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Original poster

*Tamoxigang Christmas Party* - 45

979 replies

Tiny100 · 28/11/2013 10:58

Morning All!

We're nearly in December, so let's get the festivities started.

[adds mince pies to the trolley]

OP posts:
GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 09:47

Marshy, how long have you been off from work? I was off for about 3 months once and found it helped to go back but for shorter periods of time and with set out rest breaks. I used to have to sit in a room with a meditation cd. Lol
I was given advice for what I had. I'm sure you have had/ you'll get advice too. I found that fatigue hit me of I assumed that I felt and worked as such, continuing as normal.

Wren48 · 17/12/2013 14:14

Ok. I'm wildly upset. Having declined my given date for mx and reconstruction on 23 December, I'm now being told that the next date they have is 20 January. I've been so resolutely positive but I'm really not coping well with this. The thing is that chemo will come after so it's not just about the operation. Damn.

Actually, it's probably an exaggeration to say I was positive before, but I was trying!

malteserzz · 17/12/2013 14:55

Oh wren that is a long time to wait :(
Will they contact you before then if for some reason someone else's op needs to be delayed ? Do you have a nice BCN you can talk to? I don't but a lot of people on here seem to
Big hugs

kitkat1967 · 17/12/2013 15:43

Blimey Wren that is a long wait. It's been a while since your initial diagnosis too, hasn't it? Makes the whole process even more drawn out.

Is it worth biting the bullet and going for the 23rd? You could have a Xmas day celebration before you went in?

Wren48 · 17/12/2013 16:29

Do you know, kitkat, that is what I'm beginning to think. They've now revised the later date that i could have to 31 January. I've broached the idea of an early Christmas with the children; the boys are doing their best but my daughter is devastated at the mix of me being ill and a lost Christmas. Also I blew it by crying when telling them.

My BCN is nice and very expert, but she's lost her colleague so is very busy and doesn't always return calls, and clearly thinks that I'm over reacting on the dates.

Original poster
Tiny100 · 17/12/2013 16:38

That's a long wait Wren, I have a feeling that you were probably offered 23rd Dec due to others not wanting that date either and opting for the New Year. I think you need to ask yourself are you happy to wait almost another month, or would you prefer to get the treatment plan started. Only you knows that answer, everything else, including Christmas, will fall into place.

Best of luck to Gigs, sending positive vibes your way.

Welcome to Goodness.

I have just got back from a lovely day out - took my LO to visit Father Christmas. He turned three last week and this is the first year he really 'gets' what Father Christmas is all about. It was lovely seeing his little face light up. Trying not to think about scan results tomorrow, but it keeps creeping into my mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiny100 · 17/12/2013 16:41

X-post Wren - 31st Jan is not so bad, maybe a sore start to the New Year, but at least Christmas plans won't be messed up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiny100 · 17/12/2013 16:42

My BCN is lovely and sends me a text each time I am due to go for chemo, then one after asking how it went. But I am not really sure what role they really play in the grand scheme of things......

OP posts:
malteserzz · 17/12/2013 17:28

Tiny are you thinking of 31st December rather than January ?

Wren such a tough decision I'm sorry you've been put in that position, only you can decide I honestly can't say what I would do

Original poster
Tiny100 · 17/12/2013 17:48

Opps yes Malt, I thought the revised date meant it was sooner not later! Gah, brain is clearly not in gear today. Double Gah, for the NHS.

OP posts:
GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 18:01

Tiny, I'm thinking of you. I imagine that this must be a very anxious time - waiting for the results.
Wren, when do you need to decide by (re dates)?

Gigondas · 17/12/2013 18:09

Scan was good as shows things healing GrinGrin and treatment ok.

Wren personally I would reject 23 on grounds that you are unlikely to have full staff in over Xmas (I know that it's meant to be but don't tell me that consultants are doing rounds of anything but golf on 27rh). I know new years is also holiday but it's not quite the same (plus I hate New Years so hospital seems as good a place as any to spend it).

Yay for Santa tiny.that sounds lovely day.

Had a lovely time in France - lots of eATing and shopping. When I was away, big gig lost her first tooth!

Original poster
Tiny100 · 17/12/2013 18:21

Thanks Goodness.

Great news Gigs, I am really pleased for you. You make a great point about staffing levels, however I think I may have confused everyone by thinking Wren had been offered the 31st Dec, when it was 31st Jan!

OP posts:
kitkat1967 · 17/12/2013 19:12

glad your scan was OK gigs and that you had a good time in French France.

Wren - are you going for reconstruction as well - and if so did you decide on the DIEP or the implant? If it's the implant you'd probably be out on Xmas day and be reasonably well but obviously not for the DIEP.

I've just come back from seeing my surgeon and we're going ahead with 17th Jan. I'll put the details on the reconstruction thread but just to say he told me not to start Tamoxifen at the start of Jan as planned but to leave it until a week or 2 after the Op - he said it would make no difference. Oh and I won't need any drains Smile.

Wren48 · 17/12/2013 20:46

Glad your results are good, gigs. That's so great; what a relief. You asked how long i have to decide on op dates: just til tomorrow (unfair i feel, given they've only just told me). Definitely double gah NHS.

kitkat, I had planned the DIEP reconstruction, but right now I'm even thinking about implants as I would get out earlier! But then I would feel triply bad if I was held on longer and missed Christmas anyway.

I don't think, treatment wise, that I can afford to leave it until the end of January.

GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 21:03

Gosh. That's not long to decide. Are you going to sleep on it?

kitkat1967 · 17/12/2013 21:13

Wren - I don't think you should settle for a reconstruction method that you don't want because of this issue - you have to live with the new breast(s) for a long time. Presumably the hospital would not be allowed to delay to a point that it was a risk to your health.

If it was me I would go for 23rd December on the basis that there will be many more Christmas Days but I know that is not for everyone.

Is it the reconstruction side that is making getting a date difficult? I know you need a plastic surgeon for the DIEP procedure so waiting is longer.

Or can you have a temporary TE put in and go back for the reconstruction (that's what I have done)? Also if you have implants option will you be able to have the DIEP done later - I've been told I can do this if in a few years I change my mind but I am private so not sure if NHS would give you a second go (so to speak).

Wren48 · 17/12/2013 23:04

These are all good questions, kitkat, and just what Ive been thinking about. The nhs covers all the options you mention, I think, so that's perhaps a real choice. I might try to chat to one of the plastics team tomorrow to ask about temporary implants and DIEP later. A lot of surgery, though, and there's the risk of a bad decision under pressure.

As you say, the tricky thing is getting both surgeons lined up - the breast surgeons are the less available, it seems.

Thanks for your support.

malteserzz · 18/12/2013 08:51

Morning all
Hope everyone is ok
Wren good luck with making your decision today
Tiny I think you have MRI results today so good luck
And I think Goodness has a biopsy so good luck to you too

Apologies if I've got any of that wrong, blame the chemo brain !

I'm off to watch ds in his school church service, he's doing a reading. I will probably cry !

Gigondas · 18/12/2013 09:02

Morning all - Brew?

Wren good luck with thinking on decision.

Tiny-lots of luck and big hand hold from me for results.

Got to finish cards ,wrapping and shopping list (it's all prepare in advance and easy cook as I will be flat on sofa under the tax truck as treatment. Dh needs to be on present building,though not made the mistake of last year with lots of stuff to build, and battery changing).

GoodnessKnows · 18/12/2013 09:30

Thank you. Thought I was doing ok this is the easy bit. But feeling teary n nervous. Enjoy the church service. I've heard of an amazing waterproof mascara called Blinc. Waiting for mine to arrive. Think I'll be needing it. Lovely moments make me cry more than usual.

Gigondas · 18/12/2013 09:47

Oh hugs goodness. It does get easier but go with the waterproof mascara for as long as needed.

Apologies for chemo brain, but when are you next seeing dr/op? You need a plan of treatment as loads Easier to focus on treatments than what ifs.

And stay away from google and the daily fail x

holstenlips · 18/12/2013 10:00

Good advice Gig re google and the Daily Fail!! A sure way to scare yourself senseless.
Good morning to everyone. How are we all doing?
Keeping up with everyone is tricky but I hope you are all doing as well as can be expected at this time of year with all this crap on top to deal with!
Im waiting (literally by the phone) for brain mri results. I had an mri Saturday due to a now 4 week headache and weakness on one side. Unfortunately on friday I collapsed at work and had fits. Now im signed off work and just waiting!!

GoodnessKnows · 18/12/2013 10:07

Lolling at the Daily Fail.
Ha ha
Will take water. All tips appreciated. Have called secretary of consultant to find out when I should make an appointment. No answer. As usual. Not first time. Other day I called to leave a message n broke down crying. She still didn't get back to me. I know there are other people but it's hard.
They told me last week and today I'm having a biopsy cos they were in such a bloody hurry to get results before Xmas (why?). So why then aren't they booking me for a follow up. Think I can answer my own question: they'll call me when results are in and will make room for me in their diary. Serious and rare tumours apparently get that priority. Lucky ole me.

Lilymaid · 18/12/2013 10:14

Christmas card etiquette ...
Do you do as I have done and shove in ( in between the stuff about holidays and general mishaps) the fact that you have had cancer diagnosis/treatment?
We send a very short note every year to those we don't see regularly - we've moved around a lot - so this is sometimes the only communication we make with some old friends during a year.