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General health

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Original poster

How do you know if you're wasting Dr's time?

87 replies

Pyrrhagena · 15/06/2014 09:01

Have a doctors appointment tomorrow (smear, can't get out of it, I've already cancelled once) and there's something I'm not sure if I should mention or not. How do you know if it's something you should ask about or if it something that means they will think you are crazy and paranoid?

OP posts:

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 18/06/2014 06:46

He gets angry that you are causing him to work with little sleep - do you think that appropriate? DH has to work after I tell him things about the DC, our parents etc that stress him out and means he doesn't sleep well just as I have lost many night's sleep worrying about his Dad.

That's just tough and how life is. He needs to know these things just as I need to know these thingd as they affect both of us and we are there to support each other through whatever life chucks at us. He would be very hurt if I didn't tell him something g like this, certainly not angry with me for making him work with little sleep.

PowderMum · 18/06/2014 06:46

Stop acting like a martyr, share your worries with your DH, tell him what the Dr said, from what you have posted it sounds as if you really need to talk to someone. I really don't think you should be internalising your issues it's not healthy.

Original poster

Pyrrhagena · 18/06/2014 20:05

I told him. He raised his eyebrows, sighed and said "Again?" I explained that it wasn't quite the same as before and he looked revolted (don't blame him). He has been ignoring me this evening apart from a few disgusted looks and sarcastic comments (although this could be because I had planned a hot dinner and he wanted a cold one.) He has now gone to bed. I guess he needs time to digest the news...

OP posts:

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/06/2014 20:07

He sounds like an arse. Your partner is meant to support you and be there for you, not treat your illness as an inconvenience. What a twat.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 18/06/2014 20:45

So there was no element of concern for you, he ignored you, gave you disgusted looks, was sarcastic and criticised what you cooked for him, all at a time when you need some moral support ?

That must be very upsetting to say the least, how does that make you feel?

Original poster

Pyrrhagena · 18/06/2014 21:20

That I wish I hadn't told him. To be fair, it does sound, well, it is, disgusting so I can kind of understand his reaction. Although a hug would have been nice, actually it seemed like he went out of his way to avoid all physical contact with me.

OP posts:

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/06/2014 21:32

And do you think his behaviour is acceptable? I don't, he sounds horrible.

Matildathecat · 18/06/2014 22:06

It doesn't sound disgusting it sounds upsetting and worrying.

You seem to have anticipated this kind of reaction. Maybe get this moved to Relationships. Not to say LTB but at least consider your options.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 18/06/2014 22:31

WHY are you with him?

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 19/06/2014 07:07

I agree that it's not disgusting but sounds very upsetting and worrying and something people expect support from their partners for. Personally I would be very hurt.

How does it make you feel the fact that he was avoiding physical contact with you and do you think that is acceptable in a relationship ?

Original poster

Pyrrhagena · 19/06/2014 07:49

Well, it does seem disgusting to me. Especially since I went on Google...and now I just feel sick most of the time! I am trying not to think about it. He woke me (not deliberately) at 5 this morning, yawn, when he came in the bedroom to get dressed and did give me a hug then, so, phew, it would seem he is not totally repulsed by me. He is very (secretly) squeamish and it's not the first time he's gone for avoidance e.g. When I had morning sickness the as soon as I woke up he would leap out of bed and run to the other end of the flat! And when I told him of some problems I was having after having DC2 he wouldn't come near me until I'd seen a doctor.

I feel a bit (I don't know, not good with feelings!) flat, empty I suppose. I can't insist he hugs me if he doesn't want to,can I? That would just annoy him more. What sort of support should I expect? It's not like anything is different than usual, i don't know how long I've had it (although could it be from the month I had a pregnancy scare?) so I can't suddenly claim "I'm ill" can I? I am pretty exhausted, but I think that is more my inability to go to sleep before 11 and the DC's ability to wake up at 5 rather than the bleurgh growth.

OP posts:

Badvoc2 · 19/06/2014 07:53

Wow.
You are not disgusting...you have a medical issue.
MN amazes me....I find it hard to believe men like this exist, and that women think it's ok to be treated this way :(

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