**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

[Lilymaid]

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

Hi all and happy bank holiday.

Wino, I am so sorry to hear about the failed IVF. Have you got good friend and family support?

Can I ask why you can't have IVF when on tamoxifen? I haven't got my head around the hormone side of things yet.
I know that my cancer is oestrogen + which means that I can't have HRT if I go through an early menopause.

Hello wino, I was so sorry to read your post and the ivf situation. Sometimes people seem to get so much thrown at them, I wonder how we cope. I assume you've had a lump removed and a sentinel node biopsy? That's exactly what I had in May last year, luckily my nodes were clear so I 'just' had 15 sessions of radiotherapy and now take tamoxifen. My treatment from diagnosis to the end of rads lasted about 2 1/2 months, that is what you could be facing if nodes clear. Obviously if nodes are affected it will be different. How are you feeling after surgery?

Hotchoc, you mustn't have Ivf or I presume get pregnant naturally with ER cancer because oestrogen needs to be suppressed to avoid further tumours developing. That would be inconsistent with pregnancy.

Happy bank holiday everyone. The promised sun hasn't reached Yorkshire yet but I'm still hoping.

Trice, hope you're doing ok, thinking of you.

Welcome wino though sorry you have to be here
I'm sorry to hear about the IVF, that is just so unfair on top of everything else :( thank goodness for that cyst though, hopefully this means you've caught it early

I didn't watch the c word last night, do love Sheridan Smith so if if hadn't been so close to home I probably would have

Hope everyone has a good bank holiday

Wino I'm sorry you've had to join us, what a double blow you have received. although we didn't go down the ivf route it took 5 years for our DD to arrive so I understand some of the pain childlessness can bring. Fingers crossed that the lymph node biopsy is clear

I'm a lot brighter this weekend, my friend's visit did me the world of good and we had a lovely walk through the azaleas and rhododendrons in Richmond Park. No news of our other friend, he obviously isn't giving up the fight yet.

DH was out last night so I watched the c word. The only trouble is when you know about something that is dramatised it's so easy to be nit picky. I will say the acting was good especially the two leads and I was able to identify a lot of the emotions she went through. But I struggled with the interpretation of the medics etc...

Swanky office for the consultant (who seemed to be surgeon and an oncologist all rolled into one!) who only ever appeared to wear scrubs (perhaps that's the only way viewers would know he was a consultant?), no nurses or BCN to be seen at the diagnosis appt, lots of smiley, laughing (and knitting!) ladies having chemo.

Rads were just referred to as an aside so yet again the image of cancer is all tied up with chemo which is not always the case and does a disservice to all those ladies who don't go down that route.

But obviously the film was based on her blog so of course things are going to be different to what I've experienced. I didn't cry thank goodness but that's probably because I used up all my tears last week!

Anyway, the sun is shining here so I must make the most of it :)

Morning all and welcome to wino. Sounds like you are having a tough time. I too experienced infertility and the joy of investigations and treatment, although we didn't get as far as ivf and it was a long time ago. I remember it as a difficult time though and to have to deal with this on top must be a real blow for you. But thank goodness they found that lump. Fingers crossed for your results.

Trice and boobz hope you are both feeling ok and good to hear you are feeling more cheerful minty.

I watched the c word and pretty much agree with your comments minty. Sheridan Smith was brilliant malt. I cried when she was getting her diagnosis. Watched it with dh. It's strange as he has been a bit distant lately but has been very cuddly since the program. I think it reminded us both what we've been through.

Feeling ok today and off out to a family party later.

Wishing everyone a good day and I hope the sunshine makes it ti Yorkshire mrs

Thanks all for your lovely responses - I've always been a bit scared of posting, worried I'll offend or sound like it's all about me, me, me....

Hot - I'm ER positive which as MrsHod says will be managed by Tamoxifen blocking oestrogen to prevent the cancer recurring (but won't support a pregnancy and I think IVF needs a lot of oestrogen too). The BCN said it was good news for my health as it's the easier type of cancer to prevent again - not sure if I've remembered that right though?!

I had the lump removed last Monday and the sentinel node thingy too and should get the results on Friday. I think that's when I'll find out whether it's chemo/rads? Other than a bit sore, I feel ok - been out for long walks which is good for the head.

Thanks MrsHod for your story - 2 1/2 months sounds fine to me, although I think as others have said, people think it's easy and will be a walk in the park if chemo isn't needed. Although I am hoping it's not!

Minty - so sorry to hear about your friend. It's frightening how many people can be going through this at any one time.

I couldn't bear to watch the c word last night - maybe in a few weeks time.

Thanks again all - your responses have been much appreciated.

Wino, welcome. I'm sorry that you're here. I am so sorry that the IVF didn't work for you but relieved for you that you weren't put in the position finding out you have cancer whilst being pregnant and all the awful decisions that entails. That is up there on my worst nightmare list. I try not to be resentful that tamoxifen has taken away my choices regarding having another child but it's not always easy. I'd hoped for one more and am still insanely jealous of anyone pregnant. As I had a mastectomy, I am also a bit jealous of anyone who still has their own breasts. I suspect I must walk down the street glowering at every woman. It would explain the new creases on my forehead at least.

Oh Saveme, that did make me chuckle!

Thanks for the explanations on er+ and The C word reviews.

Wino you won't offend us we're open to talking about anything !

I hope your nodes are clear but if not don't panic, mine weren't and there are many of us on here the same and still here to tell the tale :)

Welcome Wino. It really is a lot to have thrown at you and is very rubbish indeed. Fingers crossed for no node involvement but even if there is they have good plans in place.

I watched 'the c word' this afternoon and thought it was good but it did make me cry.

Wino please don't worry about offending or being 'me me me'. We are not easily offended and sometime it has to be 'all about me' because that's just where you are. We have all been there. I hope you find some comfort and support here. I certainly have.

Whatever your results show, you will deal with it and there will be someone here who can hold your hand. Wishing you the very best.

Welcome wino and so sorry that for you this diagnosis is a double whammy. Please use this forum for all your me, me, me ranting, it has certainly saved my nearest and dearest from a lot of ear bashing over the last year. I couldn't bring myself to watch the c word - might have been different if she had lived.
So today I booked my venue for my 50th in September. It is old fashioned steam fairground with dodgems, Waltzers and a carousel. I think it will probably ending up costing more than my wedding (which was very cheap), but I really feel like celebrating the fact that I am still about.

Buns that sounds fab!

I would love to meet some of you all. I know that's not easily achieved and fraught with all kind of difficulties, but maybe one day...

Oh yes, what happened to the meet up? I've been practising waggling my implants to music as my party piece.

Buns that sounds amazing !

Saveme, I did laugh to read about your boob envy!

Wino, welcome to the thread. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I am recovering well from my op, just a bit bruised and sore. I have been having some massive hot flushes so something has changed hormonally. Take that cancer cells!

Buns- that sounds amazing and great fun.

Trice- glad op went ok. Hot flushes a pain though.

We did talk about a meet up. Am going to tentatively put forward Birmingham as somewhere in the middle??? I am in southwest but am happy to travel anywhere if I can get a child free weekend. I don't know anything about Birmingham though so not sure where is a good place

Off for a swim after school drop off. Just sent youngest child off to camp in Dorset with the weather warning for strong winds!!!

oooh a meet up - yes please!

I am in Rome, obvs, but flying in and out of London for the next 6 months. Brum will be difficult for me as I am literally flying in and out for the chemo, but if there is a splinter group who wants to meet in London, I would be really keen.

So am 7 days post first chemo and am off to the Onc at 12 today to get signed off to fly back to Rome. Will be so good to get back - will have been here for 17 days by the time I go back - in that time I have had full diagnosis, about 6 scans, a portacath fitted and my first round of EC. A busy "holiday"! Can't wait to get back to exercising on Thursday when I am 4 weeks post lumpectomy - I've put on about 5 kg since diagnosis!

Saveme - that made me laugh so much and may explain my crow's feet/permanent scowl! I'm sorry that you had a mastectomy, it makes me grateful I only have a wonky boob although would have done the same as you if needed. But you're so right, had ivf worked in January, I'd be facing a much worse dilemma.

Buns, what a great idea for a party. Celebrating life after going through all this sounds like a perfect distraction - if we can't celebrate that, then there is no point. But don't release details of location, you may end up with a load of mnetters crashing it by the looks of it!

Thanks marshy/penguin/malt for the hand hold, it's good to sound off with others who have been/are going through the same.

Am I right in thinking if the nodes show evidence of spreading, it will be chemo? Otherwise 'just' radiotherapy?

Boobz - hope all is going well for you. I do a bit of running and was hoping to start again soon - have you been told to wait 4 weeks? I'm only a week past, although DH has said to me that my wonky boob has made me lopsided so I'll only be able to run in circles now!

hahah Wino - your DH sounds like mine!

I was told 6 weeks, but I feel totally fine now, so am going to start slowly with some resistance training from 4 weeks and then up the cardio/running from about 5 weeks. And it was a tiny lumpectomy - the tumour was only 1cm so not very invasive (in my head!)

I have no node involvement but am having 6 months of chemo plus surgery. Don't think I will be having rads.

Meet up (re-visited).
I'm in Cambridge area but work in London. Midlands would be OK for me in school holidays (not that I have any school aged children now).

Wino, sometimes you do have chemo even if it's not in the nodes. Just saying so it's not a shock if they suggest it. If you are young they like to throw everything at it to give you the best possible chance

I'm in the midlands so birmingham is easy but can also do london on the train :)

Popping in to wave :)

Welcome to WinoHamster, but sorry you've found yourself here, and about the IVF too

I'm glad you decided to post, this thread is great. Don't feel the need to be positive if you don't feel like it though, there are plenty of negative posts too, the tone tends to vary depending where people are in the process and all sorts. So don't feel that you can't share negative thoughts or experiences here too, as malt says, nothing is off limits here :)

And don't worry about your posts being only about you either, that's fairly typical when people first start posting, you have to get your head around your own diagnosis and treatment plan before worrying about other people's too! :)

trice glad you are recovering, I hope the hot flushes calm down, but hopefully they are bothering the cancer more than you!

I have the C word recorded, waiting for an opportunity to watch it, maybe today. I was the crazy smiling lady knitting during chemo. Well, until the nurse told me to stop because it was stopping the cannula from working. I learnt to crochet towards the end of treatment, but I wish I'd learnt sooner as it would've helped pass the time :)

I had a clear scan a few weeks ago. I've ended up having them on the half year anniversary rather than yearly, so this would've been my two and half year scan. It was brought forward slightly because I turned out to be very anaemic and my team panicked I was the only person not surprised that my non-existent iron intake would cause anaemia and so I got to say "I told you so" when all my tests were fine I had an iron infusion which was miraculous, I'm now nearly not anaemic and with minimal side effects :) I might have regular ones now to stop me getting anaemic again, as my surgery side effects are currently preventing me taking iron supplements or getting enough through my diet.

Anyway I've rambled on enough, I hope everyone is doing well wherever they are in treatment or afterwards

wallaby are you still around, how are you feeling? Have you had the next chemo yet?

Welcome wino, sorry to see you hear but please don't hesitate to make your posts all about ''me me me" as it gives us all the excuse to go on about ourselves too ;-)

I had a lovely weekend en famille but after my chemo pump was disconnected on Sunday evening I crashed big time and gave been laid low by terrible diarrohea and vomiting. Feeling a bit better today but am cautiously reintroducing food. My lovely MIL rushed down 3 hours drive to help out with DD as I am too weak and DH is busy with a big case (lawyer). MIL is a star!