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Original poster

*Tamoxigang Christmas Party* - 45

979 replies

Tiny100 · 28/11/2013 10:58

Morning All!

We're nearly in December, so let's get the festivities started.

[adds mince pies to the trolley]

OP posts:
malteserzz · 16/12/2013 20:20

Oh wren I can't believe anyone would want an op on 23rd December I hope they find you a more suitable date quickly. That is a shame about your family not coming
Tiny my dh is doing all of the shopping and cooking for Christmas dinner so think we will have far too much too !

It's so nice without the drain, was swapped sides of the bed whilst it was in so were swapping back tonight !

GoodnessKnows · 16/12/2013 22:57

Hiya. Not sure whether this is the right place for me. Ineas told last Wednesday that I have a ruddy great tumour in my back - it's in my spinal column and has chronically eroded bone, etc. biopsy will be this Wednesday. My life has just turned upside down... or is about to be. Feeling a bit down and not managing to 'be positive'. The consultants think it looks benign. They are worried about the position of it (nerves, spine, etc.). I don't know what to be worried about. All of it. My children. My husband. Pain. I'm craaaaaaaap with pain. Shitting myself just about the biopsy.
Nuff said.

Gigondas · 16/12/2013 23:00

Goodness- sorry you are here and it must be very scary with so many unknowns. I have had two operations on my spine to remove tumours and fix up spine so ask away if you have any questions. Where is the growth ?

If it helps, both ops were a success and am in less pain now than before.

Hi everyone else- yay for no drains malt. Get scan results tomorrow and meant to do next chemo round so send me prayers, good vibe etc please.

Gigondas · 16/12/2013 23:04

Oh and if it makes you feel better both mine were eroding stuff- one on neck (Katherine Jenkins as it was known) and one on lumbar spine (gregg Wallace ) which was giving me shocking pain in legs and hip.

GoodnessKnows · 16/12/2013 23:12

My hip was achey and I've limped for a couple of seconds when I got up from lying down or siting. That's all. No pain.
Blind to have pain now though. I know I should be glad it was found but I'm predominantly not so glad. I was happier when I was innocently trundling along last week.
They THINK it's a melanocytic schwannoma. It's about 5cm long in the spinal canal and thereabouts. S3 etc. scary as fuck. Not in my Xmas plans. Poo

Gigondas · 16/12/2013 23:18

They will MRI ( if not done already) , x ray and ct scan so can plan op in detail.

Recovery time will be anything from 7-10 days usually . You will be given lots of pain relief to help.

You may feel very tired but after about 6 weeks , things should settle down.

Think biopsy usually takes about a week but they are usually good about guessing what it is so no reason to worry unduly if it's benign.

I was in a lot of pain and op bought relief.

GoodnessKnows · 16/12/2013 23:19

Glad you benefitted from it. How are you now - dare I ask as I think this is a thread for those who are struggling? In not sure.

GoodnessKnows · 16/12/2013 23:19

I don't know what I'm doing or saying and so apologies if I'm putting my foot in my mouth.

GoodnessKnows · 16/12/2013 23:23

Going to try to get to sleep now. Hope to chat again when feeling more positive. Who is this group for?

Gigondas · 16/12/2013 23:28

It's for anyone who is waiting on/had a cancer diagnosis at whatever state of life or how they are doing. It's also occasionally for people waiting on scans ,ops etc like you where we can share experiences or hold hands.

Don't worry about saying wrong thing as we all know how horrible and scary it can be to wait on op, results etc.

I am fine if a little creaky - my other health problems are not to do with my ops.

If you can't sleep, can you go watch some tv, read a book or something to try and distract you. If you sit in bed only makes you feel worse.

Gigondas · 16/12/2013 23:29

And you are more than welcome so please come and offload your worries here.

GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 05:52

Thank you, Gig. I've been awake since 4. Pretty good for me. Know I'll be shattered at 6 bit the children will wake up. I hope to find out whether tumour is benign before Xmas. They think it looks benign but dangerous nevertheless (spinal canal). Can't believe that only a week ago my biggest problem was... can't even remember what it was. Seems so very long ago. I'm in a different reality now. Well, on the midnight hours, anyway. Daytimes have been surreal - normal stuff with a mixture of disbelief and fear thrown in for good measure. I saw two consultants one after the other last week. All thrown at me. I should be grateful it's been found. Am I ungrateful not to feel it? I just had an achey hip.
Humph. Today will be filled with taking my children to get school shoes. Elf on the Shelf, work. When I know that tests and serious ops lie ahead. I know I'll be in intensive care afterwards. I have spotted a few grey hairs recently. Better have a hairdresser on speed dial. Lol

amberlight · 17/12/2013 06:05

Goodness, welcome! Hope you get some good answers very soon

Gigs, good luck!!

Wren48 · 17/12/2013 07:19

Hi Goodness, so sorry that you find yourself here; it sounds as though you are in deep shock at the moment. You certainly don't have to feel grateful it's found right now, but thank goodness for a really skilled health service who can deal with it.

It's very tricky, that business of feeling fine, but knowing that you will have a major operation that will make you feel not fine (I've had one, due another).

It's one of those annoying I-know-someone-who-had-what-you-have-and-theyre-fine stories, but my brother in law had a cancerous tumour lodged in the top of his spine. Safely removed 20 years ago and he's (excessively) fit and well now.

And gigs, good luck with results...

GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 07:33

Amber, thank you! Wren, that's soooo encouraging to hear. It's a bit of a mind fuck all this. Feeling fine. Finding out. Knowing just some if what's lying ahead. I'm such a scaredy cat anyway. But I'm sure that many of you have had similar experiences & emotions at the beginning. How's everyone doing now? I'm conscious of being a self-obsessed, self-piteous gate-crashed at a tea party. Fill me in?

malteserzz · 17/12/2013 07:52

Morning everyone

Goodness you are very welcome it just be a scary time for you so stick around if it helps

Gigs good luck for scan results did you have a good time in France ?

Not much happening here today just a sainsburys delivery and cleaners are coming. Feeling good as slept much better without Duncan drain !
Though I did just read the thread on here about pancreatic cancer which was v scary :(
Hope everyone has a good day

malteserzz · 17/12/2013 07:54

Goodness the feeling fine thing still freaks me out. I have breast cancer and it's only been the treatment which has made me feel ill, if I hadn't found the lump I'd still be in blissful ignorance

BetsyBoop · 17/12/2013 08:04

Just hopping on before school run to wish gigs good luck for scan results and us it next chemo today? (Or am I hopelessly mixed up?!)

Welcome goodness, though sorry you find yourself here. We all understand the shock/fear thing :)
I have had breast cancer (still trying to force my brain to accept past tense!) I've done chemo and surgery, rads to go after Christmas.

GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 08:05

That's just it, Malt! I'm glad you slept better last night. Am I 'allowed to stay' even if things are, please gd , benign? Apparently it's a long and scary road ahead. Could do with the company.

BetsyBoop · 17/12/2013 08:08

Oh and we are all "me me me" when we first find out, I remember posting a similar apology when I first joined this thread, as have many others, 'tis normal :)

malteserzz · 17/12/2013 08:11

Morning Betsy
Of course you can stay goodness, we've had relatives of people with cancer, people waiting for test results and all sorts Smile

GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 08:14

Thank you for the reassurance. I feel like a child in this group. I'm in desperate need but actually don't want to be here. Previously, I've come across similar scary health threads and couldn't even bring myself to read as was so scary and upsetting to hear of the struggles of others. Hate to say it, but only days before I found out what as going on, I thought about how handy it would be to have a disabled badge for my car. Looks like it's been growing a long time , this tumour. Were it not (looking like) it's been fling for a while, I'd have thought I'd brought it on myself for having such awful thoughts.

GoodnessKnows · 17/12/2013 08:15

Please excuse my multiple mad thoughts. I just ... I don't know. I'm all over the place. I'm hoping to get my head together and be pouring cups of tea for others and thinking less crazy thoughts v soon.

Wren48 · 17/12/2013 08:34

Goodness, I think crazy thoughts and feeling overwhelmed and out of control is par for the course. And there is nothing that you have thought or done that has brought this on - easy though it is to think.

I think you are in the worst phase - a semi diagnosis, but not knowing that much and lots of treatment to come. It does settle down.

There's a Macmillan cancer support chat line that you can call if you just want to talk to someone - you don't have to feel that you can't call them because it may not be cancer.

Marshy · 17/12/2013 09:07

Just popping on to say good luck to gigs and sending good vibes your way.

Hello to goodness. I think I saw your other thread. It's good that you found your way to this one. You will find lots of.understanding here.

Spoke to my boss yesterday. Am planning phased return to work from 6th Jan. Feeling a bit anxious about returning to the hurly burly. She also invited me to a meal out with my colleagues on Thursday evening which they have arranged at a venue near me to make it easier for me to go, so that's nice. No doubt I will hear (and start fretting about) all the gossip.