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Original poster

mole worry (health anx sufferer )

31 replies

ballofworry · 08/03/2015 08:37

hi , i suffer with health anxiety and am feeling bad today ,

i have many moles dark ones tan ones , i have checked every 6 months by a skin clinic (my own choice ) where they take pics compare and a dermitologist comes and checks me to , been doing this for 5 years .
i have a freckle /mole tan in colour changed got a bigger on my chest , went last week for my 6 month check and they said it looked fine "at the moment " but if any changes to come back ...
i cant stop self checking and worrying what if it does change ....they said the darker ones are ones to watch to but none of mine have changed over years as yet so thats good .
i know to many this seems silly and an over reaction but i cant rid of this fear in my head even contemplating going back again ....or having it removed ..

any advice ...? kind words ....thanks for listening

OP posts:
ragged · 08/03/2015 08:58

I dunno what it really means to live with your anxiety. If I say something logical does it make no difference? They said only worry if it changes. Since it's not changing, you shouldn't worry. That's what they said.

I have lots of moles & they sometimes change. I thought it was normal they don't always stay the same, or you wouldn't have any (babies are born without moles, after all). And most of them grow slowly IIRC so that's normal too.
Sorry I can't offer more reassurance than that.

Original poster
ballofworry · 08/03/2015 10:32

thanks ragged , that has helped me thank you

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Loveleopardprint · 08/03/2015 10:41

I think they would remove it if they had any worries. I had a mole removed from my back two weeks ago because they didn't like the look of it. I am waiting for results and praying it is all ok. They said they thought it was nothing to worry about. What I am trying to say is that they would remove it if there were any concerns.

I too am very anxious so understand your feelings.

Original poster
ballofworry · 08/03/2015 10:57

thank you loveleo , hope your results come back ok for you,i know the waiting is hard X , when will you find out ? i had a mole/skin tag type thing removed it just appeared one day / week/ and i caught it , it bleed as was where bra is , so they got it off , i had to wait to , but all was ok thank goodness ..
.
i know deep down i can do no more and just have to keep an eye on it but cant stop thinking about it and self checking ( a common trate of health anx )

OP posts:
Loveleopardprint · 08/03/2015 11:27

I have to wait for one to two more weeks. Trying not to think about it!

I understand your anxiety. If one of my kids even feels sick I get the symptoms too and start to panic. Rationally I know this is stupid but physically it just happens. It is sensible to get the moles checked and try to not worry between appointment s. Easier said than done though.

Loveleopardprint · 08/03/2015 11:59

I have to wait for one to two more weeks. Trying not to think about it!

I understand your anxiety. If one of my kids even feels sick I get the symptoms too and start to panic. Rationally I know this is stupid but physically it just happens. It is sensible to get the moles checked and try to not worry between appointment s. Easier said than done though.

Original poster
ballofworry · 08/03/2015 12:11

totally understand that ,yes thats my thinking as i have so many better to get them checked every 6 months , although the dermitologist says once a year is ok, but i just feel happier doing it more ... i never used to be like this but started about 6 years ago, im waiting for CBT requested from my GP to help with it so hopeful it will !

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 08/03/2015 18:02

I think you need some strategies to stop your thoughts once they kick in.
Have you read any CBT tips online?
You need to develop some distraction behaviour for when you have these thoughts.

Maybe tell yourself that all you will do is check it once a week at X time of day then forget about it?

Learn to worry about stuff when it happens and deal with it if it ever does. Most of us spend our lives worrying about stuff that never happens and it is a sheer waste of energy.

Original poster
ballofworry · 08/03/2015 19:36

thanks pinkfrocks , you are right , i hate this feeling i have a CBT work sheet to try ....
im just locked in "what if" sate of mind today ....

but apreciate every ones advice

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pinkfrocks · 08/03/2015 19:50

ok- doing this as if it were CBT...:)

Q what is your biggest worry?
A that it is cancer

Q and if it is? what will happen to me?
A You will be treated and one of the vast majority of people who make a full recovery.

Original poster
ballofworry · 08/03/2015 20:28

Thank you , rational head agreeing totally with what you have said Flowers

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Original poster
ballofworry · 10/03/2015 15:26

still so anxious ...i have a spot was red bit like a bite on top of thigh nr buttock some weeks ago now , looked earlier by chance and still there slightly , not sore , red or itchy , bleeding or anything but still there looks bit pink at times then fade at others ..am i over reacting ....didnt point out last week to skin clinic ...but read in a news paper about someone who had a red spot doctor thought was an infected bite some moths later turned out to be SC !! so now thats fixed in my head ...

do some spots /pimples take long time to go or can they stay for ever ...slightly ...

i must sound mad sorry ...

OP posts:
WorriedMouse · 10/03/2015 15:31

A few weeks ago I was convinced I had cervical cancer. It was all I worried about and it consumed me. GP investigated physical symptoms and I am fine but she also prescribed an anti-anxiety and I must say I am thinking more rationally now. Maybe you should get some help with anxiety. It's awful to be so consumed by worry.

Original poster
ballofworry · 10/03/2015 15:33

thanks its awful i cant focus today its all going on in my head , i am waiting to be contacted about CBT help for my anxiety i seek constant reasurance all the time ...hate it ... Sad

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WorriedMouse · 10/03/2015 15:44

I'm on sertraline which made things a whole lot worse for 2 weeks but then suddenly I had rational thoughts and the worry had gone. Hope you feel better soon.

pinkfrocks · 10/03/2015 16:08

yes you are over-reacting. Sorry but you did ask!
Most people who do not have anxiety would not even think 'cancer' they'd just think it was an annoying spot and not give it another thought.

Do you spend a lot of time online or reading stuff that 'feeds' your anxiety?

Most people when they read things like that think how sad for the person involved, but they never start relating it to themselves - not in the way you are.

You can get spots that never go. I have one on my thigh - it was a spot and it's now healed but I am left with a red raised 'spot' which is scar tissue and will never go unless someone chops it out.

Original poster
ballofworry · 10/03/2015 16:32

thanks pinfrocks , gosh your spot sounds like mine i must say same place to !maybe mines scar tissue to ...

i do spend time looking things up at times , but i get a trigger if i read something or see something on TV ...

i cant seem to help it , i hate myself for being like this Sad its just one thing after another ...

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pinkfrocks · 10/03/2015 16:55

Maybe look at it this way...
you can't help seeing stuff or reading it ( sometimes) but you can choose how you react.

You can choose to listen to your irrational head, or you can choose to listen to your rational head. YOU are in control of your thoughts- no one else.

I suggest you develop some mantra along the lines of' I will worry about that if it becomes a problem- and right now it's not.'

You could also develop some strategies for dumping the worrying thoughts- these might be a metaphor- ie seeing the worry as an image in your mind and watching it get smaller and smaller- or literally, where you go into another room, do some housework, make a phone call or anything to take your mind off it.

Have you heard of the book Mind over Mood- it's a classic CBT book to use on your own.

Original poster
ballofworry · 10/03/2015 17:10

thank you again pinfrocks Flowers
i will look it up ..i have a work sheet iv down loaded to try to .

i think maybe this spot is scar tissue as you have said i did sqweeze it ages ago .. Hmm see what im like Sad

hate my mind

OP posts:
Original poster
ballofworry · 16/03/2015 08:14

still doing my head in this worry got doctors appoinment tonight ..

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Original poster
ballofworry · 16/03/2015 20:22

doctor says she thinks its ok Hmm but only way to be sure would be to cut it out and doesnt want to put me through that really and to just see how it goes ...so not sure thats good or not ..

she also said can get melanomas that have no pigment but they are normally the black kind .

i have booked an appointment with dermitologist for wednesday to get checked un sure now to cancel or not .....
cant help but worry still .... so confused ...but will cost about £130 ....

any advice ?

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Original poster
ballofworry · 17/03/2015 07:29

bump

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 17/03/2015 11:30

I don't think there is much anyone can say. You are a worrier. Whatever anyone says won't make any difference because you will then find another spot or lump to worry about- and so it will continue.

If your GP doesn't know the answer then they ought to refer you to a dermo on the NHS and there is no need for you to pay. If they think whatever the lump is shows nothing serious then you ought to forget about it and get on with life.

Original poster
ballofworry · 17/03/2015 14:48

thanks pinkfrocks , i must sound crazy ...in my head its all i can think about and i cant escape this what if " voice ...

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pinkfrocks · 17/03/2015 15:27

why do you want to inflict this worry on yourself? It's a habit like any other and you somehow need to break it. In some ways this habit stops you engaging with life, fully. You need to ask yourself if this anxiety is ,in some perverse way, something that gives your life meaning - instead of you being free from it and able to engage in life and enjoy it.

What are you avoiding by clinging on to all of this anxiety which limits your enjoyment? Do you feel you don't deserve to be happy and less anxious?

You know it's irrational. Even if it was cancer then the cure-rate is over 95% if caught early.

Only you can decide if you want to change how you think- all the CBT and counselling in the world won't work unless you make up your mind to think differently.

what's stopping you?

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