**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

[BetsyBoop]

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

I think pre menopausal ladies always get offered tamoxifen as it is so very effective but I think position may be different for post ladies.

Apparently it is going to be 18 degrees at the weekend so time to plan how to enjoy the weather even if it is just sitting in the garden/on a balcony/in the shade with a nice cup of tea.

Glad to hear about the bright hair, Malt! As mine falls out in handfuls, I just can't get over how grey it is. The first hairs that dare to grow back are going to be dyed so cheerfully bright that no one will know what's hit them.

I'm pretty ignorant about the hormonal treatments, worried, but I thought it was the other way round: that tamoxifen is very often used post menopausally, but that if you are a bit younger, other versions are possible as it tends to trip the menopause. I've been told that I will "probably" get tamoxifen, but nothing fixed yet. My mum gets tamoxifen and has had no problems with it at all- I also think it's meant to have fewer side effects if you are older.

Day 7 post FEC2 and almost back to life. Emend definitely stopped me being so sick (hooray!), but it still took me a few days to crawl out of bed. But at least I can now enjoy the sun...

Glad you're starting to feel more human again Wren.

Malt jealous that you have enough hair to dye .

I think the same as Malt - that it is Tamoxifen for all pre-menopausal ladies (if possible) but that there are a variety of alternatives for post-menopausal. I also think that you could start on Tamoxifen and move to a post-menopausal type later on (as you get older).

Handbags and Malt - I don't think I've had any side effcts to date (been nearly 2 month) as I already had the hot flushes due to chemo and to be honest I think they are reducing. Nothing else to report (and keeping fingers crossed that continues).

Finally got my wig today and just in time as my hair is coming out in handfuls. Looks like it will have to come off at the weekend but not sure how short?

Had an accident in the wig shop, a lady knocked a shelf and a display piece fell off and hit my face, so I'm now supporting a cut across my nose.

Now feeling very sorry for myself :(

Worried I am post menopausal and was put onto Letrozole. I've had to go on to oral chemo so am no longer taking it. Letrozole gave me bone ache and I was much more tired than I am on the oral chemo.

Guess will find out tomorrow - I can find no literature to confirm why some post menopausal ladies get put on tamoxifen first and some don't. Sure the doctor will know.

Waves hello to everyone.

KitKat - Glad that you are enjoying being back and work and it is fabulous to hear that you have the energy for the gym too.

Grrr - that your Doctor is being a bit useless with regards to your diabetes, have they explained why they want to wait three months before testing? It is a good job that you have your friend who can give professional advice.

There does seem to be a few of us on the Taxol suddenly, doesn't there? My Oncologist said that Paclitaxel is popular in the US, whereas on the Continent they prefer to prescribe Docetaxel.

I haven't had the tamoxifen discussion yet. I was pre menopausal before chemo.

mummy hope your wig is ok. I went for a number 2 cut when my hair started falling out. I quite like it! Didn't shave it all off as a bit of hair helps anchor scarves and wigs.

Got results of snb and I have to have another op to clear all lymph nodes. Was seriously pissed off but resigned to it now.

evening everyone. had my psych assessment today for my bmx - think i passed so my date is Saturday after next.
Those drains are huge (not like the pictures i've seen online of little delicate bulbs you can clip to your waistband). How do you sleep? BCN was saying the 4 drains need to reach to the side of the floor and i'll be propped up on pillows....does DH need to sleep in my DS's bottom bunk?
Hope pickle's doing ok and got to see her DS (sorry if i've missed) and everyone else too of course.

ha Harriet - I only had 1 drain but I did send DH in to sleep with DS (he has a double bed) so my drains were safe. And yes you do sleep on your back propped up .

Tiny - when I was reading up on Paclitaxel I saw that it is much more popular in the US (did some research as no-one else I knew was getting it). It is not NICE approved for early stage BC so can't be given as a first choice in the UK - assume you can have it if there is a reason. (It is approved for later stage BC and ovarian cancer). As far as I can see the reasons for this are financial rather than due to effectiveness. Anyway I was private so assume I had more options and some of you guys have had problems so guess that's why you can move on to it.

Mummy wheel what's your wig like did you go for the same style as your hair ? What a nightmare having an accident in the shop bless you

Love to you foo foo

Wondering how pickle is too

I only had 1 drain but it was hard to sleep with I must admit

Kitkat have e mailed my head tonight about going back to work eek!

Night all x

harriett I had bmx but they didn't make me do psyche test. .... Just as well as they would ave found out I was truly mad.

I had 4 drains .... You get used to them. I started off in DS single bed so I could put them either side, but after a couple of nights moved back to my own bed. You can put the tubes over your body so they are all on the same side on the floor.

Foo foo doesn't look like you had a good nights sleep hope you're ok. Here if you want to talk

Any news from pickle?

No, hope you're ok pickle
How are you doing today wren ?

3 rads left for me I'm on countdown now !

Hi everyone. Have been having a very up and down time but feel better today. Yesterday was my third week admission anniversary and today is my two week arse ache anniversary. Looks as if I'm here a minimum 10/20 days more and my arse won't improve until my neutrophils do. At the moment they are zero and have been for at least the last 10 days.

Looks like I've just got to accept it and get on with it. Ds visited on Sunday which was lovely. He's supposed to dons solo at a school concert next week which he's refused to do as I won't be there. Usually he doesn't mind me missing things like that (I travel for work so try to make as much as I can but sometimes his grandma has to go instead). I'll also miss parents' evening. I'm now hoping I'll be out before he finishes for Easter hols (3 weeks' time).

Lying here with window wide open. If heatwave appears at the weekend I will be forced into just wearing my underwear! I can't believe that this amount of heating is healthy.

Oh pickle I shall never moan again reading that. The thought of 5-6 weeks in hospital is grim. But I suppose when there is nothing you can do about the situation, and you absolutely have to do it, then acceptance is the way to go.

I couldn't do parents eve but my sons teacher will see me next week instead.

malt I'm fine thanks .... Just the old insomnia, just settling down fr a nice snooze on the sofa

KitKat - You are bang on the money that is for financial reasons. In the US Doctor's are paid by the insurance companies per visit. So there is more of a financial incentive for a patient to have 12 Taxol sessions instead of 4 Docetaxel. Equally it would cost the NHS more to administer 12 rounds instead of 4. I am a private patient and there wasn't much between the costings of the two drugs themselves.

Hope you are alright Mummy. I had my hair cut into a short crop just before I started chemo. About 10 weeks into chemo my crop was patchy on the crown, so I had it shaved off, as short as it would go. It is a big step and my OH wouldn't let our DS seem him do it. When my DS saw me for the first time he said, 'Mummy, where's your hair?' and I said that Mummy wanted a new hair style and asked if he liked it and he said 'Yes'! Bless, he was only 2 at the time.

Glad your DS visited you Pickle, must have cheered you up considerably. I can see your letchy cleaner asking for extra shifts, if you you starting sitting around in your underwear!

Hope everyone else is doing well, the chemo is starting to take it's toll on me, either that or I have caught DS's cold. I remember Betsy saying it was harder to bounce back after each Tax session.

Pickle, your poor arse and your poor everything else. Those neutrophils need to re-boot, dammit. Can't blame your ds for striking over the solo; he's coping with a lot and best he should set his boundaries on the things he can control. Tough for you both.

I'm on the up and enjoying the sunshine. I made it to dd's parents' evening, which made me feel part of things, though I was a bit wobbly. I went with my own hair (short, bit thin, but fine), washed my hair on my return and off it went, wholesale. So today is all about trying out new headgear. The children seem mightily amused and have had some creative suggestions (none of them practical. Mitre, anyone?).

With your advice foofoo I'm now supporting a very grey no 2 cut! Alfie our cocker spaniel is now giving me very strange looks, poor thing I think he is traumatised. Top of my head feels very tender to touch. Did anyone else experience this? I'm wondering if I managed a hit to the head as well as my nose yesterday. Malt My wig is almost identical to my own (before the grey) hair colour, but a much shorter choppy type bob. I'm amazed at how realistic it actually looks.

good to hear positive progress stories. Wren, it's fab that you made it to parents' evening.

difficultpickle, I hope the next couple of weeks bring a big turnaround for you and your poor arse.

I am feeling scared tonight. 2 weeks to wait until surgery. The affected breast aches, which it didn't before, and the other one is tingling. I am afraid it is spreading, and I am so tired, probably from anxiety (also DD had a minor accident at school and was whisked to A&E in ambulance - all fine after a check). Ever since my pre-op assessment I have been paranoid because she asked me if I have a cough, and I have been coughing continually since then. Please can the treatment start RIGHT NOW.

I haven't read beyond page 20 so sorry for not being up to date. Sorry to hear Feline and pickle are having difficulties. And of course condolences and sympathy to Figgy's family. Welcome too to the newconmers.

So I was due to start chemo on 18 Feb, but it was pushed back a couple of weeks because my bilirubin was high and they wanted to check my liver. Liver turned out to be fine. And the last two weeks have been quite stressful as I was geared up for it and then let down.

Finally had my first session yesterday. It went by quite quickly. I tried the cold cap, but could only manage 45 mins - it was all I could think about and was sooo cold. Was sick like buggery last night though! I couldn't keep anything down, including the anti-sickness meds and water. After the fourth episode I rang the hospital and was told to stay at home unless the sickness kept me awake at night. Was last sick around midnight and then slept.

Felt weak and tired this morning, but have been able to eat and drink fairly normally. Not feeling great this eve, but certainly ok. Hoping this is the worst of it...we'll see...

In good news today was my birthday and it turned out to be quite a nice day. The jewellery I ordered Sunday night arrived so I now have nice things to wear for when my hair falls out. Friends have also been v kind with cards and presents.

traviata, pre op I drove myself nuts worrying about the lump being painful/ spreading. It's really really normal to do so. If you had a biopsy (sorry, can't remember everything you've had) the breast will be bruised and tender. You're anxious, of course you are, and you've had to deal with the emotional anxiety of your daughter going to A&E. Do give your BCN a call; she will be supportive.

mummywheel, the tender scalp seems to be part of the jolly old hair falling out deal - as you say, just like you've bruised it (all over). Mine's feeling a bit better now (but it's not a good look; roll on completely bald...).