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Original poster

does anyone here have a phobia to vomiting?

93 replies

retailtherapist · 23/06/2006 21:41

For as long as I can remember i have had a severe phobia to vomiting. Can't stand it if anyone is sick near me, have panic attacks and then worry for days in case I am sick myself. I have never been sick yet!
In absolute state at moment as my 2yr old d/s has just had a gastric virus - he spent 3 nights in hospital as he was dehydrated. He actually threw up over me when it started and I think the shock of it all is just hitting me now that he is home and recovering.
I am now terrified of getting close to him in case he is sick again and he now feels unclean. It is breaking my heart as when he needs me most I feel I am not there for him. I force myself to hold him but I know that he can sense my distance. Am terrified of being left alone with him as d/h has been around all the time so far.
Would love to know if any other Mums have this phobia and how you deal with it, as I've been told it's quite common.

OP posts:

crazydazy · 27/06/2006 09:06

Oh yes I bloody watched the game and saw Beckham do it!!! Its been playing over in my head ever since!!!!

Footprint - yes the antidepressants did help so much, for the first time in my life I went abroad and was not counting down the days until I came back and I even got sunstroke and was quite ill myself one night (although I stopped myself being sick) and I still didn't want to come home, normally something like that would make me want to hop on the plane and come straight home!!! The kids were absolutely fine and I didn't worry about what they were eating, I was just so calm it was really good.

I am not saying that antidepressants are good for everyone but they do work for me and I feel so much better in myself than I have done for years.

I like snuffy worry more about others than myself but fortunately for me my kids are rarely ill [touch wood]. I too pride myself on the fact that I am able to cope with them in other ways i.e when they have nose bleeds (which DS frequently does) I cope and reassure them when they are scared and also if they ever get fevers I am the one that sorts it out and brings it back down whereas DP doesn't have a clue but when I need him the most when the kids are sick he's there for them and for me so I guess I'm very lucky.

When they have been ill in the past it has really pushed me into seeking help for it because I do feel such a failure!!!

crazydazy · 27/06/2006 09:11

I must say though if DP worked away, which fortunately for me he doesn't I think I would fall to pieces. I really don't believe I would cope without him being there EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

So I take my hat off to DG and Snuffy for even being able to come on here and admit how hard it is for them looking after their children on their own - I just know I couldn't!!!

Original poster

retailtherapist · 27/06/2006 10:31

Thanks to everyone for all your encouraging messages. D/s is fine now, still a bit wobbly and hardly eating anything. I still panic when he burps though! Unfortunately d/h has got it. Heis in isolation! I have slept in the spare room and fortunately we have two bathrooms so I haven't actually seen or heard him. We communicate through texting (brilliant) and I leave things outside the door for him! He is on the mend now but I now have another few days of the incubation period to get through!
I really don't know how I am holding it together - valium helps though! I just can't wait for this whole nightmare to be over so I can begin to enjoy life again. But I feel as though things will never be the same.
I have thought myself about going on to anti-depressants but have had 2 m/c this year as am (was) trying for another baby. Now I seriously am questioning whether I am fit to be a mother to one child, let alone two.

OP posts:

crazydazy · 27/06/2006 10:49

oh retail don't be so hard on yourself we all feel that way sometimes but I think you have done really well for still being there looking after your son when your DH is poorly too!!! I would be beside myself too so have lots of sympathy for you.

Original poster

retailtherapist · 27/06/2006 14:18

thanks Crazydazy. D/h just got up and said he's going in to work.. was at deaths door this morning. I told him not to and have banished him upstairs to the bedroom! I don't want him downstairs as it's my safe, sterile zone!
Now that d/h and d/s have recovered I just have to get through the next few days waiting to see if I get it. Ate a proper meal for first time in days and feel much better for it.

OP posts:

crazydazy · 27/06/2006 17:07

Its a vicious circle though, we worry to eat but then the not eating makes us feel even worse!!!

When I was 12 years old I only weighed 4 stone - thats half a stone more than DD weighs now and she's 6. I think I was at my worst around that time though.

What made me laugh is everyone thought I had anorexia because I wouldn't eat - people were so ignorant about the phobia then though.

footprint · 27/06/2006 17:14

RT, I am also struggling to eat at the moment, since dd was ill on Sunday night. can only manage soup for some reason (safe!)

I am so lucky that I am ok with dd or dh being sick, it's only the thought of it happening to ME that sends me into this crazed anxiety.

Why do I have to worry about it all day, every day?

Original poster

retailtherapist · 27/06/2006 21:58

footprint I really feel for you as we are obviously both feeling as anxious as each other. All I can say is that whilst you're lying ther worrying about every twinge and gurgle in the night... so am I!
I have this strange notion that if i don't eat I can't be sick which I know is not true. However, I have tried to eat the minimum to keep me going. For some reason can't eat anything too coloured, particularly red food and stick to very bland pale stuff... I think you know why.
I too was extremely underweight as a child as I stopped eating after my Mum had a bug. The doctor told my mum I was on the verge of anorexia too!
Do any of you emetophobics have total recall of each time someone has been sick near you? I certainly do. I have the most awful memory for everything else but could list every sick incident since I was about four.
Oh well I'm off to bed now and hope that I survive another night!

OP posts:

footprint · 28/06/2006 12:09

Is anyone else around?? I am sitting here crying with fear. After seeming completely recovered yesterday, today dd can't even keep water down. Have been cleaning up all morning and just can't imagine how I will NOT catch it. dh is at work and I am so scared. Don't know what to do.

If anyone is around just to chat while she sleeps, that would be really good.

snuffy143 · 28/06/2006 12:18

Hi. How are you doing? My hubbie is away in Egypt and I am not sleeping out of terror of sick. Is weird how bugs somtimes come back...had that happen to my DD, too. You may not catch it...DD has had one, DS another this year and both have not shared it with any of the rest of us each time.

DumbledoresGirl · 28/06/2006 13:25

Footprint, my heart goes out to you. What rotten luck for you. Do you have some disposable rubber gloves to wear whilst cleaning up? All you can do is wear the gloves, use the antiseptic spray on everything and trust to your superior immune system. I am sorry I wasn't around earlier for you. It did occur to me earlier though that I would be quite happy to support people on msn is you need to chat during a crisis. Although I am as phobic as the rest of you (yes RT, I remember every vomiting incident far too vividly) I do seem to be able, where I know others are sometimes not, to chat about it. Anyway, I am [email protected] if anyone needs an understanding ear.

lulabelle · 28/06/2006 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazydazy · 28/06/2006 17:56

I've got both unfortunately but I think the fear for myself is less than the fear of others. I do panic when I get ill don't get me wrong and do worry like mad when I have pains in my tummy but over the years I have just learnt to live with it, its only started bothering me again since having kids.

I go to pubs and have been to nightclubs when I was younger, I think when I was younger it didn't really bother me too much as I knew if it happened to others I could leave the situation, with my kids I can't!!!!!

Ironically I am the one that gets the most tummy bugs in our house!!!

Original poster

retailtherapist · 28/06/2006 18:51

Help! I am feeling very lousy now too and I'm sure it's not in my head as I was feeling fine and it came on all of a sudden. Have taken a diazepam (valium) and an anti-sickness tablet and feel marginally better but I'm convinced I have got the bug.
I really don't know what i'll do if I have. I am so frightened. I just wish I could die.
D/h is fully recovered and I'm sure will look after me but that doesn't help. I have made him promise to ring doctors and insist that they come and give me an injection to stop it if i get it. That is the only way I can prepare.
I too avoid situations where the dreaded event is likely to happen and as a teenager I missed out on alot of social events because of it.
I too would give anything to be rid of this phobia as I can't imagine going through this time and time again as d/s gets older.
Footprint my heart goes out to you. Sorry I wasn't there to chat earlier. I hope you have survived the afternoon. I think it is very weird to think that someone else is sitting there going through exactly what i am. I so wish we weren't.

OP posts:

footprint · 28/06/2006 19:00

RT - how are you feeling? I understand the feeling of being so scared you want to die

I really hope you are ok

Original poster

retailtherapist · 28/06/2006 19:04

it's awful. I am just waiting for what i think is the inevitable to happen. It's so hard to distinguish between panic and anxiety and actually having something wrong. I just wish I knew either way. Hope you are ok.
Must go now to bath d/s.

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 28/06/2006 19:10

Wishing you all the best RT. If having someone else wishing really hard for your well-being can do anything, you will be fine as I am really really hoping you escape the bug.

Original poster

retailtherapist · 28/06/2006 19:58

Thanks Dumbledoresgirl. I couldn't be wishing harder myself!

OP posts:

crazydazy · 28/06/2006 21:16

Hope you are feeling better RT. That is the worst thing about this phobia not knowing whether you genuinely feel ill or if it is the anxiety. I was convinced the other week that I was going to be sick and really it was just anxiety and I had worked myself up so much that my brain made my stomach believe I was going to be ill but I wasn't. The mind is so much more powerful than the body.

I am sure you too have not got the bug but I think you have just convinced yourself you have got it!! Emetophobics hardly ever catch bugs, some of the others on here have reported years and years of not being ill and not physically been able to.

If you have taken care with the hygiene aspect, have not been in direct contact with someone who has vomited then I would say its highly unlikely you have caught it or will catch it.

I know its hard but try to relax.

footprint · 29/06/2006 08:20

How are you feeling today RT? Did things get any worse? I am thinking of you.

Heartmum2Jamie · 29/06/2006 08:37

OMG, I can't even escape from this phobia in my dreams. I dreamt last night that ds1 was sick. Argh!!! I certainly hope it is not a premonition. I guess it has been playing on my mind alot as ds2 hasn't been too well a bit whiney with a swinging temp for 48 hours, but he is eating some food, so not too bad.

BIg HUGS to all those who need them right now.

ills · 29/06/2006 13:08

Hi I am another ne with this phobia. My ds who is 1 has had 2 stomach bugs 1 on christmas day and the other on mother's day. Both times i was terrified that dd who is 3 would get it. She didn't. I don't mind vomiting myself but hate it in other people. Like you the first time dd had a stomach bug when she was 18 months old I was terrified of her and being on my own with her. At the time I was 7 months pregnant and thought what have I done. All I can say is that the anxiety has decreased graduallly with her. Has anybody had successful treatment for this. I feel it is stopping me enjoying time with my children and restricting travelling abroad etc.Hope you are OK retail you will get through this bad patch honest

imaginaryfriend · 29/06/2006 13:24

I'm another sufferer. Like you RT and footprint I can starve myself for days if I suspect anything is in the air. My dd is nearly 4 and I haven't been sick since I was about 8. Even when people I knew had bugs the most I'd ever do was dry retch. UNTIL I had to take dd to A&E earlier this year with something totally unrelated and I must have picked up a bug which totally utterly threw me. I was sick for 48 hours, water, everything, then felt sick and retched for a further 5 days. Dd got it after me (I was so unconcerned by her having it because I knew I couldn't catch it because I'd given it to her ), then dp got it. We were all really poorly. Since then I've lost over a stone in weight. I can't eat any more. I constantly think I feel sick and watch dd for signs of bugs like a hawk.

I'm totally utterly miserable.

footprint · 29/06/2006 13:41

ImaginaryFriend you poor thing!!!

I always thought that if I ever actually had to "do the deed" it would cure me, but your experience and other mnetters experiences suggest that is not at all the case. That is very, very depressing.

Why is there no treatment for this

imaginaryfriend · 29/06/2006 13:51

I thought that too, footprint. I sometimes wondered if my phobia was due to my never being sick. In fact it's made it flare up perhaps worse than before. I've been very underweight all my life because I starve myself at every moment there's a situation I fear I might be sick in, anything public etc. I've been like this since I was last sick, aged 8, what a life!

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