**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

[Lilymaid]

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

Life is just going so brilliantly everywhere else, it's like the calm before the storm.
Boobz life will still present you and your family with brilliant moments throughout your treatment. The key thing for me (having been in treatment for a year now) is that I've had to let go of "certainty". Once I accepted that uncertainty is my new normal, I have been much more appreciative and aware of the good stuff life throws at me alongside the not so good stuff.

As for telling people, I told family and very close friends upon diagnosis as I quickly realised a) I would need their help b) I didn't want to have to explain why I was feeling up and down. But many long distance friends don't know I have cancer as I hardly see them (we communicate via social media).

I wish I'd have had time to make a big long travel plan before treatment started. I would have loved to have gone on a big road trip across the U.S. or returned to Japan for a longer vacation. I haven't had the energy to travel since treatment started.

Boobz life will change for you but please believe me when I say that you'll quickly get used to your new normal, that life will carry on, that your life will still have many brilliant moments in it :)

trice sorry to hear about your bone thinning. My onco said this was a side effect of some chemo regimens; is that the case for you? Take calcium with vitamin D supplements, consume more dairy, more dark green veg like spinach...

Oooo a big holiday malteserzz! Can you share where to?

Well it's chemo day for me today. I usually have it fortnightly on Fridays but the unit is closed for Good Friday. I've got my book, my iPad and loads of magazines to take with me. Since starting chemo I think I've single-handedly kept the magazine industry alive!

Hope chemo is ok today Bssh.

Boobz hoping you get that call. I told everyone after my diagnosis and even if they didn't know they soon guessed once I started wearing my array of chic scarves! I remember just manically tidying and sorting the house as a way of keeping some control. I also did some nice days out with the boys, although we also got to do that in my good week once I started treatment- I just got more tired.

Bosh hope chemo goes smoothly, enjoy the magazines hope they're trashy ones !
We are going to New York and then a cruise from NY to the Caribbean, apologies if it seems like bragging to those who can't go away at the minute due to treatment and illness, I do know how lucky I am to even be planning it. But also to those who are starting treatment there is light at the end of the tunnel

Trice I have to take Calceos tablets twice daily - calcium + Vit B2. The strange thing is that I have massive bones - but this is helping stop them weaken.
Malt we are off for 4 days on a Devon pig farm ... Your holiday just doesn't compare!

NY and the Caribbean! Lovely!
But Devon some now enticing too cause I've not been since a child and I remember it being gorgeous.

*sounds enticing too (argh autocorrect!)

Devon sounds lovely,pig farm not so sure

Hi boobz, I told my children, friends and colleagues after I had a treatment plan. I didn't want to just announce I had BC, I wanted to be able to say that I had BC and would be treating it with surgery, chemo and rads to roughly this timescale. Most people were absolutely amazing but don't be surprised at some strange reactions (MIL - 'oh, well that's treatable isn't it. Did I tell you I've booked a trip to the Lake District!'). My DDS were 14 and 13 at the time and handled it very differently. My DH also didn't handle it very well but that is a whole other thread!. I second the food thing, eating won't be quite so good for a while so do tickle your taste buds, but you will have lots of great times, even during your treatment. I went away with girl friends between surgery and chemo and had a couple of lovely weekends with visitors - just be careful to time around your good weeks, and expect them to get shorter as the treatment goes on. Some people managed to exercise throughout treatment elporto I am looking at you. I managed to perform in a semi professional theatre production throughout the Summer, albeit in a wig!

All of this is making me feel a lot better - thank you.

Yes, a good meal and good sex! DH will be THRILLED!

I hope I get the call tonight as well. I don't want to have to wait until Tuesday.

You've all been so lovely and supportive already - I hope I can one day return the favour.

Half day for me today work wise, so only a couple of hours to go and then I think I might plan some lovely meals for the weekend.

Will update when the surgeon calls (I hope!)

Lily nothing wrong with Devon, it's lovely. Although a pig farm is an interesting choice! Where abouts in Devon are you going? I'm off to Exeter to see my parents.

malt you deserve to have a great holiday to look forward to. After all you've been through.

Just wanted to wish everyone a VERY HAPPY EASTER. Hope everyone manages to enjoy it as best they can. Last Easter I was in the midst of Radiotherapy! What a difference a year makes. Xx

Just to echo everyone else, the good times are not over for ever. You can still have happy times during chemo. We had a weekend down in Dorset just before my second cycle. It was the last weekend in August and we had one beautifully sunny day where we sat on the beach where Broadchurch was filmed (sorry can't remember the name) scrambled over rocks at Portland Bill and had a beautiful bistro meal in the eve (this was before my taste buds had gone to pot!). The only down side was standing in the sea breeze and feeling my hair blowing out. DH had to keep up wind of me to avoid a face full! But even now we can joke about it - you'll probably find a new dark sense of humour.

I actually started to write down some of the 'silver linings' from treatment. Yes there were some for me :). No worries about bed hair in the morning, no having to style it before going out, beautiful soft skin, no shaving/waxing legs, pits and bits, etc etc

Malt, what a fabulous holiday! Well deserved and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. Lily, Devon sounds equally as lovely, I love little piglets :)

Bssh hope chemo goes well today and doesn't ruin the Easter break for you too much

Elporto, I am in awe of you getting out running! I'm not sure my joints could take it now! And well done on starting to shake off the chemo weight

Thank everyone for your good wishes. Thanks buns too, unfortunately having spent 3 days lying in a bed waiting for surgery and then nearly fainting the first time she tried to move out of it MIL has lost all her confidence. It's so hard to see her like that.

Oh and I forgot to say last time that I also found out at the weekend that my childminder is having to take up a full time job from 13th April so I will have no one to pick DD up from school for the next few weeks....

Fortunately, I'm either going to work from home or not work at all during rads (they start at the same time) so I will be able to pick her up. Silver linings hey?!

I'm still here... still waiting on my CT scan results. I just wanted to say how inspiring it has been reading all these posts. I am genuinely grateful to everyone here for a great example of coping with adversity. Love to all and hope you have a lovely weekend x

Majestic, that's frustrating have to wait for the ct results. But, hopefully the provisional feedback you had from the consultant is true and that you don't have anything to worry about. Please come back and let us know.

Have a lovely Easter too :-)

Hi all, just checking in to report 1 week on from surgery. Had the op. on Wednesday last week and was home on Thursday. Didn't feel too bad at first but seem to be in more pain with each day at the moment. Worst things - Drains out one side fine, other side agony (different surgeons working on each side), horrible constipation day 4 post op. And I now have a horrible line of pain running underneath my simultaneously hot/throbbing/numb left armpit down to my elbow. It feels like I have a string pulled tight. The physio thinks it may be cording and has booked me an appointment in 10 days to have it looked at. Post op care has been one call after a week from a breast nurse (not mine) and a 10 minute physio chat. Weirdest feeling - waterbed sounds from my chest when lying down. Left arm is also swollen making me worry about lymphoedema....joy! I was arrogant enough to think I would be able to just bounce back....

Fingers crossed for all waiting for scan results and treatment plans. Any chance we could have that spreadsheet attached to the thread, my post chemo brain is too scrambled to retain everyone's 'C' profile.

Happy Easter weekend to all.

dontaskforthe99 I've found that a few sachets of Movicol (bought OTC) works like a dream on constipation. Doesn't cause any tummy cramping that Lactose, Sennacot etc produces.

dontask sorry you are suffering. I used laxido sachets on prescription from my GP (prescribed over the phone) if you are on any sort of codeine painkiller it is a shocker for bunging you up. I had problems at each chemo cycle and so proactively managed with laxido and Senna. I didn't have any cording so no advice there but I did get pretty nasty lymphodema in my arm and hand but not until several months after the op. I have managed to counteract the swelling in my arm (but not my hand), if you are diagnosed, let me know and I will give you some tips.
Just been Easter clothes shopping. My DD2 (14) asked for a particular sort of dress - hasn't worn a dress since she was about 5! Managed to find exactly the right thing, in the reject rail of our local boutique, in her size for £20. More amazingly she loves it! So that is a good day's work, not sure what it will look like with her converse, which are the only shoes she possesses!

Just a quickie as I have to rush out but I have a question. I saw my GP this afternoon for the official results of last weeks pelvic scan after period from hell. It was clear as the radiographer said at the time, phew.

We got talking about hot flushes and how I wouldn't be able to take HRT with ER receptive cancer so she suggested Red Clover, said it was perfectly safe. I've just googled it, to see what form it comes in and how to take it and am alarmed to read that I shouldn't go anywhere near it as it mimics oestrogen. Additionally I take aspirin daily which is also a contra indication because of the blood thinning properties of both. So, my question, as its Easter and there no one else to check with now, have any of you been advised to take Red Clover or been warned off it? I'm a bit upset if I've been recommended to take something that could be dangerous. I do remember last year being told not to take anything like this without checking because some things were dangerous.

Hello to everyone, I'm sure I'll be back later on.

Hi everyone - lovely to read all your positive posts and I can already identify with the dark humour - DH and I are probably making one too many cancer jokes at the moment - it still doesn't seem real.

Sorry to hear you are struggling don'task - what did you have done again (so I can add to my spreadsheet...)

So the surgeon called but it wasn't as conclusive as I had hoped. After thinking that the Italians were just being incompetent with their lack of diagnosis, it seems my UK team are struggling too! They know the cancer is invasive and she believes it would respond to chemo prior to any surgery, so this is what she is recommending, but they still haven't defined the grade, type or receptor status yet. She wants me to come to London on Tuesday for a face to face consult to discuss options (and hopes the further pathology tests they are doing now will yield more answers so we can get a proper treatment plan in place), followed by a sentinel node biopsy on Thursday evening.

She's said I now need to stay in London for at least 2 weeks whilst they get to the bottom of it, but I get the feeling I am coming back indefinitely until the end of a post surgery chemo which will be months I expect. DH is now trying to work out how this is going to work with his job, 3 DC under 6 and everything else. My head is about to explode from the logistics alone.

So, nothing definitive, but I think what they have seen from the core biopsy means they want me to come back to the UK sharpish and not leave until they have got it sorted. So progress, and action, but still lots of questions still to be answered.

Feeling a bit bewildered by it all. I am going to miss DH and the DC so much if I am exiled to the UK for 6 months!

Boobz is having chemo in Rome absolutely out of the question; I would imagine cancer treatment would be top notch there?

mrsrhodgilbert good news about the clear scan!

Chemo over, went okay. Have really crashed and burned tonight so early night for me. Luckily the Easter weekend coincides with steroids so from experience I should have a good amount of energy for our planned outings and house guests.

Boobz, I'm really sorry to hear things are still so unclear, I've never heard of this situation before but I'm no expert. Your head must be ready to burst with all you have going on. You sound strong though and that's a great start. If they do want you to remain here throughout treatment you probably are looking at months especially as they are recommending chemo. I hope you manage to make some plans over the weekend.

Bosh, another one over. Enjoy your weekend.

Night all.

mrs I was told NOT to take Red Clover. My GP said it would not be suitable.

Boobz Sorry to hear things are still uncertain for you. Have you thought about maybe having your treatment in Italy? My personal feeling is that being away from your family at this time will add extra stress and worry that you really don't need right now! Hope you get some clearer answers soon xx

Apologies for short reply. My computer decided to delete my previous message!