A question for the teetotallers/rare drinkers out there - how do you relax??

[essbee]

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probably the same as most other people who have posted - books, TV, exercise, sex when I can get it! Anything where I have to mentally focus on something else - don't find baths relaxing as it just gives me more time to think about my stresses.

Neither me nor my husband drink. I have had about two drinks in the last three years, but of that time, one year was TTC & being pregnant, and one year was b.feeding. But even so, very very rarely drink!
If I do drink it tends to be on a night out with friends, which doesn't happen often!
To unwind at home, I veg out in front of telly. I love to watch CSI so I tend to have CSI nights. I like to surf mumsnet. I like to read a damn good book. More often than not I'll be on my laptop, bashing out some drivvel of a story once DD is in bed & DH is tinkering around on his PC. Hot bath and a good book and a big bar of chocolate works for me too!

Yes, forgot that one - I write too. In a really nice looking journal, even though what I write in it might be total nonsense, doens't matter: its MY space and I can let off steam there, blame everyone in sight (ie dh ), have fantasies, or just play.

Playing is really really important - when I stopped drinking (no kudos to me, would have died aged 25 if I hadn't and I had loads of help) I found that the thing I most needed to find to replace booze was FUN. Silly, hair down, mad, fun.

I rarely feel like a drink, very rarely, but if I do its usually because I need to have some fun or be a bit rebellious, or because I am thirsty. Thats me, though - everyones' are different.

I don't drink because I hate the way it makes me feel the next day, but I hate the way spliff makes me feel the next day just as much!

Anything that really absorbs your attention is a great way to relax imo - that might be any of the suggestions here, whatever floats your particular boat ... I switch off by studying, which is stressful in its own way, but it's my thing that's completely separate from the stuff in my everyday life, if that makes sense.

This really is useful stuff! I just thought of some things I could do to cut back on the booze too.

Baking - it's quite relaxing and I want to get into making bread as I think I can start it in the evening and leave it overnight to rise, pop it in the oven first thing in the morning and have fresh bread! Well, that's how it works in my little ideal world anyway! Or cakes so that you can scoff them all afterwards! Cooking is very therapeutic.

Reading - I can get absorbed by a good book so that every spare 10mins I get I'm delving into the pages! I should go to the library at the weekend and get a book out every week, not just for me but for the kids too.

Journal - that's a very good idea! You can do an online blog about how you are trying to cope with everyday stresses, so for you essbee that would be without the booze, with your son, family etc. It's good therapy writing it all down and not only that but you can get feedback from it too!

Exercise - difficult to do when you are at home alone with the kids, but I think I recall you have a punchbag in the garage essbee? Why not use it for yourself? 20 minutes every evening just punching the stresses away!

And to avoid unnecessary stress in the evenings, I have that caller ID on my phone so I can choose who I answer the phone to. If it's family or someone I know will cause anxiety then I simply don't answer!

I hope some of these suggestions are useful for you essbee, they've certainly made me think! Now you just have to put them into practice! What are your thoughts so far? What will you do in the evenings do you think?

bumping for essbee

I never feel 'the need' for a drink, it just doesn't do anything for me really, doesn't float my boat in other words. I enjoy something fizzy if I have to have a drink i.e. at a social event but I don't need it.
There is a history of alcoholism in my own and dh's families so I have a real 'thing' about alcohol. If it was introduced now I'm sure it would be classed as a serious drug - it has ruined too many lives.
If I need to relax I enjoy listening to mellow classical music, in bed, on my own, reading a good book or wadge of mags. Dim lighting & a lovely cosey, warm bedroom.
Time on my own is key, away from everything and everyone. Be a hermit for an evening.

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Cookies and cream Haagan Daas!

wouldn't cross my mind to open a bottle of wine if I was stressed. alcohol would just increase the chance of getting a stress-related headache. I go to bed with a book, or watch one of my "mashed potato" films (casablanca, when harry met sally, dirty dancing, etc etc).

I drink hardly anything, really, only when offered - have never opened a bottle or made a drink for myself when I'm alone in the house.

poof

( it sme cod) but pph you and i drank at lunch time at ours aand thebottle was already open_

my dh always has wine in the evening - I hardly ever do - so there is often a bottle open (he doesn't drink the whole thing).

I think that was the last time I had a drink at lunchtime cod - and that was, what, 6 months ago?!!

god you lot no she is hammered all the time
slurring and driblling

Never drunk, me.

I do shoot heroin regularly, however. Most relaxing

lol

tea NOT Earl Grey

I do think you need to do as someone suggested. Take a couple of your favourite ideas from here and make them a routine for you. That way, and this will take time, you will associate those things with your chilling out time and you will start to benefit from them, just as you associate a drink with relaxing too.

I think it would help to shift your views of booze, after all it is meant to be a stimulant so use it on social occasions with friends, but not to chill out on your own.

Once you have set your routine give it a few weeks to work, don't give up!

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