Dear Bluebell, I had a similar thing about a year ago. Kept taking painkillers, made no difference, thought maybe I was getting headaches from taking the painkillers, wondered if I was getting hormonal headaches (was 48 also on hrt), went to bed with a headache, woke up with one, etc etc. Was sometimes virtually crippled with the pain of it, literally staggering round the supermarket after work once or twice. Interestingly I also had terrible neck and shoulder ache, but I hadn't connected the two until I finally, after about 3 or 4 months, I finally went to the doctor about the headaches.
She checked me over, found nothing untoward, and suggested it was probably tension headaches. She gave me some exercises to do to relax the neck and shoulders, and told me to try to just generally relax. After a few weeks of doing the exercises, the headaches did improve. Now, when it happens again, I recognise it for what it is, and know to consciously try and unclench my neck and shoulder muscles, and start up the exercises again.
I think you should go to the doctor just to rule out anything else, and then make it a priority to get some relaxation for yourself - whatever it takes - meditation, massage, cycling, box sets, long baths, anything.
After the whole headache thing, I also got a feeling of a permanent lump in my throat, and even had a 'barium swallow' at hospital to check my throat etc., but that turns out to be stress/anxiety related too.
Best of luck - things have obviously been very tough for you and these constant headaches are horrible.