thank you grumble. I feel a little low at the moment. Not sure why, is that normal after GA? I don't remember feeling this way last GA I had? Or is it morphine comedown as I had a lot from yesterday to lunch time today, then replaced with codeine?
I also had a rather inconsistent experience of NHS care, some of which left me in tears, and some of which made me want to hug the nurse for actually giving a toss and being nice. The level of aftercare was shocking and inconsistent enough to make me feel that, should I find myself in need of fusion in the future, I will prefer to pay for private care. I could not fault the care of the pre and recovery team and the anaesthetists, even the registrar before was kind and gentle in his manner. But, the aftercare, well, the nurse and HCAs that were lovely seemed to be the few not the most. I felt at times (much of the time) that I was in the way - I was not on neuro ward as no space, was on ortho ward so lots of people sicker than me there, as it was pointed it out as I had sick dripping from my nose down my chin, crying as no-one answered my call bell - I just wanted a tissue and to check my anti-sickness drugs had been asked for. I actually got told off when the nurse eventually stomped in asking who was buzzing and what did I want? for being upset that I had been left puking after being left to walk back from toilet on my own, the first time I walked properly and I needed to realise they have other things to do, not waiting around for me to buzz them. Or earlier being asked told to wait 5 mins or so to have the commode as she was doing the medicine round and was not meant to stop doing it, I had to wait for the HCA to finish doing someone's dressing 'well? can you wait or not?'.
I feel a little like a drama queen that didn't really have anything major done, like I have made too much of a fuss asking for help. Maybe I am over-reacting. It's not a big deal puking is it? I actually sat there chucking up with tears running down my face as if I were at home, DH would be able to take the almost full bowl away and give me some tissues. I felt that I was expecting too much - they are busy, they said, got other patients, they said, not just me. It's not just me that needs care and so I just have to wait sometimes.
I wonder how much of this leaving me feeling down, or, once I am over the next day or so, I will put it all into perspective and realise that they were just doing there job and I was wrong to expect a higher level of care. I mean, they are not my mum or my husband are they?
But, there was one nurse who said that for example stomping to the edge of the ward when the curtains were drawn around some beds and barking 'who's buzzing? what do you want?' was not ok. And she looked after me last evening, and another nice nurse through the night. And same nice nurse for the last of my stay. She was lovely, and I felt so grateful for her kindness, that she actually gave a toss.
But, as I said, it's just blues right? like baby blues maybe? anticlimax after such a long long long wait. Just another person in the system, in, out, done and be grateful. And, also i guess the most important people to be doing their job perfectly is the ones with the knife/laser right?