Tamoxifen bus shelter -42

[Gigondas]

Dragging trolley onto new thread.

Handbags glad it went ok
MAS how are you feeling now ?
In laws have gone was lovely to see them but am ready to chill in pjs and without wig now !
Will have to get a plumber in but it's not desperate as we have another shower we can use
My legs still ache is this how the tax truck starts ?

Malt - am sure you are pleased to get your house back - you can never really relax with visitors.
Are you caught up on Downton now or will you have to give tonight's episode a miss?

One bit of the "journey" ticked off handbags, fingers crossed for the results.

malt yes achy legs on the Sunday is how it starts for me, but you never know, that might be all you get :)

Hope you enjoy your meditation MAS

Journey? Hmmph! Cancer can go on a journey ... As far away from all of us as possible!

Glad your op went well Handbags. Good luck for results.

Malt, take it easy with the bone ache and keep your tramadol handy.

I am so envious of people finishing chemo. Self pity is not fun or attractive in any way. Stupid disease.

I sent off for a dna kit for dd to see where our ancestors came from. I love looking at family history. I suspect she may have a ginger gene as she and her brother and two cousins are beautifully red haired.

Evening all - just checking in to say hope everyone had a good weekend, love and good thoughts to those recovering from surgery, and to anyone awaiting treatment or results next week.

Am trying to catch up on all you posts, - hello to any new people I may have missed joining us in the last few days

Busy weekend - seemed to have lots of jobs to do, and we have finally got a new car (well a second hand car - new to us!) we pick it up on Tuesday - can't wait to have wheels again!

Love to all, will catch up, and post properly tomorrow xx

Good morning.

Ok so cancer is shite but I have to pluck at positives along the way, and this morning it s the fact I don't have to go to work on a Monday morning.

Not much planned today, will try and do a walk as it really lifts my spirits, and have to go for my blood test at some point.

Morning all - agree foofoo that not getting up on Monday is good.

Waves at kurri. - yay re new car. Also loved look of your cake on FB.

Lilymaid your comment on journey made me laugh.

Got sign off from surgeon (and saw pictures of screws in my back - they are huge!!) on Friday but he is getting more advice on whether need to continue antibiotics as wound not yet healed .

Has quiet weekend as was tired after busy week. Today got to plan the half term "tesco" trip , sort out gp( I won't bore you but the fact that getting a prescription let alone one that is right is so hard makes me ) and avoid the builders (yep still here tho it is starting to look finished).

Sending no pain no sick vibes to malt (hope flood stopped) betsey kitkat and anyone else who needs it.

Morning all. Hope everyone is well. I have a lot of work to do today and tomorrow (as month end), which is a pain as I am getting further and further removed from work, but needs to be done - all from home though so no need to go into the office.

Gig - is the half-term trip to Tesco France or somoewhere else this time?

Morning all

Hope all those that had a difficult weekend, have a better day today.

I am a complete nervous wreck about the surgery tomorrow, which is really pathetic. Because it's my second surgery. So I know what lies ahead, I know what it's like to have GA now. I know where I'm going etc etc so why am I so worried??

I am seeing BCN at half 9 this morning finally I might get some more info on whats happening. I have my looooooooonnnnnnnngggggg list of questions! that'll teach her to go on holiday

Then the rest of my day is working and trying not to think about things! Hmmmm easier said than done! Think another sleepless night might lie ahead!

Catch up with you all later. Might need a few hands to hold later xx

You in finance too kitkat? I try to keep up with stuff tho on sick leave but it's hard when at home.

Tesco France plus somewhere in U.K. Want somewhere with things to do but not to remote so can have access to cafes, pubs etc. I vetoed dh idea on farm as u wanted to stay somewhere that I could walk to cafe etc if didn't feel like day out.

Ideas welcome- so far thinking of Norfolk/ Suffolk, dorset, Yorkshire again or Cornwall. Fact weather won't be great not a huge issue.

Am glad you have an early appt with you BCN really - hopefully you'll get your answers and feel happier about tomorrow.

gig - no am in IT but manage large accounts so have lots of finance stuff to do - it starts on day-1 and goes on for about 8 days each month. To be fair I love it and asked to keep hold of all the numbers even though I am no longer doing operational stuff. Actually it will be nice to do it without chemo brain for once.

gigs the screw a in your back? What are they made of! And d you set off the s canner things at an airports?

Good luck to really today, hand holding at the ready f need be.

I'm back to work n some form in a couple of weeks but its going to take a while for my brain to get going.

Sorry about the awful typing

They are about 6cm long and made of titanium so ok for MRI, not sure about scanners tho .

Morning all
Glad to hear everyone is okish
I'm the same as yesterday really achy tired and fed up, counting down the days to the weekend when I hope I'll feel myself again
Gigs trip sounds good and something to look forward to
Kitkat I've caught up and watched downton last night, dh most unimpressed
Really hope you get the answers to your questions today

Amber looks like she's having a fabulous time !

Really good on you for having a long list of questions. Is someone coming with you who can help you make a note of / remember the answers? DH has so far come with me to all appointments and he has been amused at the amount of questions I bombard my Dr with. I want to know everything it's possible to know at each stage. I think it's partly to do with that's just how I am, and partly because I work as a project manager and want to understand / manage / organise everything (oh and a healthy dose of OCD thrown in there). Have you been introduced to the Breast Cancer care nurses too? They would be able to answer lots of your questions too. Listen to me, I'm such an expert now .

Also laughed at comments about wanting cancer to go off on its own personal journey as far away from us as possible.

I am by nature an optimistic person and I am trying to stay in that frame of mind. I therefore fully concur with Foofoo's comment about not having to go to work on a Monday morning. Therefore time for another .

I also agree about not having to go into work on a Monday morning. As usual I sloped back to bed after the kids got the bus and have just got up now. Am working today but only from home - so will be starting on soon.

gigs what about Southwold Tesco or Mass favourite Tesco. Lots of lovely cafes etc and beach and seasides stuff for the little gigs, not too far if combining with Paris Tesco.

They had one of those whole body scanners at Dallas airport and if you looked back you could see your image on the screen that was there for the woman who then had to do the body search if something shows up, a bit personal, it's the one that shows you nude! Of course my silicone boob showed up. The elderly woman in front of me had set it off and had a complete panic attack, I think she may have thought she was about to be surrounded and arrested for terrorism or didn't want to be touched or something, she was absolutely petrified, shaking and crying. So the woman doing the searches just smiled at me ruefully when my image set it off again and said "I really hate this job" and waved me straight through I don't think I have ever encountered an American security person with a sense of perspective before

Interesting comments from Jennifer Saunders www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/09/28/cancer-jennifer-saunders_n_4008879.html I think she has a point, there will be plenty of excuses for some to don the pink feather boas and get a bit of attention in the coming month, but also a wee bit patronising, I have encountered her quite a bit at gym, school etc and she does have an air of entertaining illusions of superiority. However I like ade's comment about it being, not so much a journey, more a car crash

really it is perfectly normal to worry about surgery, it is frightening, we all understand and are here for handholding.

ambers pictures are great, like having a tour of Europe.

malt very impressed by your cast iron constitution, looks like T not being too bad either.

Sending good vibes to all who need them for ops, appointments etc.

really - perfectly normally to feel a bit panicky the day before surgery - you'll probably find that once you are at the hospital tomorrow a strange calm comes over you - it always did for me! - I hope you have a good chat wit your BCN this morning and get plenty of reassurance for tomorrow xx

Foofoo - I agree on walks being really beneficial - I did loads of walking when I was between surgeries/waiting for results etc etc. - It probably releases endorphins (or something like that) I know it always helped me.

Gigs - I can plug Norfolk (where I live now) and Dorset (where I grew up and where you might come across a couple of tamoxigang reprobates! ) - North Norfolk coast is lovely, - some gorgeous sandy beaches, seals (boat trips out from Blakeney Point, but check whether they are there in Oct), various NT houses if you like that sort of thing, plenty for Kids to do, lots of good fish and chip places on the coast so you can sit eating F and C watching the tide come in.

Dorset - just beautiful, what can I say? - I love it - it's God's own county.
But wherever you go, have a lovely time

Love to all - hope everyone is comfortable and not feeling to yuk atm, - good vibes to all waiting for surgery/results/treatments this week.

TV man is due any minute with my TV stand

morning all, have been reading the last 4 pages to catch up so hope everyone who were down are now up - those who were achy are now un-achy and those who wrre tired are now refreshed !

really I hope your list of questions gets answered. It funny the way you describe yourself, you could be me ! I am a project manager too and have to get everything orgnaised within an inch of its life lol

gigs if you hadn't posted today i was going to start a rumour that you and topsy had eloped together - she has not been around here for a while though I know she's OK as she was in my house on Friday for pub night and again on Saturday on the pretence of me teaching her a new crocheting stitch, ha .... I can't remember how to crochet !!! really it was for a wee glass of wine ! I vote Cornwwall for your getaway. Polperro or Looe are great pretty quaint places to relax but with Plymouth and Padstow/Newquay within an 45 min drive, there is life for the kids too. Polperro had at least 5 pubs too lol

I am taking the afternoon off today to have a long relaxed lunch with two ex-colleagues who were lucky and were able to retire at 51 . I am really looking forward to it as it will make up for yesterday when my children were more than trying. My DS(9) had what I call a very 'autistic' day and was having meltdowns all day and needed a lot of one to one and reassurance and his fear of dogs made him run away from me and the 4yo (who was on his bike) on a busy promenade and I thought I'd lost him. I ended up having to walk down a busy mainstreet in a seaside town with the yong one riding his bike and the older one crying his eyes out because of the dogs. Both then started arguing and I ended up crying (sliently) myself while I drove home. DH was blissfully asleep in bed as he is on night duty :( and breaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaath !

Gigs Second Southwold for family break ... or Aldeburgh. Plenty of places to mooch about, have coffee and nice stuff for children (also got tiny cinemas). Alternatively West Dorset - Lyme/Charmouth area, though you'd need to be in Lyme for a choice of cafes.
Just learnt that someone else at work is being treated for breast cancer ...

I used to quite like JS on the telly, - but I think those comments show a remarkable lack of insight and sensitivity - really who the fuck is she to comment on others feelings, fears, and thought processes? or to make sweeping statements about being cancer free, when everyone's cancer is different - she may well have not had the same disease as some of the people she slags off. I actually don't buy into this 'cancer's very common, everyone gets it, its easily treated' crapola - yes it is common, yes it is more easily treated than it used to be, but it's still very scary, (tell me you weren't ever scared and overwhelmed JS - Liar!) it's a life threatening illness and for many people it totally changes their lives.

I hope I don't wear my cancer like a badge - its not something I mention to people who don't know me, and its certainly something I would not have wished to be in my life. Five years on, I still have low days, days of fear and panic. My outlook on life has completely changed - I no longer think I am immortal, I no longer think I have endless amounts of time to do the things I want to, so I get on and do them.
I don't have Jennifer's ability to ignore the facts and possibilities of my disease, that doesn't make me attention seeking, - a realist or a pessimist maybe.

And for lots of people I know, talking about their cancer is their way of coping, or normalising and decreasing the fear. People deal with trauma in different ways, some pretend it never happened, some talk it through to reach closure.

But that is how I feel - unlike JS I would never be so arrogant as to assume that others experience is the same as mine, and if it is different, that it is not equally as valid as my own. If Jennifer is free from fear and worry then that's great for her, she's in a privileged position of having had rewarding and fulfilling career, and she has grown up children and grandchildren - she has those things which younger women affected by cancer may not dare hope for.

Ade is spot on though, good for him.

Betsy, on working during Rads. Yes you could, but do you have to go back just yet?? Truth is you do get very tired on Rads, so if you can avoid going back I would. Do something for you - I used to go to a favourite cafe after each session, then used one of those London Boris bikes to cycle most of the way home. Was a sort of a life affirming gesture, but a teeny one. Take the time, mentally as well as physically you'll need it.

Bugger about the shower, Malt. That's the last thing you need. Hope the aching's not too bad.

Yay for op being done, Handbags.

really, you're not pathetic! Surgery's scary. Be scared, but trust them. Honestly let the drugs take you and you'll soon be back, then that's another bit ticked off.

Gig, my titanium screw doesn't set off the scanners. Friend stayed in fab cottage in Dunwich recently - pub next door, beach walkable. Will check if it's free and message you the link if it is. Blakeney's a great thought from Kurri.

Read that link, Pigeons. I never believe anyone who says they're not scared of recurrence - silly bint.. Still like her, but might have to go off her if she carries on like that. Hugely unhelpful of her to dictate and belittle how others deal with it all. Even though I hate the pink month crap, each to their own and if it helps people through that's fine surely.

Sounds like you deserve that lunch, HND. How often does your 9 year old have days like that? Must be very hard for you to cope with.

Nowt happening here other than work. Off out to a posh work do later - I so don't do posh.. Have to wear a frock, so have dug out the black dress I usually wear for funerals. Thought I could dress it up with a leopard skin print scarf. Free wine apparently, so am sure no-one will even notice..

Round of applause for KK

I think the point about Cancer being common is particularly crass, and shows she may have got lost in the fog of pink candy floss that the truth of this horrible disease can get lost in. In fact I think she donned some pink sparkly shit for the moonwalk. metro.co.uk/2012/05/14/pictures-walk-the-walks-moonwalk-2012-3036112/jennifer-saunders-takes-part-in-the-walk-the-walks-moonwalk-at-hyde-park-walk-the-walk-is-a-grant-making-breast-cancer-charity-which-has-raised-over-77-million-since-it-was-formed-15-years-ago-by-n/ if that isn't attention seeking I don't know what is. It may be common but it is life threatening, and the treatments are an assault both physically and on your self esteem. No one should be drawing a veil over it because once people get complacent they stop trying quite so hard to find better treatments and the answers to the awkward questions about why so many more of us are getting the bugger, and getting it younger.

I am probably one of those people who talks about it, because I do think it should be out in the open and not a guilty secret. As soon as people start looking uncomfortable and wanting to change the subject the Cancer tourettes kick in I certainly don't think of it as any sort of badge, I hate it when people allude to my illness and how "brave" I was just because I am a stoic by nature, and prefer not to show my inner feelings. I am angry about what this disease did to me and my family and to my friends and their families, there is absolutely nothing glamourous about it and it is not some sort of achievement to have gone through it, you endure it because you have no choice. However I think the point of us all doing it differently is an important one, I know that however much I hate it some people do actually get comfort from the pink sparkly shit and want to take the opportunity to feel special, just as some want to curl up in a ball and hide, nothing wrong with either and I don't think I or JS has a right to feel superior about it.

Still like Ab Fab though. Just a shame she couldn't use her sense off humour to help others get through this . I do think laughing at Cancer is something we can all benefit from. Still we have had people like Deborah Orr whose response to her illness was a lot more helpful. www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/02/breast-cancer-journey-staycation