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Original poster

Lung Cancer - Shit

103 replies

RomeoC · 01/06/2014 12:12

I posted this under a different nickname but as I had a whole namechange failure I asked MN to delete it

I'll PM the nice people who posted to explain......but this is where I'm at:

My Dad has lung cancer
He is 70
He gave up smoking at New Year

Shit, shit, shit

I'm using an old name as I don't want DD to know until after her GCSEs

Shit, shit, shit

He has an appointment a week on Wednesday to discuss his options (which I think is a hellishly long time to wait)

It is 8cms
I've known now for 90 mins
He found out at 7pm last night after an Xray & a scan on Wednesday

Shit, shit, shit

Good news is that there is no cancer on any of his other organs - if that can be good news

I get to do all the paperwork if he dies - we're going to build a spreadsheet of passwords Hmm

OP posts:
KatyMac · 24/06/2014 14:16

It's been a rough few days, & my dad had the phone call - no appointment tomorrow

It's at 3pm Thursday

I get to go (which is good, I think) as my mum might be in a different hospital by then

honeybeeridiculous · 24/06/2014 18:36

Sorry to hear about your mum, it's probably not helping her health with the stress of it all. It's good you can go to the appointment with your dad, I used to go with my dad when I could, sometimes they don't take it all in and you can also ask questions, especially your concerns with the disorganisation of scans, dates and the like.
(((Hugs))) to you all

KatyMac · 24/06/2014 21:08

She had bypass surgery on her leg at Easter & it seems to be infected - previously she had bypass surgery 5 yrs ago

We didn't think my dad would go first

KatyMac · 26/06/2014 18:19

It's small cell

Chemo for quality of life

Shit

honeybeeridiculous · 26/06/2014 18:50

Sorry katy
Chemo for quality of life sounds pretty grim Thanks
What does small cell mean? How did your dad take the news? Were you able to be with him?
I really hope you have more answers now after today's meeting ((hugs))

KatyMac · 26/06/2014 18:59

Small cell is aggressive & grows fast

Dad (& I) knew already - he is resigned

I am desolate

Wadingthroughsoup · 26/06/2014 20:37

I'm sorry to read this Katy. I wish the news could have been better.

My mum had chemo but knew from the start it wouldn't get rid of her cancer. Sorry to say that in her case, it simply prolonged her life a little- it had a detrimental effect on her quality of life.

I know that isn't what you'd want to hear and I'm sorry to say it. I hope things will be a bit different for your dad.

It is utterly devastating to receive news like this. Be kind to yourself and lean on whoever you can lean on to help get you through.

KatyMac · 26/06/2014 21:03

Thanks Sad

honeybeeridiculous · 26/06/2014 21:19

Sorry katy that's devastating, you have to take each day as it comes now (easier said than done, I know) look after yourself and make the days count.
If your dad is anything like mine he will try to protect the rest of the family and not want to worry you. Since my dad was diagnosed I feel we have become closer and can talk about things.
And you have that beautiful daughter to keep you busy and take your mind off things (((hugs)))

KatyMac · 26/06/2014 21:28

I must have used a box of tissues tonight

I must drink something or I will get dehydrated

I asked when my brother should come over from Sweden - I suggested July, September of Christmas. The doctor said July

Safeinourbubble · 26/06/2014 21:29

Hi Katy,

It seems very odd to say but my Mum was "luckier" and got 18 months - had chemo and radiotherapy - and was reasonably OK on it. She had a wobbly week - slept a lot - but the other 2 weeks of off-time from treatment were virtually normal, apart from the load of drugs she had to take and the change in taste buds. Would she tell your Dad to try it? Yes, I think she would but then, if it is awful to jettison it.

Take care.

Wadingthroughsoup · 26/06/2014 21:43

It's encouraging to know that chemo isn't too gruelling for everyone, safe.

Funnily enough, I'm pretty sure my mum would make the same choices again if she could, even though her chemo made her quite ill. It was just something she felt she had to do and we certainly weren't going to stop her. So in that sense, it was the right thing for her.

Katy, having to contemplate such a short timescale is just bewildering. I can't offer advice on how to process that, because there is no way to process it, I don't think.

We had 5 weeks with my dad, from his diagnosis. I couldn't get my head round it, and I still can't, one year on.

Have you had contact with Macmillan yet? They can be a great support to loved-ones, as well as to the patient themselves.

honeybeeridiculous · 26/06/2014 21:48

Get your brother over here anyway, you can lean on each other for a while, are there any other siblings?
My Bro lives away and he couldn't stand to be away, he had to rely on phone calls and texts from me for updates and just wanted to see dad for himself. In a way I felt privalidged (sp) to be nearby.
I can't begin to know how devastated you must feel right now, but I have been there to some extent.

Safeinourbubble · 26/06/2014 22:49

Wading, my Mum used to boast about her reaction to chemo and the fact she never had a problem with her mouth. [I need a resigned daughter emoticon here].

Katy, the sooner rather than later advice is good, in that, your Dad will have more energy now than further into this illness. The last couple of months my Mum stopped going places and could no longer cope with many visitors.

Honey is so right - it is a privilege to keep company with a beloved parent. I used to live abroad and our return to the UK coincided with my Mum's diagnosis - I can't imagine how I would have coped living further away.

KatyMac · 27/06/2014 10:47

The do

KatyMac · 27/06/2014 10:49

The doctor today gave him nearly double the guy yesterday and a 20% chance of survival which is bloody amazing compared to yesterday

KatyMac · 27/06/2014 14:08

Then they couldn't fit him in for chemo today & asked him to come next Friday

Well fuck that! He said don't bother - he was told it would start today

digerd · 27/06/2014 16:26

OP
My DH had a small cell, but was already advanced and had spread.
Specialist said the small cell reacts very successfully to the chemo.
He began his 3months Chemo 2 weeks after biopsy results, then a month of daily Radium, then back to 3 months of Chemo. This was in 1994 and in Germany.

If it is correct that your dad's has not spread to any other organs, there is much hope for a complete cure. Flowers

honeybeeridiculous · 27/06/2014 21:28

I've also heard that the more aggressive cancer reacts better to chemo, so maybe there is more hope than 1st thought, especially if it hasn't spread.
And FFS how can they not fit him in if he was due to start today??! I would have gone apeshit at that!! Angry

KatyMac · 27/06/2014 21:53

Apeshit was pretty much his reaction

KatyMac · 27/06/2014 22:13

Rang MacMillan to ask about "Managing my expectations" & they didn't understand what I meant

Should we just assume they will continue to mislead & lie to us?

You have an appointment - you don't
You will start treatment - you won't
You have 3 months or so to live - you have a year
It grows very fast every day counts - but we can delay a week

KatyMac · 29/06/2014 12:10

So pissed off with the hospital & sad

KatyMac · 01/07/2014 22:37

First session of chemo today

I've arranged some counselling for me & DD

onlyjoking9329 · 02/07/2014 04:15

How did the first chemo go?
What's the treatment plan? Not surprised you're fed up and sad. Counselling can only ever be a good thing, Macmillan have a phone in line.
They have some forums I found them to be very useful.
Make sure and get some talking/listening support for yourself.
Were hear to hold your hands.

KatyMac · 02/07/2014 07:36

It was a sort of 'non-event' really - I guess it will hit at some point; his next one is in three weeks, then an Xray & a consultation, then another 2 followed by a scan. If it's shrunk they'll do another 2 & if it stays shrunk they will do radiotherapy on his head to catch secondaries - I think it's the secondaries in his head that will kill him or his windpipe being obstructed so he can't breathe. I told him off for having the pneumonia jab, as that might have been an easier way to go.......

He has loads of drugs to take, steroids, anti nausea, more chemo & anti-biotics in a week or so

He's having his hair shaved on Friday - he says he doesn't want to look like Mr Tufty! & that my mum has enough to do hoovering up cat hairs, she can't deal with him shedding too!

DD is very against the counselling; she hated it last time! But I need it - you know how I like to talk

Thank you