**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

[Lilymaid]

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

Hi all.
How is everybody today?
I had my appointment with my surgeon today,so i now know exactly what type of breast cancer i have. Its a triple negative, so they have decided to postpone my surgery and start me on chemo instead. I also met with my oncologist. Im having chemo once a week for 12 weeks and then every second week for a further 6 weeks. That amount of it surprised me and i never thought to ask why so much. Ill then be having surgery and radiotherapy. Im surprisingly positive today. Especially now there is a plan in place.
I felt so sorry for my lovely oh,it really hit him hard today.
My onc also said im definately goin to lose my hair, which i am dreading.
Thk u for all ur support

Hi Cailindeas,yes, getting a plan in place makes it seem more doable, somehow. And I like your team's cunning plan for chemo. Did they say what sort, just out of interest? Hitting triple negative cancers hard with chemo very regularly is very effective. And the chemo before surgery gives them a chance to see how effective the chemo is. They will probably scan the lump half way through chemo to see if it's shrinking, and by how much. Then adjust chemo some more if necessary. They are looking for chemo to either shrink it, or get rid of it completely. If it doesn't, they adjust the surgery and radiotherapy instead.

Some people manage to keep their hair even through 'dose-dense' chemo, using the cold cap. But I'd trust your team's opinion on that. It wasn't the best bit of the experience (understatement) but I really got into wearing the wigs. And four years on, my own hair is longer than before. Others have loved picking out new hats and scarves etc.
OH - there's good partner support out there through various of the charities, if OH feels they need a bit of a chat about what's what. Your BCN can point them to the right ones locally, I'd think. Modern treatments are very successful for most people so OH doesn't need to fear the worst. Nor do you.

Hi cailindeas. Mine was triple negative so had chemo first. Having a plan does make you feel more in control. My chemo regime was a bit different- 8 lots altogether but I think it depends on oncologist, hospital and your exact situation. Don't google about triple negative; lots of out of date info on there which doesn't help. As Amber says these types soak up the chemo well. I had scans every couple of months and it was good to see it shrink each time (and then eventually disappear).
I don't have a partner but it did hit my dad hard. If your OH will talk to someone then that might help. I did feel that sometimes it was easier to be the one doing it rather than the people around you.

Hi amberlight and speedypenguin. Thk u for your kind replies.
I havent googled triple negative, which is very unlike me. Very nosy need to know everything. So thks for that penguin ill not bother. Are ye both free of the disease now?
Im very down today, its like its hitting me full force, what im facing. And i just dont want to have this bloody disease. But who does. ?
Tomorrow is another day. Hopefuly a better one.

Cail I'm glad you have your treatment plan it does seem daunting at the start but you will get through it. Try to think of getting through each part at a time. We'll help you through, do ask any questions you have about side effects etc and there's always someone here who will help

Hope everyone's ok, half term went too quickly here !

Crikey Cailin, that does sound daunting. You will get through it but it will be a tough old slog. Chemo is both not as bad as think it will be, but it is not fun. We will cheer you on through it if allowed.

On a different subject has anyone found a bikini you can wear after mx? I have tried on a couple from Nicola Jane which managed to display both my lack of cleavage and also my scar under my arm. I have a 'modesty' bra from them which is comfortable and covers everything, if only they made it from swimsuit material.

I am not at all modest so I will probably just let my scars hang out when it comes to it. Only six weeks till holiday!

Hi all.
Malteserzz and trice thk u for the postive words.
Just wondering have you ladies got any recommendations for moisturisers etc for during chemo. Also websites for scarfs etc. I dont think wigs are for me, but ill get one and see. Im trying to get as organised as possible before i start chemo.

For moisturisers try Udderly Smooth or MooGoo - unscented creams with urea (yum yum). Samples often available from Oncology Unit or buy online. Plenty of heavy duty hand cream (also unscented as you may find highly scented products make you feel nauseous. Have some hand cream with you at all times as your hands can literally dry out in minutes.
Don't forget to drink as much water as possible - this really does help when you feel you've swallowed drain cleaner!

Thks so much lilymaid. Ill have a look for those.

Hi all, thought I'd check in. Beginning to feel a little nervous now for my scan and consultant's appointment on Tuesday. When I had breast cancer three years ago, I sort of knew what to expect as a close family member had just had it, and there's a lot of publicity about be in women's magazines. A lot of famous stars such as Kylie and Jennifer Saunders have also had bc.

However, I think I'm being investigated for potential endometrial cancer. I'm not sure. Apart from googling the Internet, I know nothing about it. I didn't even realise it was the fourth most common ( female?) cancer.

Have a happy Arsenal,fan sitting next to me. Then it's the Nninja warrior final. A lazy evening!

Still waiting for results here river. Every reason to think it will be ok but, y'know....

I want to book a summer holiday and haven't done that yet. Also wondering if I'm gonna be at work for the appts that I'm booking 4 and 5 weeks hence, or maybe otherwise occupied having my womb removed It's a bit pants really.

I've found the gynae staff and professionalism of the service to be fine but just not quite as smooth as the breast cancer services. No specialist nurse for example. Or if there is one I haven't met her. I have Googled a bit about what might happen next but stopped before I got too far. Everything crossed for you river

cail I'm feeling for you here. Getting a diagnosis is a shocker, no question about it, but you will get through and you won't always feel as crap as maybe you do now. Hang in there.

Hope everyone else is ok. I have dd home from uni so am enjoying her company.

Cailin, I used Udderly Smooth through chemo and rads, but you'll need to check with your rads team. For scarves, I bought some from Anna Bandana, but I didn't need to wear them as I didn't get any bald patches while cold capping.

Rivercam,

Trice can't help on the bikinis - sorry! Hope you find a nice one. I've just bought one to fit over my implants. Hope I get to wear it.

Marshy - I haven't booked a summer holiday yet for the same reason! Hopefully I will know more on Tuesday - will report back.

Cal - it's great to have a plan. Look into getting a wig - there's some great ones you can have, plus hats. Your bcc nurse should be able to advise you on this. One tip I heard was to get your hair cut short now, so everyone gets use to this look sooner than later.

Rivercam and marshy my thoughts are with u both. Waiting is awful.
Thk u for all your recomendations re moisturisers and scarves. Ive been googling and ordered a few things. The shock has really worn off and reality is biting hard. Feel really down. Theres a lot to be said for shock, i almost wish i could go back to that.
wishing u all well. Excuse the typos on my phone.
Im so glad i found this thread. Its really been a great reassurance.

Cailin, my DP reckoned my wig looked like me having a good hair day - I don't think I'll forget him saying that! I managed to get most of the cost of it paid for by the NHS, have you asked your BCN, if there's a similar scheme in your area? Mine was classed as a surgical appliance, which gave me a giggle

Hello everyone, it has been the longest time since I was on here but I wanted to check in and see how everyone is? Sad to see some new names on the thread, and wishing love and luck to everyone going through testing and treatment.

I finished my rads in March and since then I feel like I've been catapulted back into my usual hectic life with barely time to think properly. DHs work suddenly went crazy busy (still is), my work colleagues expected me to be back firing on all cylinders and I have been picking up everything at home with the DC as well. It's been pretty up and down emotionally too. I didn't feel massively relieved once treatment ended, and I am now a big knot of health anxiety, every little thing sends me rushing to the GP...

Anyway, I know lots of you have been where I am now, I know this stage will also pass, and at least I finally have some hair back and have ditched the scarves!

Love to all xx

Shadowfax, im in ireland. But apparently im entitled to a free wig. Lucky me. My lovely dp likes the front of my hair at the moment, not the back.I cant work that one out lol. I have a graduated bob.
Im goin to go to my lovely hairdresser and get a pixie.
I think im more freaked out at the moment by no eyebrows or lashes. I cant imagine feeling very feminine with none.
Ill give a wig a go, just have this image of them awful rug things u used to see on old men years ago.

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much for all your help and encouragement.

So many of you going through such a bad time, waiting for results or starting/having treatment.

I don't think I'm doing any better, despite it being a week now since I found out. Everyone thinks I'm really strong, but I don't feel it. I'm actually feeling really scared about having surgery.

Also all this is making me think about stuff I don't normally think about, like how I'm alone and despite having some very good friends I don't actually have any one who is really there for me. It's ok being alone when everything is fine but this is making me realise how much I miss having a partner. I don't have any close family either, am close to my sister but she lives 200 miles away and has small children so can only be a comfort on the end of the phone. In contrast my mum lives 10 minutes away but is a passive aggressive nightmare. Usually I keep my contact with her to a very superficial level and let all the comments and digs she make just go over my head. I was frightened of telling her about my diagnosis and had to get my sister to do it! She is going to help out with the practicalities but has already started going on to my sister about how this is yet another thing that she has to worry about! I know that she will try and make me "pay" for her help further down the line and it just makes me sad that I don't have a mum who I can turn to when I need her.

Sienna (hugs) people say I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm amazing etc. I don't feel that way, I'm just trying to get through each day as it happens.

Cailin, I missed eyelashes and nose hair most of all! If you can access them on YouTube, have a look at Baldly Beautiful's videos, she's a make up artist who's had BC, and lots of make up companies have brow make up. I know a few people who've had semi permanent eye brow tattoos as well, and they're really pleased with the result, but it isn't cheap

Sorry, forgot to add, Cailin, here's where I got mine from, have a look at the wigs under the products tab, it will really put your mind at ease!

peruke.co.uk

Elporto - well done on getting back to normal life. It's weird when the rounds of hospital appointments come to an end.

Be prepared though for days or moments when it all suddenly hits you. During the process, I found I almost got absorbed by it all. Afterwards, you realise what you have just been through. Sometimes, silly little, ordernary things, can remind you of what has happened.

my family member who had a wig during chemo had a fab time trying on wigs and hats. She got two. They looked better on her than her old hairstyle!

Elporto fab to hear from you and that you are back on track. I'm sure the health anxiety must subside eventually.

sienna my mum died a few months before my diagnosis. It was the first big thing I had had to deal with without her support. Hugs for you, and I hope your mum at least delivers on the practicalities.

Sienna think we've all had that experience where people say that you are strong but you certainly don't feel it ! Think it's because they don't see the terror in the middle of the night etc :(

Trice have you found a bikini ? Can't help you as I'm far too fat for one. Not long till your holiday :)

Hope everyone is ok it's very quiet at the moment

Morning Malteser. It is very quiet on here at the moment.

Got my scan today, and feel restless. I'm off to town this morning to keep myself busy.