Smoking while Pregnant... (!!)

[Lornatoo]

Hi Guys. Normally a lurker, wondering if anybody is out there....?
My friend (honest!)is 28 weeks pregnant with her 3rd. She's really worried about her small bump. Measured at 26 weeks with the MW. She also feels really small in comparison with the previous two. She smokes heavily, is not without common sence and is REALLY worried about her unborn baby.
Now, do I NEED to point out the obvious? is it necessary? Any other somkers out there? I just don't know if I should 'put the boot in' when I'm sure she knows the answer.......?

Hi Lornatoo,

Smoking during pregnancy is wrong all smokers know it but it's hard to quit...I didn't smoke during both my pregnancies...I couldn't stand the smell or taste made me sick to my stomach which helped, but I would have given up anyway because that's what's best for my child.

My mother smoked all the way through with my pregnancy during the 70's(which she regrets) ...didn't know any different...she didn't with my sisters I did have a low-birth weight but on saying that I am the tallest(5ft 6') and the smartest and I wasn't really affected in any major way tbh(apart from sinus problems when I was younger)and what's done is done.

I don't think that stressing your friend out by putting the boot in will help(stress affects your baby too)No matter what others say it is her body that's why she could have aborted her baby if she chose to...

some of the comments made although valid do not help you or your friend, thinking she's a bad mother is not supportive and being sympathetic does not mean you approve.

you could try asking her about her stress and if she thinks she smokes more because of it...even discussing it may make her think...smoking causes low-birth weight so even cutting down will help...perhaps you could suggest she cut down to specific times of the day...1 in the morning 1 at lunch 1 when kids are in bed etc
she may feel that cutting down may not help at this stage in her pregnancy ...but every cigarette counts... tell her you will support her and what she's doing is the best for her baby..Yes this does sound a bit yay! but you can find your own way to express this...you have nothing to lose and this is real life if it works you will be helping a friend and her child...you're a good friend and not saying anything is obviously affecting you...so say something...you never know.Goodluck x

my sister smoked through both her pregnancies and carried on smoking (still is infact) both her kids had asthma and it was bloody awful seeing a 3 and 5yr old taking inhalers through those mask things then my sister would go sit down and have another cigarrette and fill the room with smoke and they would end up cough cough coughing, was the asthma connected to her smoking whilst pregnant i think so (tho someone is bound to correct me i would imagine) i smoked from 16 up until 32yrs old so i would say i was definitely addicated to the nicotine but i gave up and it can be done. I hate to say it but if she was really worried as you said about her small bump and the baby she would stop straight away

i find this thread utterly bizarre actually. How a thread can be so contentious, when the answer to the OP's question should be as obvious as the answer to 'Should i drink a bottle of wine every day whilst pregnant?' or 'Should i go hang gliding whilst pregnant?' It is nothing to do with being a good or bad mother. It is to do with protecting your child from potentially serious and life long damage. There are no benefits from smoking for mother or baby. Smoking does not make you feel calmer. It is a stimulant. If you wouldn't blow smoke in your little baby's face repeatedly, then don't smoke while pregnant. It is very, very simple.

cataloguequeen has put it very nicely, can we leave it at that now!

courtney88, no offence, yeh, but I never said anyone had said that...

sorry, i know the OP's question wasn't 'should someone smoke whilst pregnant' but the thread kind of morphed into that argument...

"Trying to justify smoking while pregnant by pointing out that people drive cars or feed their babies from jars just make you look even more stupid than you already do standing there with your ciggie and big tummy."

Fairymum, why is this stupid? They are all harmful. None of them are really justifiable. But it's smokers that get singled out for abuse every time. And do you really have to be so patronising?

hunker, well what do you call the opposite of bad eh??

yep, i blame the mothercare catalogue.

Hey Ruty!! keep catalogues out of this discussion!!

i understand that everyone should make their own decisions, but how could you do it to your own child?
thats the part i dont understand.
having kids means sacrificing things no?

On a slightly different note (am at work and sadly don't have time to read all the posts !), someone had put that it can't be abuse because it's not illegal. I train child protection and can tell you that there are TONS of things that are classed as abusive which are perfectly legal (shouting at a child; belittling a child; bribing a child; sending a child to bed without dinner......). So does that mean smoking whilst pregnant isn't abusive....?

Courtney, your point that these things (m/c, low birthweight, birth defects, etc) can all happen to women who do not smoke is, I think, a valid one. There are lots of risk factors for all of these, and something just plain bad luck is the actual cause. But you then say "all them defects are caused by many other things and could not be proven to be just related to smoking!!!" And here, I'm afraid, you're on stickier ground, although, you are in 'good' company - this is an argument that the tobacco lobby was able to successfully use for many, many years, causation being so tricky to prove. But informed medical opinion has it that smoking does in fact increase the risks to an unborn child - whether it's the mother or father who smokes while mum is pregnant. Further, any doctor will tell you that the single most helpful thing you can do to improve the chances of your baby not ending up dead or ill, is to give up smoking.

FWIW, I thought that the OP's friend is well aware of her untenable position re: smoking and this is why she has voiced her concerns about the bump size to the OP. Perhaps she wants the OP to mention smoking so that she can defend her position - if she can convince her friend, then she can convince herself? Or maybe she just wants a push in the right direction, in which case an offer of help & support would be the best way to deal.

Squishy- in that case they must sit pretty far down the scale if they are illegal..

severe child abuse and what you mentioned is very different.

corriedale- ok i can see when your coming from. In the end of the day it's one of these things that will be debated over and over. My friend had a baby boy around 6 weeks ago he was very small and had to be kept in he is in great health now, the mother did not smoke but i take it if she did then thats what automatically would have caused it.

aaaaaarrgh.

Wow, didn't think there could be so much disagreement on a 'smoking while pregnant' thread, and sooo bitchy too. It's great entertainment.

actually courtney there were some women who took thalidomide whilst pregnant who had children with normal limbs. Doesn't mean thalidomide is safe in pregnancy funnily enough.

Sorry to have lost track of who it was, but the post about the aunt who is smoking after conceiving by IVF has almost made me want to cry. Just unbelievable.

doesn't make it a first class risk either then?

doesn't make thalidomide a first class risk?

smoking!!! is that not what this is about. you just cannot compare fags to thalidomide!!

but one can compare smoking to driving a car? Hmmm.