tell me about strokes :(

[MrsShrek3]

MIL found at the bottom of the stairs by BIL 6am this morning. she doesnt get up early so chances she has been there some time and golden hour well gone. DH gone to hosp (she has gone in ambulance obv) dh in bits and has only finished chemo in Jan so not very resilient. wtf do we do? what to expect?

[MrsShrek3]

a bit rubbish tbh. more surgery today on bowel - they've taken another bit out and done an ileostomy. blood pressure very low and back on ventilator.
sorry if it is all a bit muddled. cant think straight. she had surgery last night too as.it was discovered that the blood supply to her bowel had been blocked and therefore some of it was dead and probably burst causing peritonitis. Before that she was sitting in the chair and writing notes to dh. Looked quite promising. then this

[Turningupsidedown]

Oh MrsS so so sorry, really hope the latest surgery gets on top of it. You must be exhausted. You must feel very muddled with so much happening in such a short time. Don't feel pressured to update, but I am listening if it helps. You are very much in my thoughts, more hugs sent.

[MrsShrek3]

blimey yurning you have enough going on too

[MrsShrek3]

yurning = Turning +typo

[Yurningupsidedown]

Don't worry, I got called Turnip recently!

[MrsShrek3]

pmsl at namechange.... stoppit

[frostyfingers]

Obviously there's more going on than "just" a stroke, and that makes it all so much more complicated. However my experience with stroke (my mum had a massive bleed 5 years ago at 70, we were told to prepare for the worst and that if she survived she would be completely incapable) - left me with this: the brain is so hugely complicated that there is no one size fits all diagnosis possible, the experts can not and do not know exactly what will happen and how it will affect someone, each case is so very specific. They give you the best information they can, but don't accept it as gospel. My mum fought and fought and came home able to look after herself after 3 months intensive in patient rehab - she wasn't allowed to drive again - but she did manage on her own, shopping, cooking, washing etc absolutely fine.

There's no denying it's hard work for everyone involved, physically and emotionally but it can work out right. Fingers and toes crossed for some better news for you all.

[MrsShrek3]

switching her life support off now. DH staying with her until she is gone

[mummylin2495]

So sorry to see this sad news. Awful for everyone in the family especially your dh x

[HadALittleFaithBaby]

Oh I'm so sorry :( praying for you all.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I'm so sorry MrsShrek3

Wshing you and your family all the best x

Sometimes life seems very cruel and relentless....

[frostyfingers]

Such sad news, so sorry to hear it.

[Turningupsidedown]

So, so sorry to see this Thinking of you all.

[MrsShrek3]

24hrs changes everything doesn't it

[SomeBear]

I am so sorry to hear this. Life is so cruel sometimes, sending you my best wishes.

[TheDeadlyDonkey]

I'm so sorry MrsS :(

[TallGiraffe]

I'm so sorry to read this. Thinking of you and your family this evening

[NotAQueef]

I am so sorry to read this.
Thinking of you and your family tonight x

[MrsShrek3]

DH is still sitting with her. she is still being ventilated and some sedation but nothing else. blood pressure ridiculously low but she's hanging on. He is staying with her

heartbreaking.

[archfiend]

Oh no MrsS, I'm so very sorry to read your latest updates. . She has clearly fought incredibly hard but sometimes it's just not enough. Will be thinking of you all this evening. x

[MrsShrek3]

Arch, thank you for all your amazing support over the last week. You've been incredible

[Pandemoniaa]

Oh, Mrs Shrek, I am so, so, sorry to hear this. Will be thinking of you all. xx

[archfiend]

You're very sweet ! Honestly, I am just glad it has helped a little. I wasn't on MN when DH had his stroke, and I know how much it would have helped to know about anyone else dealing with all this stuff.

[CityTiliDie]

MrsS Big Hugs.

I had similar with my DM 6 years ago. She had a different type of stroke and was never given any hope so we had five weeks to sit and watch her die slowly but peacefully. It was almost a nice way to go and we knew she was 'hapy' about it as it was something we had talked about as a family in the past. She had already palnned her 'leaving do' (wouldnt have a funeral as they are morbid and dull).

When it cam to the end my DSis and DF sat with her for 36 hours but she refused to go so they both left to go home and freshen up. 10 minutes after they had left the hospital she died.

Your DC are a credit to you and will cope far better than you can hope for and probably far better than you or your DH.

Its a really tough time for you but you will all get through it and time will help. Remember to never stop talking about your DMil and dont stop talking to her either. i talk to my DM every day and it helps me a lot. I was lucky that 9 months after she passed away my DD was born and she is the image of my DM in every way so I feel my DM will always be with me.

Keep strong for your DH, allow him to talk and cry and shout and you will both be stronger for it.

[MrsShrek3]

city, your post about your wonderful dm is beautiful. MIL also said the same about FIL -like he's never gone as we all carried on talking about him (he died in July last yr) . Grandma will be hugely missed by all of us as she has been a huge part of the children's lives, as are my parents. Can't really believe it.

DH got home around 1am, after she'd gone. he seems amazingly chilled. not talking much but so so calm. he spent 12hrs just sitting with her yesterday, we will never know how that went but just hope that it was positive for both of them.