More Terrible Back Stories

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Acute, chronic, agony or niggles, we are strictly non competitive. All newcomers very welcome. (Though be warned, the language can be a little 'ripe' ).

Here are our previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

So come and join us for moans, advice, downright rants or just a laugh.

Awww pavlov how lovely. Your dd could be a future nurse, kind but matter of fact about the yukky stuff.

matilda so unfair if you want a new TV series to watch while resting my dh recommends The Vikings, his new favourite. Another you might like is Broadwalk Empire 1930s gangster thing.

Hope your day tomorrow gives you some time to rest matilda it's really shite that we can't do more than a fraction of what people often do, without huge payback I wonder how much of it was the flying around to get on your walk? I find that when i rush about, that's often when I get huge increases in pain, as I guess I am less careful about how I move. I hate having to be so guarded with everything I do. positive pain reducing vibes.

I hope the vomit monster stays away. DD was sick last week, but it seems a long time after for it to be the same bug. Although, perhaps it's a virus that can cause sickness, rather than a stomach bug, as DD was sick thurs night/fri morning and then was under the weather all weekend (fell asleep in the cinema, in the morning showing, a girl who is always on the go, never sleeps in the day, the girl who dropped had naps by 2yrs old and even before then only ever slept no more than 1 hour).

I think I might have to go get my DD and bring her to my bed. She said she didn't want to sleep downstairs alone (she is on the floor below us). She was fine going to bed though as she prefers to wiggle about and DS will just end up kicking her. but, as I started taking her downstairs, I looked at DS all snuggled into DHs side of the bed, and saw two pillows spare next to him. I asked her if she wanted to stay up here after all and she said no. As she went snuggled down she asked if she could come up if she changed her mind, yes! I said.

I am now here, in bed, thinking of her downstairs and I miss her! I think she is going to end up with me too. DH thinks I am soft with them, and perhaps I am, and sometimes I don't want them in my bed (and I am sure in a couple of hours I will regret it) but tonight, I want my babies with me. DH is out late tonight and he won't sleep well with a sick boy in with us so agreed to sleep downstairs. So ^technically, there is space for a little one.

Shit, I feel a bit tearful about it!

Aw it is nice to snuggle up together in the big bed. My dog sleeps on my bed so i always get a cuddle with her even if dh is working nights. As long as your dd can get to sleep alone it is fine.
Did you get her in the end?

Oh yes Pavlov, get her to snuggle with too, they end up big and independent so quickly. I measured DS1 yesterday and he's 5'9 and a half. I remember my baby snuggled in my arms like it was yesterday, last time he was sad I could barely manage to cuddle him, her certainly doesn't fit in my lap anymore. If I could go back in time I would stop thinking all that 'rod for your own back' nonsense and do a lot more cuddling in my bed. Starting to worry about him as well because he has started to go deaf like me, at the same age, I just hope hope hope he doesn't have a hereditary crap back to go with it.

It's a bloody good job DS is in with me, as he didn't wake up, and was vomiting on his back. He was tossing and turning, then with no warning, was sick in his sleep DD has never done that. He barely woke up to be sick, with me holding him over the sick bowl (he got me again as I lifted him from sleeping) and as soon as he was finished he looked at me with glassy sleepy eyes, refused a drink and went back to sleep while I was still cleaning sick off him.

So, another load of washing on but I did manage to change the bedsheets with him still on the bed, as taught to me by my nurse friend! Luckily, I was prepared and had a towel underneath him, but not that prepared as otherwise it would have been on top not underneath the bed sheet (I didn't want him to be all bumpy!) he missed the duvet and pillow thankfully as I got to him quickly. Poor thing.

Oh the glam lives we lead.

I so agree losty about ignoring making a rod for your own back, DH is so strict and gets annoyed that I let them come and snuggle with me when he goes out, or doesn't often enjoy the children coming in for morning cuddles and I just don't get it. I guess it's that DH misses the time with me, and a little that I get a lot from the children that maybe I used to get from him? I don't see it as 'instead of', more 'as well as' but I think with the whole back issue, he does sometimes think it is instead of but its not about choosing, either or, their needs are different to his and I don't get why he doesn't roll with it, he will get me completely to himself again (older and more wrinkly!). If he gave them the same time he would get it from them too as much as I do (he gives them plenty of time, but not snuggling like I do). But, I guess that's the difference between mothers and fathers. I am just not into the whole 'tough love' stuff, I don't think sharing beds from time to time (more often than that even) is going to do them harm emotionally or sleep wise in the long term. But then, I don't feel that the children are meant to be in a different room to me and I would happily have them in the same room (different bed). For a while, DH almost agreed as DS didn't sleep in his bed at all we almost did it, but then he changed his mind again and went back to thinking they should be in different rooms.

Luckily though, this time, DD was asleep when I went to see if she wanted to come up, so I just tucked her back in, kissed her, told her I love her. Good job as it would have woken her up.

It must be strange comforting a grown child bigger than you (unless you are over 5'9"? you might be?!), I am going to miss lap cuddles. Is his deafness inherited? Is he likely to lose more as he grows older? How does he feel about that? Was he aware that could happen? Sorry, nosey questions!

I am sadly only about 5'5" on a good day, when I was younger but we will ignore the fact that I've probably shrunk since then . It's horrible when he is sad, I have to sit next to him and attempt to cuddle as much of him as I can! The flip side is he give me the most awesome cuddles and he's a very huggy boy so that is lovely,y . I was hoping he wouldn't go deaf, I was told it was a hereditary condition but one that was more likely to affect the female line. Sadly it is progressive and there is nothing that can be done to stop that at the moment but it's only now that I am almost completely deaf and I do well with hearing aids and lip reading. He seems to be fine about it though, he's a very chilled out child unlike the other two buggers. My biggest worry is that my back started to be painful at the same time and although the professionals tell me the two things are unrelated I am a bit skeptical myself.

Anyway, morning everyone, hope you all had good nights, it's a beautiful morning here in Wales.

Sorry and I meant to say poor DS and poor you. They seem to get bugs all the time when they are small, it does get less frequent, promise.

lost have you the option of cochlear implant? Is that something you would consider if it were an option? Do you have enough hearing to not go down that route? My MIL has been partially deaf for most of her life, following what she says was a childhood illness but we don't really know for sure (she is in a bubble of her own for a whole heap of other reasons). By the time I knew her she listened through lipreading and guesswork, and a lot of relying on others mostly, having never picked up sign (no idea why, possibly refusal to accept she was deaf). She lost the hearing in one ear completely a few years ago and had the cochlear implant and it has made a huge difference but took a while to relearn sounds. I recall BIL and DH being a bit (very) rude about her cooking while in the same room as her, something they could normally do when she couldn't hear and she heard every word!

Fingers crossed the back condition isn't linked to the hearing loss. He sounds like a gem though, I so hope my two hug me when they are older, I remind them all the time that they must always hug their mamma!

DS and I had a rotten night. His tummy hurt a lot but he wasn't sick again, but tossed and turned and I hardly slept as I was worried he would be sick in his sleep again. He woke at 5am or so and drank some squash (hope that doesn't come up again, it's ribena ) and he is eating some bread and butter (lazy as I am exhausted and hurting so made a coffee, snuck back to bed). DH is still dozing on the sofa following his own tough night of hanging out with his mates.

I fucking hurt. I don't want to take any meds. Stubborn not!

Beautiful weather here too, the sun is pouring through the skylight, not a cloud in the sky and I feel a bit bad for still being in bed. But I have some money to spend today to transform our kitchen from being a scrapheap to being a slightly more organised scrapheap. It involves going to shops though as well as some lovely ikea shopping, which other than shoe shopping is probably my favourite online shop

Hope you are ok today. And everyone else too.

and you say only 5'5'' losty, that is tall I am 5'3" and a diddly (as a nurse once put it) although I suspect I have lost that 'diddly' bit now

I am short too just 5' my dd age 9 is nearly as tall as me already, she takes after her dad and is tall and slim, lucky thing, well so far anyway. But we still manage to snuggle up, anyway with boys they seem to like having a little Mum who is smaller than them, when they get to the teenage years, just be sure to train them to do all the heavy lifting for you.

I'm only 5'2.5". Never forget the half inch! My boys are both an easy 6'. Must have fed them plenty of fish fingers an excellent diet.

Yes, it's very sad when they grow up beyond the snuggling stage though I do have the benefit of not having to run around after my two much anymore.

Been fighting the computing equipment with not much success. Whoever knew it would be so stupidly difficult to print pics taken on my phone? The machine at asda that makes it easy is, guess what, broken. Will be using my camera in future if I need prints. ( need the evidence from the damage caused by my charmless last tenant, have to claim back the deposit. Boring).

Having a gentle swim then nails. Will need to stand throughout nails but they need doing as you all know!

Matilda if you email them to me I can get them printed and posted to you through one of the online photo companies? My specialist subject is arising around on the computer. If you have an iPhone it should be very easy but not impossible from most types. I think I'm going to end up with a couple of 6 footers and one not quite (DS2 just never been very big, super fit though) I am sadly quite excited by the prospect of being dwarfed by three giant ginger men who call me mum .

Well my maths is posted, not perfect by long way but I'm behind so better to spend my time on the stuff I should be doing. Cochlear implants are hard to come by on the NHS, rightly so really, there's no going back because they damage your hearing doing them so once it's done it had better work. Plus it's an approximation of hearing, nothing like the real thing. Hearing aids are bad enough but I think the implant is even worse. Got lots more options on hearing aids to go through yet, I just think I'll have to splurge on some spares so I don't have days like these where I am cut off from the real world.

Pavlov I don't know how you can possibly feel guilty, you did the night shift whilst DH had fun. Make the most of coffee in bed, it's my most favourite thing.

losty, thankyou that's so kind. Fortunately ds2 and his gf came over and managed to do it very easily. All my skills are self taught so not very good. Must practice, though.

Lying on bed with tea and choc biscuits. Had nice day of swim, nails then ds visit. Pooped now so will mn a bit then get on with a little BB.

Oddly the reason for ds visit was to go to the GP because he has bad pain in coccyx for some time. It's not great for studying and has finals looming. Doc just handed over meds of course. Anyone know if the cushions are any good?

Does anyone know if co codamol has a cumulative effect? I'm still in awful pain after having two lots

There's 30mg codeine, 500mg paracetemol in each tablet, had 4 tablets today so far.

I'm quite spaced out though and have attempted to read this thread about 3 times today but keep dropping out.

Anyone know how long they take to take effect?

Can't believe there is a whole thread for this . I have constant pain mainly in my back but all of my joints really . I see a chiropractor regularly but it's still there. I rode alot when younger and had many falls do it's my own fault but I have never met anyone else with chronic pain. I don't Medicate as I feel it's a slippery slope . I also have a 2 year old who has gdd so can't walk which really doesn't help the situation.

laurie hello!! I think it does yes but not sure if it's as cumulative as anti inflammatories. Are you taking any of those, ibruprofen, naproxen (I've typed that so many times, my iPad autocorrects my continued misspelling! ), diclofenac? Maybe you can't take them, as some people are not able to due to other health issues, stomach problems, but if you are able to take them, they are fab for helping with back pain (and other pain where there might be inflammation), they build up and are best taken regularly for chronic pain because of the cumulative effect, rather than as and when needed, so does paracetamol, and so I would think Codiene does too.

bishbash welcome! It's probably time to forget your fears of a 'slippery slope' of painkillers, and take some help. You will read that someof us here have ups and downs with meds, and anxieties about takin them, fears of building tolerances, addictions, fears of being a 'failure' for giving in to drugs, and the lowest doses are definitely best. But, there is not doubt. When there is pain, some form of pain relief is needed, there is no point being a martyr. you can take some good painkillers and they tare not going to find you taking morphine before you know it, that's a myth. If you end up taking a morphine based drug, it will only because that is the level of pain you are at and that's what you need to function without the horrendousness of high level chronic pain. There are one or two people here of that level of pain relief and that decision is never entered into lightly.

For example an excellent base medicine for back pain, neither of which is addictive is paracetamol and an anti inflammatory such as ibuprofen, both of which are available over the counter. Actually, those two meds together work better than individually, they work in symbiosis (sp). If you have joint pain generally, then you really do need an anti inflammAtory if you have no medical issues to prevent you, as mentioned above. And there is no harm in adding any Codiene based meds to that for those days when you just need some more pain relief, and you can get very low doses without fear of addiction, (unless you have had an opiate addiction, then avoid).

Also, heat, ice work wel, we are huge advocates of heat pads, patches, hotties on here! (As well as virtual wine, cake, boots, bags, online shopping...)

Have youspoken to your GP about the joint pain? There are some inflammatory conditions that can affect joints, and cause back pain so might be worth mentioning if not already done.

I apologise for my preachiness but I am notorious for kicking in my drugs and refusing to take them, but I know that actually, if I don't, I simply can't function do well. I have been taking opiate based meds for about 2 years on and off and I can stop, start fine increase or decrease my doses, sometimes I don't take them at all, the one med I can't do without is my anti inflammatory, that's the one that without it, I am doubled over with muscle spasms. So, I am coming from a point of understanding, and now I have acceptance that medical advancements mean I have not yet lost my job and can be a reasonable mother most of the time.

laurie, hello and sorry to hear you are in such pain. Can you elaborate a bit? I'm guessing this is a new episode of pain and you've been given cocodamol? Well, it's quite strong but if your back is in spasm it won't be enough. Firstly call for a hot water bottle, seriously, almost all of us here live by our heat sources! Secondly, meds. Often an antinflammatory such as naproxen is added in and if spasm is persisting diazepam. Some gps are reluctant to prescribe it but for sudden onset acute pain you might well need it. Tramadol is sometimes used, too but instead of or alongside cocodamol ( with caution). Some of us are on nerve meds, too but hopefully that's not what you need.

So, if you are in agony (doped up isn't the same as pain free/ lowered) call the dr back now and insist on a prescription tonight. My first prescription was cocodamol, naproxen and diazepam. I took them all.

Bish, welcome, yes and not just one thread! we are a chatty lot. Feel free to join us. We vary from episodes of acute agony to minor niggles. Some here have recovered some of us manage chronic injuries. We all love exchanging experiences but also chat about other things. Mainly it's amazing to talk to people who 'get it'. Not many do in RL.

Cross posted with my very good friend pavlov. She knows.

bish if you are seriously anti meds I have been told that Turmeric is extremely effective as an anti inflammatory but haven't tried it. You can get supplements.

My mil talks about the 'Slippery Slope' if offered a single paracetamol. She's 84!

I was about to post that I had Copts with matilda who is absolutely right oh how very polite of us!

The absolute minimum you need in your box of pain relief is a heat pad of some kind, a bed, and an iPad/laptop at hand. It's amazing how much talking to others who know what it's like helps to cope, especially when lying flat.

I have tentatively been using turmeric actually matilda, in fact, I have had some at the weekend! and end of the week, do you reckon it's why I had some good days ?

We are having semi home made pizza (margarita base from lidl, with our choice of toppings and more cheese). The children's pizzas are ready and mine is not even made yet. I am so hungry I might eat theirs if so they don't hurry up, they smell lovely!

I've done too much. I cleaned a bit of the yard, and the kitchen (we are drowning in clutter). Didn't go nuts, but still too much. I hurt. But, I also feel good that I have actually been useful today. I also bought some wicker storage for our hallway junk, so the hallway is clearer. A big bugbear of mine is bags, shoes, stuff left in the hallway toys on the floor as I trip up them and it makes me angry, tearful, irrationally so if I trip over as even if I don jar my back I get scared I have done damage. And about this evening about to buy some things to get our kitchen more organised. It's falling apart and we are not yet able to get it gutted and a new one in, so need to fix it up. I literally cannot cook in it at the moment as there is too much lifting, moving, standing on chairs etc to reach items and it hurts. This means I will be able to help more with dinner sometimes.

So spending money online in ikea is going to make me happy! Woohoo!

Thanks all.. I'm not anti meds per se . I jut have lived with it so long I don't really question it. I have a horsey friend who lives on tramadol so I suppose it does worry me a bit that once I start I will need stronger and stronger drugs . And also I know I can fix my back to a certain extent by not carrying my son ( unavoidable as he can't walk ) and being lighter but in order to do that I have to exercise which bloody hurts . My chiropractor says I have to go through the pain but it's hard . Mornings are bad as are nights when I regularly get stuck. A lot
Of my friends think I'm nuts when I can't get up! I have been meaning to get some vitamins for joints but haven't got round to it yet . Any recommendations ?

I have just been passed pizza with my fave toppings put on by dd. and a real glass of Real Life Wine! Pinot noir, so medicinal due to it's anti inflammatory properties.

Turmeric as above plus fish oils which seem to have some scientific proof. Things like glucosamine are popular but less proven. If mornings and evenings tricky try anti inflammatories? But best discuss with GP to check if bloods etc are recommended.

Tbh I'd be asking if the chiro is helping. Working through the pain isn't something I'd be doing. If this has been ongoing and chiro hasn't helped get to the GP and ask for investigation ie an MRI.

It's very hard. Every prof will have a different opinion only you know how bad it is and what helps. A young fit woman should ideally looking for total recovery not just a bit better. Not always achievable but a good aim.

Re your ds, and sorry I'm sure you are the expert here, are there any specialist aids you can get to help you with moving and carrying him? I used to do volunteering with this age group disabled toddlers and know how exhausting they are even when you are fully fit.

pavlov, enjoy!

May have a medicinal glass later.

Yesterday I earned my keep by taking our small change pot to Asda to the Money Machine. I love doing it! £26.11 in 1,2 and 5 pences. Not bad. Have another pot upstairs

Found this

www.webmd.boots.com/healthy-eating/features/health-benefits-turmeric

Quite interesting. Improves memory...oh boy do I need that! Will check with pharmacist, though due to number of current meds.