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Original poster

Postnatal issues I wasn't warned about

53 replies

susang84 · 13/07/2015 11:45

Ok, so I know about the 4 month postnatal hair loss, the baby blues, the cramps as my body settled, the lack of sleep and the teeth clenching agony first few weeks of breastfeeding BUT nobody warned me about how my husband would be affected. Yes, I knew he would be tired and yes, he's have his fair share of elbow deep poo nappies however at times he also suffers badly from LAZYITIS!
It's like he's got the thought in his head "well I'm working all day and she's off now so she can do all the housework"
Oh he'll help out not and again and he has done a lot in the garden but why is it I can have my house tidy all day, but by the next morning it's a tip again and I'm starting my same routine. Even starting with putting his breakfast dishes in the empty dishwasher!

I love my husband but I really need to find out if there's a cure for this haha

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 13/07/2015 16:25

Vikki are you reading the same thread? No one gives a shit whether you work or not. No one is judging people who stay at home. It's you're first post about wanting a cure for 'lazyitis' that people are commenting on.

princessvikki · 13/07/2015 16:28

It was a joke! because sometimes it's frustrating being responsible for running a household and having the monotony of doing the same thing day in day out, in the same way it is doing any job.

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 16:34

Jokingly asking for a cure for LAZYITIS.

As Tropical Horse said she was only was pointing out the terrible seriousness of the very fact that the OP didn't think it's a major problem that she was being treated with such disrespect and tried to laugh it off.

princessvikki · 13/07/2015 16:37

Where does it say she was being disrespected? It has been assumed. In fact the op says the opposite in her following post

Chchchchangeabout · 13/07/2015 16:41

OP you are either annoyed about the issue or not. If you are annoyed, you can do something about it. If you are not and the way you and OH split tasks works for you, great. But if the latter, why complain about it?

Original poster
susang84 · 13/07/2015 17:08

Ok. I was trying to make what was seriously annoying me into a light hearted chat cause I'm quite sure that there are other mums (or dads) who are at home all day doing house work and when they finally get time to sit down for 5 minutes feel like they are watching their hard work unfold.

So on a serious note, how's the best way to approach my ever helpful husband who just lacks a little when it comes to seeing what house work needs done without the requirement of a big flashing neon sign screaming "clean me"
I only wanted a little giggle to make light of a frustrating situation. I am teaching my kids to pick up after themselves btw Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
susang84 · 13/07/2015 17:10

Oh and what's nethuns?? Haha

OP posts:
princessvikki · 13/07/2015 17:23

No idea, I'm assuming it's a forum for those of us who are going to be banned from mums net for not having the same opinions as everyone else Grin

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 17:30

Sto putting his dish in the diswasher for a start. Tell him to do it himself. Tell him he is not helping you out he is as responsible as you are for the state of the house. Tell him to stop thinking 'I was working all day' 'she can do all the housework' and tell him you will work together to ensure that your house is not a tip. Tell him that you are not into cleaning bathrooms either and given that situation you will be taking turns cleaning the bathrooms.

NerrSnerr · 13/07/2015 17:39

I also think changing language helps. He's not helping you with the children. He is looking after the children.

I'm on maternity leave and do what I can in working hours but any housework that needs doing when he's home is shared. Weekends are completely 50-50.

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 17:55

The only difference of opinion that some posters have with you is that we don't think it is fair for you to suffer from painful cramps, loss of hair, lack of sleep, teeth clenching agony of breastfeeding, having to do all the housework and rear a newborn and yet be concerned that your husband suffers badly from LAZYITIS and feel lucky that that he helps you out now and again.

A lot of posters have been through what you are going through and as much as you would like to make light of it for whatever reason, you know it is not a walk in the park and we think your husband should support you better than he is doing.

SomewhereovertheRainbow02 · 13/07/2015 18:54

wow!
seriously some of you on here!

Princess I read nothing wrong with your posts. Some people need to get a grip! always trying to pick on people by any means possible.

princessvikki · 13/07/2015 19:16

I think turning a joke about a lazy husband into a major feminist issue shows how little these people have to worry about... It's ridiculous

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 19:32

Apols for the confusion, the last post should have been directed to the OP.

Original poster
susang84 · 13/07/2015 20:04

The main thing is, my husband supports me emotionally and we're a great team at raising our children. All I was meaning before this went completely over the top is that there are times when I would like him to assist with housework more and just wondered if it was a typical thing of husbands to have the attitude of "I work all day so shouldn't need to do much at home".
How can I get this deleted? I was only wanting a bit of a giggle between us all and feel like I've started a war! I'm aware that people are in the same situation, if not worse, so honestly thought there'd be more suggestions on how best to approach the situation. Ie do I speak to him over the whole situation or try to subtly get him to make one or two chores his routine jobs whilst I take on my own jobs.

OP posts:
bittapitta · 13/07/2015 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
susang84 · 13/07/2015 21:05

And here was me thinking that both sites were meant to be an area where we can all act as friends and offer support, share jokes etc.
Damn my middle class views on life! Grin

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 13/07/2015 21:12

Sorry op, but it's not a giggle actually. Lucky for you that you find it amusing. Most women don't.

Original poster
susang84 · 13/07/2015 21:15

I don't actually find me being the only one to clean the all my toilets or make all the beds amusing - if I did. I wouldn't have this rant. What I didn't expect was to be shot down for trying not to come across like I was a psycho and make it SLIGHTLY comical.

OP posts:
hippoinamudhole · 13/07/2015 21:30

I wonder if the problem isn't "he needs to do more" but "why doesn't he notice that needs doing?"

SomewhereovertheRainbow02 · 14/07/2015 00:12

Susan ignore them!
I honestly dont see how all that escalated from your original post!
Seems no one can have a bit of fun anymore!
What sad lives people must lead Hmm

bigbuttons · 14/07/2015 06:33

I hardly think not accepting being treated like a drudge and skivvey is leading a sad life. Having to clean up after a lazy arse male is a pretty sad life.

bigbuttons · 14/07/2015 06:35

Actually to answer your question. You should sit down with him, explain the situation and say you will not be doing it all. That when he is home the work needs to be split. You are not his mother or his housekeeper.

PerpetualStudent · 14/07/2015 06:45

I thought this was going to be about pelvic floor issues. Im on maternity leave & the constant house shit work wouldn't bother me if my fanjo wasn't collapsed like a overdone soufflè...

Original poster
susang84 · 14/07/2015 08:06

Oh dear perpetual, I haven't suffered from anything like that thankfully. Hope you get it sorted soon! X

OP posts: