where MB is in Lincolnshire,I may not be far away (I'm in Leics).

Obviously,we don't know if MB is going to see this thread,but if her dc's would like a trip to our farm,to feed the lambs ect next spring,I'd be delighted to take them.Also,dh works for a big tourisdt attraction nearby,so perhaps could wangle a day out there too.