Hysterectomies - it's gotta be done but over here for hand holding part two

[Oddsocksrus]

Over here for the hand holding.
One in five women in the uk will have to have a hysterectomy at some point in their lives.
Come and join us if you are waiting, pre op, bleery eyed on the ward or recovering afterwards.

I only get 10 to 4 for this week, back to normal after.

DH has agreed that maybe I can retire at 62 instead of 67 though so only ten years to go....

I have made my first step. I have a gp appointment next Monday. Eek

Hi all

Im due to have a total hysterectomy and some surgery on my bowel on 7 feb! I have been ignoring it until I have got christmas out of the way but now reality is setting in and I'm very nervous. Ive had other surgeries but think the older I'm getting the more the dangers seem real. Im 35!

hope you can help me through this!

Dyzz. 35 is youthful. Seriously it really is! Imagine being 20... That's the difference between you and some of us. I think waiting for the surgery is hard.

gingeme I hope you get a good response from your Dr

Shew how are you now?

another don't do too much. All of you with young children and babies I really hope you've got help

Work I'd avoid if I could but it has to be faced at some point so I'm tiptoeing in. The Friday meeting is just in the wrong place. Someone else is driving there now so I might chat or sleep and arrive covered in dribble

Storms and a power cut here. (On iPad and battery). Modems just gone down then up however!!

How's your wounds today Ledkr?

hello dyzzidi, welcome.

I think probably you will get more grief from your bowel surgery than from the hysterectomy itself. Bowels seem to be the problem all round (my username for this thread is named after Kevin the Teenager Bowel). I needed very little pain relief- only paracetamol and a bit of diclofenac- but the trapped wind was unwelcome.

Are you having keyhole or open surgery?

You are nearly 20 years younger than i am, the surgeons will enjoy the change from ancient heaps like me ;)

Invest in comfy clothes (not trousers) and plenty of managing people's expectations of what you will do. And I would ask a lot about what to expect afterwards in terms of bleeding and pain, so you don't get what poor ledkr had, a lot of worry which turned out to be fine.

Gingeme, well done! i'd push for a keyhole expert if I were you. Keyhole is the business when it comes to recovery.

Feeling a bit better again today thanks, it really is a day by day thing isn't it?
I felt very cross this morning as dh woke dd1 up at 7.30 then proceeded to get back into bed!
He had dd2 to get to nursery with a packed lunch and himself to get to work.
He eventually moved when dd2 cried then I heard them leave at 8.30.
Normal day for me, drop off dd1 as weather was awful straight to nursery for 8.45 then to work for 9.
Imagine my annoyance then when he returned with dd2 who wasn't ready for nursery who he then dressed in a dirty dress and hadn't brushed her hair when I went down.
He eventually left at 9.20' I'm bloody fuming, dd2 has been a little sad with everything going on and I feel she needs stability and getting to nursery late isn't great for her.
So I shouted "that's my sick leave over,all back to fucking normal now" as he stormed off.
He tried to blame being late on dropping dd1 off, nothing to do with getting back into bed no siree.
He's got tomorrow off but I see no point really, I may as we'll resume duties.

Poor you ledkr I think we have all had crappy dh/ dp moments - generally when the novelty of them being knight In Shining armour wears off and the reality of running the house comes in....(and they then realise how much we do) sympathies and just focus on resting and giving school lots of hugs this pm

Thanks king that's so true about being the hero wearing off. Dh is great but can be a lazy so and so sometimes too.
He's not even text or rung today so he's obviously still in the right in his head!

Oh no Ledkr, that is not good and please do not resume normal duties too soon. Sit him down and write a list of all duties and timings he has to do, be the manager. My DH had a steep learning curve when I went into hospital 2 months ago, but he managed because it was sink or swim. I did have to write lists to prompt him though and now 2 weeks after my surgery I help out by setting out outfits, supervising dd1 dressing herself or doing their hair.

Welcome dyzzidi, youth is on your side. I am only 33. The gynaecologist who did my surgery was genuinely surprised at how well I was after surgery considering all the complications. I had an abdominal total hysterectomy and bladder surgery in addition. Like Kevin says the bowel took the longest in terms of recovery for me, take it very slow on introducing food, start on juices, smoothies and soups.

Took dd2 to playgroup today with DH, just sat around chatting, but still tired out so after doing an online food shop I am now Mnetting in bed.

No, no ledkr, you have to allow him to be a tiny bit crap at it. Don't take over, you need at least three weeks doing absolutely sod all. Your DD will have to be a bit late for nursery now and then, it's not the end of the world. We had a rubbish Christmas dinner as I didn't cook it, that's just how it goes.

Ledkr. Do not step into save him. He'll just expect that and try it on. You need to withdraw more if anything.

Remember the advice from the great Nigel Molesworth (actually in the adult son off by Simon Brett):

When your wife asks you to do something, do not refuse. This only leads to unpleasant consequences. Do it extremely badly, and you will never be asked to do it again. The response you are after is, "oh for goodness sake Nigel, it would be quicker to do it myself".

Let him do it badly. It won't matter all that much. It does matter if you don't get well.

It gets worse, I have heard nothing all day from him not even a text, he was meant to be home at 5 knows I've nobody here tonight to help tonight.
So I just rang work to be told he's not even left as he is held up in the cells (copper) x
Obv can't always be helped but in the circumstances a phone call?
I'm beyond angry, I've had to do the kids tea and dd2 will need putting to bed soon, I've had to sit down as I feel weak.
I can't believe he would do this, he's usually the nicest bloke ever, I am seriously wondering is I can ever get past this let down and unconcern for me.

I'm in bed now after my rant. Dh is home and been ticked off
I'm tired today, I got up and pottered around so I think I'm very tired, it's weird how feeble you feel isn't it?
Dh is off tomorrow so I will rest all day.

Aw Ledkr. That sounds really difficult for both of you but he needs to know you need help. It's not optional. Police will be allowed special leave. You're not asking him to not work but to make clear he has to leave on time. It's a one off situation. He needs to step up and put you not work first

That's it exactly santas I'd bet my life that he hasn't even told them at work and they would be very good. He never tells anyone anything it was the same when our baby was ill, I told his sgt and she was brilliant.
He thinks he's being a god bloke but at what cost?

Kevinsbowel I shall push for keyhole. My DH is already organising my after care and I havnt even been to the gp yet. He had a quadruple heart bypass two years ago and had to be weighted on hand and foot When I said thats what it will be like for me I think it sank in what a big deal it will be

ginge I think that's the problem with my dh! he's never been ill in his life so has no clue what it's like.
He's very sweet tonight, apologising and bringing me dinner and pudding in bed.

May be hes seen the error of his ways. Make the most of it. Im a self confessed control freak. Im dreading having to sit on my arse for however long and let DH do everything. Thats worrying me more than the actual op I think !!

I think you have to let them do it their way. Even if their way looks bad to you. Relax, and find your inner child :) it is surprisingly addictive.

That's my problem I think,that and guilt. I'm probably days away from just getting on with things.
I'm on my own all bloody weekend. With a two yr old.

Do you not have family near by Ledkr ?

Ledkr. DO NOT DO IT. Seriously you will make your recovery slower and once you 'cope' people assume that you're recovered. You need to accept help.

Dh works weekends.
My friend is having me on Sunday with kids, cooking lunch etc
Saturday I will either go to mums or my ds will be here.
I'm like grandma!