The Back Pain Emporium is Open For Business. Browsers Welcome. Thread 7

[MatildaTheCat]

For anyone experiencing back pain it can be a terrifying time. What is wrong? Who can help? How long will this last? We,on this thread are here to support you;offer empathy and help to navigate the almost impossible task of getting a diagnosis and the right treatment.We are not doctors but people who have trodden this path slowly and painfully. We also chat a LOT and welcome all newcomers. It is strictly non competetive regarding pain and no niggle is too minor.

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn. And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us. Not to mention the pain of dealing with claiming disablity benefits. .

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly,sometimes drink , have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a and say hello

Previous thread for anyone interested

Pink, nice to see you. I am pretty sure that your manager has no rights whatsoever over what you do above your contracted hours. I hope your appraisal goes well. I'm guessing it's with her? Do stand firm on protecting your health. My BFF's dad has just been transferred to a bupa care home for bad dementia. She's delighted with the staff who are lovely. I'm sure it's not where you are but have some anyway as a thankyou to all of you. Such difficult work.

Take two with car today, called at 8 and nice young man promised to send someone immediately. Now I'm worried they won't send an automatic courtesy car and I will be stranded. Back does feel a bit quite a bit better today. Does anyone else get that? A random vile day with shed loads of drugs followed by a much better one? . I will never get my head round this.

ally, trust me you can get angry with a puppy! I am continuing to struggle with weight but am determined not to give in to cake .

Interesting about being told not to run berrie. I remember when I was very first told I had DDD (that was my very first diagnosis, at 8pm, over the telephone before the next lot of hcp went on to say it was not DDD, before eventually coming back full loop to the beginning). He told me that I would not be able to kayak again, or wear heels! Well, I can give up the heels no problem (ok, a little annoyed as I had only just started enjoying some lovely heels), but the kayaking, that made me very tearful indeed. Then I remember talking to a lead physio later on who said that was rubbish. He said it was more about what things you choose not to do over things you want to, it's about being selective. So, for example someone goes horse-riding and accepts that she can do that, but it means that other things are out for her and there is payback for choosing to horsehide. He said that people may choose to run, with the knowledge of potential impact, and risk it, but will choose to not wear the heels or do other impact type stuff. The first guy was very much 'ooh no you must do not any impact exercise, or anything involving twisting, you won't be able to kayak again I'm afraid, nor do rowing or anything similar'.

So, I guess, if I really want to run, I can probably find a way. I think I might work towards kayaking and bodyboarding again instead, as that won't be several times a week. I was thinking I might join a local club and get them to help me achieve the kayaking being aware of my back problem, instead of trying to go it alone and increasing the risk of messing it up. Bella is now old enough to join the local water sports club, so I might join too, and do some adult stuff while she does her stuff. I have been told that stationary cycling is great for bad backs, but, it's deeply, deeply boring.

pink I agree with matilda if you are offered the receptionist post, then that is your job, your current boss can't then have your time too. What an unsupportive woman.

ally I feel really fucking old But, I'm now of the opinion that I am not going to grow old gracefully, there will be none of this sensible clothes wearing, I will continue to dye the grey out of my hair, dress like a yoof (ish) and am leaning towards brighter colours (although, not at work, it's mostly all black, DD asks me why I wear black as my uniform!). I am certain I'll get louder in colour as I grow older until I am embarrassing

matilda hope the lower pain levels remain low. What a headspin that is seesaws so wildly without rhyme or reason I found that too before surgery. Hard to say now, as it seems that there is nothing specific causing my increased pain, but, I have generally upped my movement quite a bit so likely to increase the pain.

I have eaten half a packet of custard creams and half a Yorkie bar for breakfast. I now have horrible indigestion I didn't like the Yorkie bar, but the custard creams, well, they were on the side and I couldn't resist them, and they were definitely yummy.

I shall now be good and attempt to counteract that a little with some vitamins, some effervescent bit B complex stuff in an attempt to clear my skin a little.

I just tell people 'I have arthritis in my spine' it's just so much simpler than explaining exactly what's going on, and I guess it's as close to the truth as anything else I can say, that they will understand.

tempting Matilda - I have chocolate cake for lunch (not 3 meals a day honest!)

Pavlov you are bound to feel old at the minute but its temporary honest! I have started dying my hair bright red (at 57) cos I don't care! . I always wore black to work too but then I was in the funeral biz haha

Maybe we should say we have an invisible gorilla to cart around .. I can come up with a better one given time!

I was attacked by a gorilla????

Hope you are feeling less unwell now Matilda. I never know what to say about my back too - because I don't have a diagnosis as such, but I have a couple of chronic conditions too-so I tend to blame those in a non specific way, or mention having a dodgy back. I move oddly so I guess it must be at least a little bit obvious. Does anyone else do the giraffe splits instead of bending to reach down lower shelf?
Does anyone else have hardly any movement in their lumber spine? Today unusually I got a spot near the mirror in my Pilates class (those spaces always go first), and it was interesting to note how little movement I have left. Actually it was a bit of a shock too. I look really old! (Pavlov I bet you look lovely and youthful despite feeling a bit on the old side whilst you recover). I had been blaming my hamstrings for being too tight - but me thinks I have been ignoring the obvious. I tried standing so my legs were vertical (rather than tipping forwards at the top, in our modern way) -but I could not balance! Must find an AT teacher. I got a book but it is more about the history - interesting but I need lessons!
Ally - great minds and all (or is it just our age?) -I have been using bright raspberry coloured was out mousse on my hair- I would not wear it to work either! Doesn't really work on my mousy hair- except after some summer sun bleaching.
Enquired at the local swimming pool about the aqua jogging classes with the back belt style floats- sadly they hadn't a clue what I was talking about? I will go on looking - there are other pools not too far afield. I always get cold in a pool but I imagine the float would help keep you warmer.
Hope everyone is having a reasonable evening

You lot are funny!

Mags is a normal aquarobics class too tame for you? They are incredible popular at my club. I have to time my visits to avoid them because it's impossible to swim in the lane left for hardy types whilst the tidal waves of disco in the water build ever higher .

Well, the auto car was, indeed missing so sent back and the actual auto turned up after multiple calls at 6 pm some 24 hours late. Who knows when I will see my own car again?

Still on a brighter note in went for another massive facial today. Best thing ever. ( ok, very confessional, had electrolysis on my chin, too), it's sensationally good and my skin is the best ever having been prone to spots all my life. Surely better than addiction to tramadol and codeine? Other than that have done a huge amount of lying down.

Song anyone ever feel their life is drifting past without much meaning? Don't want to stir up sad feelings but genuinely, what can I do to be more 'real' or useful?

Lastly, good news. My kitchen is almost finished. Glass splash back was fitted today and looks fab. Just the bit behind the hob to do....

Nighty night.

Matilda glad your bff dads is getting excellent care, our home is lovely but orevious to it being bupa is was a barchester home, then it was excellent. I really enjoy my job but I know that I am not giving the care that I know I can give as we so short staffed and gaining more poorly residents, that require a lot more care than maybe some of the previous ones.
Its a shame as I try and think if it was my family I would want them to get excellent care and attentionm especially for what they pay.
The food, the restaurant and the grounds are excellent, and the activities they have are greatm even organise trips out. We are in northants, and get trips to mk, the theatre, local garden centres etc.
My new phone arrived today so have been having a play with that, I have kept dd and the pup well away from it.
hope everyone is keeping ok, I will be glad for some warm weather as I do not like the cold, I suffer with raynauds as well, so hate the cold. We had snow shower this morning just at school run time, which is typical.
what are everyone's plansfor the weekend, my dh is starting work at 3am, start of 4 on, and dd had said can she sleepover at her friends tomorrow night. So not sure what I will do.

Raspberry hair sounds nice Maggs! You should really try AT - I paid privately and it was worth it. Now squat like a toddler and can stay down there long enough to fill or empty the washing machine! Also walking a bit differently which keeps me going longer.

How about - "its an old karate injury" - makes us sound exciting (I am soooo not exciting) - liking that one.

Matilda I am thinking of voluntary work - I used to do loads when I was fitter and its really rewarding and they make you feel you have done something awesome (and you'd be great at it!) Doesn't have to be much - an hour or 2 a week.

Pink the staff in my Mum's home are fab - you guys do such a great job for so little pay! .

Its bleeding freezing here (for a change) but I am still chirpy with no work and off for afternoon tea up town with a pal later - yes more haha!

Ally I used to volunteer at a charity for disabled pre schoolers. I LOVED it though it was very physical and tiring. So I can't do that. I need something that is neither physical nor tied to sitting. And flexible because I HATE letting people down. I actually rather love charity shops but I'm not up to the lifting etc. one of these days I'm hoping the right thing will come along and I will just 'know'. And preferably something I've not done before. I did so much with disadvantaged teenagers before, I have a big skill set there but somehow I think I need something different. My BFF volunteers at the V&A which she adores but again, too physical . What about you? Any ideas?

pink, my mil is in a Barchester home. I wouldn't say it was all that excellent, especially the food but she is happy there. The staff are nice but not friendly in the way I remember being when I worked in that environment, more like hotel staff IYSWIM?

Woken up very sore and stiff, surely haven't overdone it at the beauty salon. Currently waiting for drugs to work. Damn.

Could you do volunteering in somewhere like V&A matilda and use a wheelchair? My mum used to be a guide for Greenwich Maritime Museum and Observatory when she retired (paid, as she didn't really retire) which she loved (apart from having to use modern things like the electronic till and card readers when they stuck her on the front desk).

Or, how about becoming a trainer for the pain management course you did? In our area, there is one that is run by the local volunteer bureau called The Expert Patient's programme, and is run mostly by volunteers with a paid coordinator, I was asked if I would be a volunteer trainer once i completed (go on a training course, as it's accredited) but at the time I couldn't commit to the two programmes minimum a year that I needed to with work. You have to do the course to be able to run it, which was important as you need to be coming from a point of understanding, experience with it. Maybe the pain management course you did was run by paid staff but they might be interested in having volunteer helpers/people coming in to give talks, or see if there is something else similar you can work on? Maybe talk to your local volunteer guild for some ideas.

Matilda I am still looking but like you only seeing stuff I have done before (admin, committees, etc) - one I am watching is for Marie Curie and the other for a counselling charity - both of which I like so might just go for that but did want something different. Am looking at the food bank but wonder how much help I can be with not being able to lift? That pain thing sounds perfect for you as you already know so much (and help us all in here)

I was hoping something would just land on my lap (fate) but probably have to look haha!

First festival of the year!! bearded festival Yey! Their accessibility is fab, right down to having fridges and locked safes for medicine that people want locked away, people to help put up tents, flat area to pitch up tents, wheelchair users can use service areas if the ground is too muddy, AND, what a fantastic lineup!!

Pavlov, delighted you are feeling up to booking summer festivals! a sure sign you are on the mend! Will you get started on growing your beard straight away or would you be content with a small goatee? ( Actually, I've recently had some electrolysis and swear it's the best think I've ever done. Magic).

Having some very extreme days, often waking in pain which is, of course a bad sign. Yet other days have been quite tolerable. Trying hard not to overthink these things.

Kitchen is almost finished, hurrah and horray. The glass splash back lots gorgeous. Just the are behind the hob to be tiled ( mother of pearl mosaic) and we are pretty much done. Other than some missing handles over which I have no control. So that's good.

We are going to the Far East over Easter to visit family which is becoming reasonably soon now. We are planning a few days alone in Malaysia, anyone been? Looking at an area called Langkawi. Which makes me mindful of the fact that it will be hot and stripping off to swimwear will be non optional so I should be a bit less reckless with the and < don't eat much cake but there is no toast emoticon>.

What is everyone up to? Waves to you all and look forward to some updates of everyday life. Those not posting, I hope you are ok. Haven't seen Bubby around lately, do hope you are healing and ok if you are reading. Too many names to mention but hello to you all.

Hi all
just popping in to say hello. It's been a hard week pain wise and I've been feeling very sorry for myself.
I never see my kids cos I fall asleep as soon as I get home. I sleep so much. I wonder about fibromyalgia, sleep doesn't seem to help and I hurt all over. Feeling pathetic and like a burden.
I've got my injections next sat and am trying to be positive for them. I have a study day today as I need to get started so imagine more pain this evening. for you all. Sorry for the moan!!

Sorry you have not had a great week tickle I remember that awful feeling of tiredness. I do think that constant pain does wipe it out. It might be worth asking the doc to do some investigations to rule out other things, but it could simply be chronic pain as I used to go straight to bed after work/kids tea due to pain and tiredness. I now force myself up til they are in bed, but sometimes that's hard to do and I often crash as soon as they are asleep. I hope it eases for you a little this week.
matilda sorry your pain is shit too this week, but yey for almost completed kitchen, and for your trip! I can't answer your questions about malaysia as never been that far from England

Thanks Pavlov. I suppose I just want a name for this hell
I need to snap out of it! Maybe it's because the injections are coming up and I'm dreading them not working...

Glad your kitchen is finished and you are pleased with it Matilda, but sorry you have been waking in pain, and had extra hard days. Nice to have a family visit to look forward to.
Tickle I am so sorry you are struggling with both pain and exhaustion. Does the GP know you are very fatigued and hurting all over? If not I agree best to check it out. It is difficult to not be too hopeful for the injections - getting the right balance of positivity is difficult. I have CFS so often find the heavy fatigue more limiting and debilitating than the constant pain that goes with it.
Pavlov, that festival sounds lovely! How is your kitchen going?
Ally I will look for an AT instructor. Thank you for the extra push. I am very forgetful at present (head full of house planning and logistics).
Stiff today (you all know that I don't just mean stiff!) as I had a lot of driving to do yesterday - partly due to getting a bit lost. Ds has overnight respite every so often and one fell Friday night/ Saturday morning, (so we get a proper nights sleep every so often) great - but he was very unusually invited to a classmates party -Ds loves parties and is very fond of the birthday child- no problem I just arranged to collect him early and drive him from one place to another. Unfortunately, the respite staff forgot so sent him off on a trip to the cinema. I knew he would be devastated to miss his friends party so I had to drive after them, find him and then dash off in the opposite direction for the party venue. We were a little late, and ds (who of course cannot drive but uses a lot of phrases learnt from films) kept repeating 'I could drive better!' wanting me to drive faster! I compounded things by getting a little lost around a one way system and the satnav taking me to the wrong place - so back around the one way! Not as exciting as your getting stuck in a narrow lane next to a perilous cliff, Pavlov! Ds enjoyed what was left of the party.
How is every one else?

Helloooo everyone.
Had a big lie in this morning and my back did not like it at all! Dh had to help me dress as I had what I would call a pre spasm spasm. New to me actually possibly as usually too busy getting on to have the luxury to think about it but I felt it was close to 'going'. I walked round and round trying to walk it off and then lay down a bit and I was ok. There are some lessons in there somewhere.
matilda...am going to need a picture of your mother if pearl tiles! They sound great!
What's going on for everyone tomorrow? I have a smear test to look forward to. Yippee!

Berrie, well it's true you can't beat a good old smear test . Hope that spasm passes but listen to your back. It speaks.

mag I hate that stiffness, especially after driving. We are getting an automatic as I simply cannot drive our current car. Hope it has eased through the day a little.

Our kitchen is mostly done, but the builder has done a bunk. He was meant to build our larder cupboards, and had agreed to fit ladder into the small loft space close to it. He was meant to do it before christmas, ran out of time, said new year, told us mid/end Jan when he came back in January to empty our yard of all the shit he left there and now he is out of communication! He was planning on moving back up North after his marriage broke down, and I think he has moved sooner rather than later, which is not great, as this larder was integral to the kitchen, so we have a few boxes we can't unpack, and it's difficult to organise the cupboards properly as the things in them depend on whether we have the larder cupboard or not! Also, in our bedroom is all our camping gear, which DH hasn't put in our main loft (the 'eaves' of our loft converted bedroom) as we were waiting to put it in the other loft as it's easier to access. And all the paint etc is piled up in the hallway where the old cupboard was, in boxes as we had left it out in prep for painting that area of the hallway when the new cupboard was put in, the loft ladder and hath is there, with some plinth, and the carpet in that section is still up and the underly is getting ruined.

There are a couple of snags in the kitchen which he needs to fix too, a bit of plastering around the window which needs doing before we can put new blinds up, and some sanding behind the extractor which needs doing before we can paint that (quite main focus of the room) bit of wall. DH can do it really, but, well, he won't! Always the bloody way though isn't it?

We can't go to Beautiful Days this year due to the timing of it and our trip to USA. We will have only been back about 8-10 days max before it, and I am pretty sure neither DH's or my employers will be happy about us taking almost 3 weeks off work, then another 3-4 days straight away! And, really, we can't afford it straight after USA, pretty certain we will be more than broke when we return clothes and electrical items. The Bearded Theory Festival is much cheaper in the first instance, and is in May so we can sort of pretend we can afford it then! And James are headlining and DH has not seen them live and has wanted to for a long time (I have seen them twice already), it's also meant to be a fab family festival, although clearly encourages people to take their children out of school as it starts the Thursday before half term Although I can deal with the grief from school taking them out for two days (actually, the head teacher is brilliant about this kind of thing. She is very much for having holidays and gets how hard it is for many families to do outside of holiday times due to cost, south west being a tourist industry to lots of people work in the summer etc, so as long as child's school attendance is good and no issues with class work etc, she will not pass on this kind of unauthorised absence to LA, she just can't formally 'authorise' it).

Your road trip sounds eventful. I quite like getting lost, although not when I am meant to be somewhere specific. I am glad you made it although a little late and DS had a good time. Grr that the respite team forgot!

berrie oh I hate knowing that my back is going to go! Did you manage to sort the spasm out? You've just reminded me, I am due my smear, but difficult to arrange as I don't have periods due to a fucking awesome side effect of the contraceptive implant that I have in. Oh, and me never getting around to it Maybe I should do it while I am off work, get it over with.

My plans are mostly looking after a poorly DS, who may, or may not wake up full of beans tomorrow. So either I will be looking after a DS who is bouncing off the walls, or one who is like today, and full of fever, chills, wobbly legs, feeling dizzy. I am not going to send him to school tomorrow whatever he wakes up like, he is only 5, he can have another day recovering as he has been pretty rotten most of the day and his sleep is currently restless (he is next to me right now) Either way, it's a bloody good reason to have a second day of doing pretty much fuck all.

A positive is that I don't need my water bottle, as he is a little hot water bottle all of his own, and likes to keep rolling over and reaching out for me and cuddling into me, and I am roasting! I could happily manage without the hot stingy breath though

Kitchen sound sfab Matilda - agree we need pics of those tiles

I have found that too Berrie - if you act fast when you feel it coming on you can stop it by gentle walking/lying down/drugs

Hope everyone has a good day