what is life like without Alcohol? Positives please.

[freshlysharpenedpencils]

Today is the day I stop drinking. I have woken up once again in pain, feeling sick, depressed and feeling bloated and fat. I have an upset stomach. I have always used alcohol as a crutch - as a stress reliever and as my 'fun'. Enough is enough. I am fed up of feeling like this. But I have always always been a heavy drinker (wine).

I find it synonymous with so many occasions and cuisines! Don't get me started on Christmas.

So my question I suppose is - what is life like without alcohol? Any positives? Anyone given it up and never looked back? Can I still enjoy weekends, christmas, holidays etc without alcohol?

Look up the DRY thread. Very supportive posters who've walked the walk.

Just do it one night at a time rather than making it big.

After 3-5 nights off it straight you'll not wake up feeling the way you are today. Your energy levels will shoot up because your body has been able to have a proper sleep.

Good for you in deciding to make this change.

I don't drink through choice. I don't have a problem with it, or any moral objections,, just stopped when I was on medication that didn't mix and then realised I wasn't bothered by it. I have a good time at meals, parties etc, and an even better time the next day.

yes - I have been waking up at 3am or 4am on the dot...

I used to drink loads as teenager early 20's. Now very very rarely drink 5 or 6 times a year. I am very happy. I could never have envisioned this. That life could be fun. But new things can become habits. Life really is enjoyable. It's that same with people that give up smoking. You just get used to it.

There are loads of positives It may feel like your life is going to be a gloom laden cycle of not having fun and being dull as fuck forever, it did for me to start with, but I am 11 months in and theseare the good things:

a) I am no longer constantly losing my temper and screaming at the family because I feel guilty/hungover/embarrassed about something I did the night before
b) I can run 10k
c) I sleep brilliantly
d) I have lost about 6 lbs
e) I can cope with problems without drowning them
f) my husband has fallen back in love with the me he knew was there a long time ago
g) My children aren't scared of me.

Many many others, but honestly, it is a real life now. Come and join us on Dry if you can.

of course it's not all roses and bubbles but it's easier to get them .

The 'firsts' can be hard - Christmas, birthdays, holidays, but it can be done. Look at how children run around being happy and getting on with life. they don't need alcohol to have fun.

It is bloody hard at first, no doubt about it, but surely the pain you are in now can't be preferable?

Biggles, Allan Carr??

OP - I gave up for 6 months earlier this year - it was great. I had more energy, more money, exercises more and the thing I wasn't expecting but which was the biggest bonus was very stable moods - no seesawing between being tired/grumpy/hungover and happy (pissed).

I now only drink on a Saturday night, and that works for me.

No I didn't read him! Am I sounding like him!!

Hope this isn't a terribly inappropriate suggestion but you could do the Macmillan Go Sober challenge which coincidentally starts today. That gives you a short term goal (October) and you get to be part of a bigger thing and raise money for Macmillan. And if you want you can tell people you're doing it and don't need to go into the real reasons why you want to stop.

This is wonderful. I like your positives. When you say 'join us on Dry' what do you mean?
I suffer from depression and I know the alcohol doesn't help. I know I'll have a more stable mood. I also put on weight yet only eat 1 meal a day. The amount of wine calories I consume is crazy. Thanks for your support.

Littleomar that sounds good. I'll check it out. With my friends and family if I say I'm not drinking they assume I'm pregnant or dying! My partner says unhelpful things like 'but it's Saturday... You have to have a drink!' It would be fine but I don't know when to stop. I can't just have one. It has to be a bottle. And it has to be Friday night and then sat... And then i may as well as it's Sunday. And then.., well we're eating pasta so you have to have a red, and then well I'm having fish so I have to have a nice white... And it just doesn't stop.

Soory the thread is called 'Dry' here we are!

Biggles, yes he says exactly that! Basically, look how much little kids enjoy themselves at a birthday party and all sans-alcohol!

Blimey! I just remember the last time I drank, I was going from one pub to another well 'on the way' and I saw a group of children with their mums all happy and excited and I felt so sad that I couldn't be like that too. I think, subconsciously, that helped me decide.

I stopped the next day (October 28th 2013)

I don't drink habitually.

The pleasure in weekends and events is the socialising, not the beer. I don't give a toss about the beer.

I certainly prefer mornings without alcohol. Even a small amount screws with my sleep and leaves me tired.

I get some really, really great photos because I'm sober, and have some really good conversations because I'm sober. I always get my pick if the jukebox, because I'm quick enough to get on it first, because I'm sober.

I have the energy to get up at five am on Christmas Day, because I'm sober. I can get in my car and nip out, because I'm sober.

My life is better sober. Sometimes I want to get drunk, but that's because I want to be drunk. Real life is better lived sober.

freshly, that's the thing isnt' it - there's no end of excuses to open a bottle. Good for you for deciding to stop. I cut down massively a couple of years ago because, like you, I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. It's just not as much fun as its cracked up to be. I used to get through 4-5 bottles of wine over a weekend - that just horrifies me now! These days its one bottle over the whole weekend, or 2-3 pints. Nothing during the week. I feel so much better for it. I keep flirting with the idea of stopping completely but haven't got there......yet......

I do have the odd period (a month or so) of not drinking at all and here's what I love about it:

• better sleep
• no sore head
• no sick stomach
• being able to make plans and stick to them, not wondering if you will be too hungover to do X
• weight loss
• save money
• more stable moods
• more energy = more exercise = more endorphins = greater sense of achievement = feeling better about yourself in general

Go for it. It takes about a month to break a habit. Stick with it and it wil become your new normal very quickly.

I fell off the wagon last weekend having not had a drink since March. I'm back on it, because I was reminded of the negatives of drinking:

Not remembering what happened and that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that you've embarrassed yourself

Bad sleep

Looking and feeling like arse the next morning.

Life without drinking is just so much better. Most of all I feel clear headed. And I'm losing weight far more easily. My skin is much smoother and I'm just happier.

Good luck with not drinking, it felt natural quite quickly. I relapsed because of a stressful time at home so it helps to work on keeping your stress levels down.

Sometimes I want to get drunk, but that's because I want to be drunk. Real life is better lived sober.

Yes.

I hope you don't mind my posting OP since I have never had a drinking issue and I don't actually drink much at all. So in one sense I'm totally the wrong person to speak but this:

Can I still enjoy weekends, christmas, holidays etc without alcohol?

from your post jumped out at me simply because from my perspective, alcohol has nothing to do with how much I enjoy those events. It's simply not the bit that I enjoy in any of them. I like a glass of wine now and again but it doesn't define those events in my mind at all. Weekends are (in theory) kickback time, stop going to work, lie in a bit, dance around in the kitchen to the radio Christmas is be with family, eat too much, sing Mary's Boy Child, holidays are eat too much, be with family, read good books, lounge about. (note the repetition of "eat too much"!)

It's just interesting that for you,you view alcohol as the bit that you enjoy in all of those events and I'm wondering whether the other elements to those events, the ones I've listed, are somehow not satisfying to you. Are family christmasses actually stressful for you and therefore it's not that you enjoy the alcohol bit of it, it's that you use it to get through miserable moments? If so I guess that's a different issue for you to grapple with. Or have you forgotten that you do love these simple pleasures (like the children at a party) and you need to find a way to reconnect to them?

Apologies if I am off base here given my lack of personal experience. Alcohol simply isn't an issue for me (which I think is purely a matter of luck/genetics/whatever - it just isn't my thing) and therefore I could be completely on the wrong track.

sorry I hope my post didn't sound really naïve or pollyannaish. I only clicked on your post because I'm interested in the general topic and in why some people get to where you and some people don't - all I know is, it's not an issue of moral fibre.

Quangle - i don't know how it happened or why - my life just became so linked with drinking. Maybe it's down to being very shy when I was younger or low self esteem... Then maybe it just turned into a habit over 20 so years. There's a romanticism in my head linked with it. When I watch a movie or TV program and they're having a glass of red wine together or having champagne I want to be them! (They are always fresh faced, slim and beautiful!) and I honestly can't think of an event without immediately jumping to drink (and food). I have no clue why. Take Christmas - I immediately think of German markets, mulled wine, champagne , Buck's Fizz in the morning. If I think of birthday - drink. Weekend - drink. Watching X factor - drink. And I link it with food - steak- red wine. Olives - red wine. Etc. I watch program's about Mediterranean diet and think how beautiful and romantic. Pass me the wine. It is so intrinsically linked with everything in my life - and I don't know why!
As far as life - I drank to cope with work stress too - but I don't work anymore (SAHM) and my family and I have a great relationship. In the middle of oct I have a mini break with friends... It is accepted/expected that drink will feature heavily.
I wish I didn't have an issue - I really do.

And no - your Q didn't sound bad at all - I wish I knew the answer too. I have an addictive streak. I always think thank God I never started smoking or drugs... I'd never stop. I'm also an all or nothing girl. I always do one of two extremes! Like eat everything or eat nothing, no inbetween.
Sometimes I also think it's like I feel I 'deserve' wine! How dare anyone deprive me of what I want!! (Spoiled only child).
God I really am a terrible person.

I've joined the 'Dry' thread

'God I really am a terrible person'

You are not a terrible person. We are surrounded by messages all the time that urge you to 'treat' yourself with something material - food, wine, a new handbag, that new pair of boots, whatever. Like you said in an earlier post, there is no end to this. 'Ive had a hard day - I'll 'treat' myself', I made it through Monday - I'll 'treat' myself, I feel good today - I'll 'treat' myself, I feel crap today - I'll 'treat' myself, its the weekend - I'll 'treat' myself, the weekend is over - I'll 'treat' myself. All these messages are about making decisions on impulse and sod the consequences. It feels great at the time so its easy to go along with it.

The thing is, these 'treats' have to work for you. How much of a treat is it if it leaves you feeling like you've been run over by a train the next morning?! I used to wonder why I could stay sober during the working week without much difficulty at all, but ruin my weekends (which was my time) by knocking back too much booze. I'm still not sure why exactly, but it just seemed more and more crazy over time.

Go easy on yourself, especially in the next few weeks. You're making a big change to your life so keep strong x